"I heard you didn't say goodbye to your mother." He said, as I got ready to exit the jet.
"It was too hard." I say slinging a backpack over my shoulder.
"She figured it would be." He said and took something out his pocket. A crumpled envelope lay in his hand and I take it. "She asked me to give it to you." He explained.
"Thank you." I say quietly looking at the front, analyzing the handwriting that scribbled my love. It was my mother's for sure, I just wasn't sure if I wanted to read it. I stuck it in my pocket.
"I'll read it later." I promise. He nods in understanding and motions to the door opening to the outside world.
"You better get going." He says and I look back at the door.
"Thank you." I say and he shrugs his shoulders.
"Just wanted to keep you company." He says and I pick up my backpack and walk out the door.
The plane takes off behind me and I am left alone. I take out the envelope from my pocket and sit on the cold ground. I open it and start to read.
Dear Alex,
Over the last few years I have watched you grow into your father and that's the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I never wanted you to put yourself at risk like he always did, I couldn't afford to lose both of you. But I couldn't stop fate, as much as I tried. I have come to realize that this is what makes you your best self, just as it did your father. He knew you would find a way to be a soldier and like always he was right. As much as you two are alike, I see some differences in you as well. You have a wit that your father never had, some would even call it charming. I'd like to think that's from me. I love you Alex, more than you could ever know and I am so proud to call you my daughter. You have shown me not only how to be a good soldier but also how to be a better mother. Though I know you don't need it, I give you my blessing. I want you to be happy and if you truly are then never stop doing what you love. I never understood why being a soldier was so important to you but now I finally do. Your were born for this. You are brave, wise and intelligent. And you have more love in your heart than anyone I have ever met, maybe even more than your father. Whether or not this mission is successful I want you to know that I am so proud of you, and I love you more than anything in this world. If anybody can do this Alex, It's you.
Love, Mama
I look up from the letter and wipe my eyes from the tears. I look around and had to squint because the light shined on the golden weeds and illuminated the whole sky. It was the closest thing I have ever seen to heaven. I wanted Jake to be here with me, to see it. I looked over the letter again and finally realized how much I loved my mother, and how much I regret not saying goodbye. She believed in me this whole time but she didn't want to lose me. I knew how she felt now that I had people to lose too. It was a weight on your heart, knowing what you have to risk. Sometimes I think it would be easier to never love or feel anything at all. Though when I am with the people I love I can't think of a world without them. Is it better to love and get your heart broken or never love at all?
I already knew the answer. Yes it might be easier to shut myself out from the real world but it wouldn't be worth it. I get up from my rock and look at the tree line, about a mile away. It was hazy from the flaming sun but I could tell it was close enough to walk to in one evening. As I walked I remembered everything. Memories appeared in my head, clear as day. They made me long for the home I have begun to make for myself. They made me reconsider my eagerness. Every time I looked at a pine tree, I thought of Jake sitting under it. It was impossible to run away from the past, I've decided and sometimes that's a blessing.
I could feel blisters forming on my ankles and I wished for better boots, yet again. I stopped and swigged some water from my canteen and watched the sun set and view my progress towards the tree line. I sometimes wonder why they don't drop us of closer to base but some questions are better left unasked. I picked up my backpack and slung it over my shoulder again, ready to race the day light.
On your marks....Get set....Go
YOU ARE READING
Raising Hell
Science Fiction"I starved myself but I never died. I have no idea how I survived that long without food. The floors I slept on where of moldy brick and sometimes a rat would curl up to my neck. I stopped caring. The warmth kept me sane." I took a deep breath and c...
