To Hold Tight or to Let Go

Trauma

Chanthira: Oon, I know I shouldn't bother you after everything but...I was thinking that we could meet for coffee.

Arthit stared at the message. His mother sent it to him early that morning and now it was well past noon and Arthit still couldn't answer. Kongpob had gone back to work as they only had temporary time off. Arthit only went into work three days of the week and two days he worked from home so he could be with Kingman. Since Kongpob would be taking over his father's company eventually, they made the decision that he would be the one at working full time at the office. It had only been a month since the arrangement and Arthit missed his husband.

On cue, Arthit's phone lit up. He quickly answered it, accepting the video call. His handsome husbands face filled the screen. Arthit could see that Kongpob was at his desk with the bento box Arthit made him that morning.

"P? You look sad what's wrong?"

"I just miss you," Arthit mumbled.

"Babe, I come home every night," Kongpob smiled.

"My mom wants to see me," Arthit blurted out.

Kongpob froze for a moment then smiled again. "P, if you want to give it a try I won't stop you. I'll support it. But I don't want her meeting our son. Not yet anyways. I don't trust her with him."

"Me either," Arthit said. "But I kind of want to meet her. I don't know...I just feel conflicted. I don't want a personal relationship with her but if I can't trust her, then how can I hope Kingman gets to know her? I just need to see her in person and see how she'd treat our son."

"Then you can meet her P. I support that. And it might be healing for you too." Arthit nodded then moved the phone to the living room where Kingman was in his basinet sleeping so Kongpob could see their son. After getting off the phone, Arthit opened his messages.

Arthit: I'll meet you but understand from now that I'm not bringing my son with me. Kongpob doesn't approve and I can't go against my husband's wishes.

Chanthira: I just want it to be us. I understand I'll have to be patient to meet the little one. Thank you for wanting to meet me, Oon.

Arthit was far more nervous than meeting his mother than he thought he would be. He was still in therapy with Ohm, but only once a week and majority of the time he felt as if he'd worked through his feelings about his parents. Ohm kept insisting that they keep up session even when Arthit didn't feel the need to. Now Arthit understood why Ohm never wanted to give up the sessions. If Arthit was struggling just at the thought of seeing his parents then there was still plenty of unresolved issues.

Saturday morning, Kongpob packed up a diaper bag for Kingman, deciding to go visit his parents with the baby while Arthit was meeting his mother.

"You have everything? What about extra diapers? And formula don't forget the formula!" Kongpob smiled at his fussy husband. He went over to Arthit who was digging around the diaper bag.

"I have everything P. And remember mae keeps supplies at her house too. We're fine."

Arthit took a deep breath and looked over at Kingman who was eating his fist from his car seat that was on the couch. He was making noises and kicking his fat legs, entertaining himself. Arthit went over to him and knelt down. When Kingman noticed him, he squealed and held his arms out, kicking his legs harder.

"What a papa's boy," Kongpob said from behind him.

"Don't be jealous," Arthit mumbled, leaning in and kissing his son's cheeks. Kingman tried to kiss back but only ended up eating Arthit's cheeks. He fisted Arthit's hair and pulled.