RESCUE - Part 2

Chapter 9 - Piers Morgan

I sat in the chair, ready to kill him, he'd chatted to the audience talking about the latest news, I was ready for my LIVE interview...I saw mouse sat next to Flynn, Summer and Alex as the cameraman shouted action, I was ready for anything "joining us today in our first live interview is Charlie Jenkinson, often know a a global treasure she's had hit after hit in her movies, and is now more well known as an angel....so Charlie, how are you?" "I'm fine thanks how are you?" "I'm very well thank you...so when your stardom took off, did you love it or was it more of a neusance?" The audience chuckled slightly "Yeah how can you not it was fantastic! The buzz of the fans, the love..." I crossed my leg over the other "now you met your now husband on your show bondi rescue, yes? And you have three kids? three very gorgoues kids I might add" "they certainly are" he paused before questioning more "now, you have a long romance with another lifeguard Ryan Clark, but what we are more interested in is a man names Lincoln? is it true that, there was another man?" I took a breath before answering him "yes there was a period of time where me and Michael were split, and yes there was another" "his name was Lincoln Bellarose and your youngest son Flynn was his?" "Yes" "do you stop him from seeing him?" My blood began to boil "No I'd never do that, Flynn is old enough to decide if he does or doesn't want to see him" he flicked through his notes "now...you've had a bit of a rough time haven't you?" "Depends on when you're referring" "well..your car crash, let's talk about that first, that was pretty serious" "yeah....and Yes there's the photo of my car" "how did you get out of that alive?!" I felt tears brimming "to be honest....I don't know...I don't know how I got out of there alive, and to the people who helped me I'm very thankful and they know that" "and then you had an issue with a stalker was it?" "Coco yes" he began to I reel off all the details, including the times she's hurt me, the he hit me where it hurt "and then you lost your dad" I swallowed nervously, the lump growing in my throat "I hear you were close to your father" "yeah very" "if you had one wish what would it be?" "To hug my dad one last time...and my god I'm make that hug last forever" I swallowed as I played with the tissue in my hand "and it's true that coco caused you to lose your memory for a while?" I nodded as I began to fill him in, "so how did you get that back?" I looked at him, I hated him, I couldn't hide it anymore, sarcastic bitch mode had been activated "I'm sure in your notes you have how I got my memory back" the audience laughed as I looked at mouse who tilted his head and smiled kindly at me "this is the song that brought back your memory?" They played the song in the studio, the familiar notes, "carry on my wayward on" a single tear rolled down my cheek, "am I right in saying that your father was part of your campaign kick off, your 'Never give up' campaign?" "Yeah he was" "and a big thing that your campaign helps with is bullying and suicide?" I nodded as I grabbed a fresh tissue and dabbed my eyes.

"Tell us a bit about that" "what do you wanna know?" The audience clapped for me "well...have you yourself ever actually been bullied? A pretty girl like you, I'm sure was always popular, has everything she wants, has all the confidence, have you ever been bullied?" I'd never spoken about this, not to anyone...not even mouse "Yes..." Some of the audience took a breath "we will be back after a quick break join us soon!" Some music played and the cameras cut piers leant forward "okay so if you could big up this next story make it dram-" "no I don't think so" the producer walked over "Charlie, this could really boost your career" "I'm 40 years old I do NOT need a career boost, I'm pretty good as I am Thank you I don't fancy pity votes" the producer spoke into his Mike as the cameras came back on...

"Okay so Charlie after the break you said you'd been bullied, can you highlight some of that for us? Was it mor of a one off?" "every year of my school life, piers I was bullied,...I was called fat, ugly the usual shit names, then it got mental torture, I got bullied for having a bit of money, for liking video games instead of dolls, I preferred to fall in love with famous people and films instead of the boys in class, to be honest, I think the reason that I'm so into my bands, books, movies and shows is because I'd rather fill myself with those things than admit that I was actually lonely and not happy and actually want to cry most of the time, I mean the loneliness isn't an issue now, but, back then when I was a victim of bullying, I was so alone, but the shows that I watched, they filled my life with something, something I could be passionate about, and of course I got bullied for that too, and when no one could see me I'd cry, but then I'd log into the shows fanbase and suddenly feel.....feel like I had friends..." "And have you ever felt suicidal?" He pushed further I took a long breath "yes" I looked at mouse who took a breath as tears rolled down his cheeks "do you have any evidence?" "Why don't you just ask me outright if I have scars! Stop beating around the bush" "okay, do you have any scars?"  I took off my watch, and held out my wrist, the faintest white scar was just visible "yeah I used to feel suicidal, happy now?" The audience, deadly silent.

But he kept pushing "Do you ever feel ashamed of your scars?" I rolled my eyes at him, I'd had enough "y'know what, some of us cut, some of us used to cut, we are NOT proud of what we did, but we are NOT ashamed of our scars, each and every line has its own story and the fact that the wounds have now healed, reminds us that things, in the end DID get better" "there are a lot of jokes about self harming out there what do you think of them?" "I thought jokes were supposed to be funny?" I tilted my head at piers "I hate it when people joke about cutting, suicide or eating disorders, I've lived through those jokes, I've been the butt of those jokes, the thing is people have NO idea what we go through, you could be stood next to someone who is planning on self harming and you'd never know, so please stop joking about it, it hurts, really hurts, because don't you hate it when people make a joke about you?" Piers looked at me I was on a roll
And I was not stopping now "make a joke about something that you are actually incredibly insecure about, and they don't realise it, but every laugh feels like a stab in your chest, because it hurts so much and brings up memories you'd rather forget, but you can't say anything, because then people would know your weakness, they'd know how insecure you really were, so instead you laugh it off and hide the pain you feel, and my whole life I have been that friend that has to walk behind the group when the path isn't big enough, I'm that friend that got cut off in the conversation, the one who gets left behind when asked if they'd wait for me, or the one who doesn't get invited to hang out, I've always been that friend" I leant back in my chair as another tear rolled down my cheek "are you crying because you're upset or-" "no, because you're pissing me off" the audience chuckled as he asked a final question "you seem to take all of this in your stride....how? You see all do these celebs in the news that crave attention if a nail break, but here you are, you've been through a divorce, miscarriages, family loss, being cheated on and yet we don't ever see a headline of Charlie Jenkinson suffers another meltdown? Do you just not have meltdowns?" "I have meltdowns...of course I do and I wear my heart on my sleeve, but, three things keep me stuck down to earth, I don't need attention I'm not the only person in the world that is going through some shit" "and finally...what are those three things?" "Friends...my husband...and my three kids they keep my world real and I wouldn't change that" piers nodded at me, just looking at me "well...that's been Charlie Jenkinson, sharing her life with us thank you for coming into the show" I nodded my head as the camera cut, I got up and instantly went to the welcoming arms of mouse the audience hadn't moved "you did good baby" he whispered in my ear "come on, I need a pint!" I walked down the main entrance...

That night, mouse and I were laid in bed, I was tucked up into his chest when he took hold of my arm, removed my watch and kissed my wrist "I'm sorry, I know how you feel about all tha-" "shhhh, I'm just sorry I couldn't be there for you" I looked at him "just when i thought I knew everything about you...." "you don't feel any less though do you?" "Charlie I love you even more, when I didn't think that was possible...you really stuck up for yourself, and people love that about you, but hey, all that, is what makes you you, and I certainly wouldn't want that to change, now, is everything planned for tomorrow?" He squeezed me "yeah it's all set up, I'm actually really nervous..." "You'll do great" he kissed my cheek before turning out the light.