Raising Hell

Poisoned Conscience

I walked back to my room proudly. I could practically hear Ben's screams from the roof. In an hour or two the bounds guards will do their rounds, finding Ben. I wasn't completely heartless, I knew he wouldn't die out there.

I walk to my door and stop. I can't sleep now, I am too awake. So I keep walking down the hall, out of the wing and to the center of headquarters. I look around, many people hang out here after work. I go and sit at one the benches. Everyone is laughing, and smiling. One couple is holding hands at the bench next to me. They knew it was illegal, public display of affection was depressing and caused some to commit suicide. They didn't care and neither did they. I remember when my parents kissed before he left for practice or before they went to bed. I remembered pretending to be grossed out but in reality I loved it. When they were together, they were one. They loved one another more than anything in the world, and you saw it in their eyes. They weren't extraordinary people, they weren't famous or rich. They had each other and that was all that mattered. Love didn't need to be brilliant or full of fire. It was deeper than that, embers that burned hotter than any flame.

I snapped back into reality and watched everyone. In the corner of my eye I see a women slowly walking up to me. I turn to see who it is, Haley. She stops in front of me and turns to sit down. We are quiet for a while, staring at every one.

"Haley, I am so sorry. I didn't me to hurt-"

"Don't" She interrupts me. "Just don't talk." She looks ahead, avoiding my stare. I nod and look ahead. I feel a touch on my hand. I look down to see Haley's hand on my hand. I look up at her. There are tears in her eyes but she still looks ahead. I grab her hand and squeeze. I look ahead of me. We sit there for a while, with no words. We didn't need any.

After an hour or so the large room became nearly empty. She gets up and turns to me. She kneels and holds both my hands. She looks at me, tears rolling down her cheeks.

"Alex, look at me." She says. I do.

"I don't know what your doing or what is going on but you need to promise me something, okay? You need to stay alive, Alex. You can't die, okay. Don't do something stupid because if you do, Alex. If you do, I will not be able to live with myself, Alex." She is crying now. "Promise me damn it Alex. Promise me!" She screams at me. She crumples to the floor and sits with her legs crossed. She weeps and I sit down by her. I pull her chin up.

"Listen to me. This city isn't going to be safe soon. So you need to be strong, be smart and don't be brave. You can't tell anyone about this okay? Listen to me." She does. "I promise to live as long as you do to. You cant worry about me, I will be fine." I tell her nodding. She nods too. I am not sure who I am reassuring; me or her. I get up and walk away. I don't look back. Because if I do, I will never want to leave.

Walking back to my room is devastating. I walked away from the only friend I ever had. Now I only have Jake, the one person who has not yet threatened me, though there is always tomorrow. I enter my room and fall into my bed. I look at the ceiling and whimper to myself. I feel as if I just made a terrible mistake. I didn't give her a warning, I gave her a death sentence.

Waking up the next morning I felt a tremendous amount of stress. I got up and took a shower in the middle of the room and put on my uniform, not even bothering to dry off. I quickly made breakfast and put it on my water bottle. There's a knock on my door and I raise my eyebrows. I open it and there stands Jake.

"I thought we could walk together." He said. I nodded. I stepped through the door and followed beside him. His walk was stern like it always seemed to be. It looked as if he always had somewhere to go, someone to see. I looked over at him. Is jaw bone was sharp and jagged. He had a five o'clock shadow, his green eyes were dark and beautiful in a way that was hard to see. His brown hair was cleanly cut military style.