playboy diaries : c.h

10: trouble

luke hemmings.

Part of me wants to stay in this situation, and part of me wants to rip my head off and just disappear in where I am right now.

I'm stuck in a room, with my ex-girlfriend and the one I have feelings for.

“Clarice, let me go. Please!” I whined. I just need to go somewhere away from this place.

She glared at me looked the other way. “No, Luke. She's been our stylist ever since. I won't let you go. You need to talk to her and have a proper closure. Not like the ones she did. What she did was wrong.”

The girl was right. We never had a proper closure and didn't talk after that shitty break-up.

I shrugged and stayed silent on my seat. We're waiting for her to come out and see Clarice's dress. I mean, her four dresses to be exact. I never thought that I will regret being in this position. Right now, I'm nervous and I don't know what to feel and I don't know how to act.

In the first place, all I want to do is hang-out with Clarice. She got my heart and I still feel envious about Calum and her. He got some trouble to get into.

After approximately fifteen minutes of waiting, Angel came out with a smile plastered in her face.

“Hi Clarice! I got your dresses here wi-” She stopped at her tracks and immently locked eyes with mine. She still has her light brown hair cascading in the back with curls in the end, her typical jeans and cropped top and vans. She never changed. Just the way she looks at me.

Clarice coughed and interrupted the silence that engulfed us. “So, uhm. I'm going to get these in the car. I'm just going to wait for you, Luke. Thanks Angel!” She went out of the store and it's just me and her inside.

“Uhh. Hello, Luke. It's been two months we didn't s-see each other.” She said, her smile faded away and she was crying. I did what is right.

I hugged her like nothing else happened between us.

The spark was different. It's like, I never felt the hugs that I gave her before. I soothed her back in a friendly manner and just let her cry on my shirt.

“Don't cry now, love. Don't cry.” I said. She tilted her head and wiped her tears away. We stayed like that for a moment. I stared at her deep brown orbs who fascinated me the first time I saw her.

Angel was a big inspiration to me. I started all my first times with her. First song writing was with her, first hiking was with her. Even my first kiss was her. Every first time was worth it. And two years of those first times was thrown away by her. And it hurted me. I loved her so much, she just broke up for no permanent reason.

“Angel? Are you okay?” I calmly asked her. We sat down at the couch there.

She breathed deeply and looked away. “Yeah, I am. How are you then?”

“I'm good. How about you?”

“I'm sorry.”

“For what?”

“Don't act like you don't know it, Luke. Deep inside you, you want to stab me.”

I cringed. My lips was in a thin line and all I can think about is where this talk would go. I just wanna go home now.

“Why did you broke up with me in the first place?”

Angel shifted her seat in a comfortable way. She was prepared for this, I can tell.

“First, I'm sorry. For not telling you everything. I broke up with you because my mom knew that I had a boyfriend without her consent. I was afraid of telling you. She was really furious and gave me threats that if I didn't broke up with you at that day, she will send someone to kill you and I don't want that to happen. Everything was not in place, Luke. I messed up big time.”

My fist was formed in a ball. I was furious. Angel's mum has no right to give me threats. “Why didn't you tell me? I'n a good person, Angel! I can't even hurt a girl. And why didn't you tell your mum? Everything was a lie since the beginning?” I screamed at the top of my lungs. She was afraid. I don't know why but I felt the need to get this grip out of my head.

Angel looked away. “No. Nothing was a lie. It's my fault. And I'm so sorry for breaking your heart. You don't deserve such bullshit, Luke.”

I hugged her again. I felt the need to do it. So, I did. “If you only just told me what the real thing is, we were able to fix it up. I'm sorry you need to suffer those, Angel.”

I let her go and now, she was plastering a smile in her face.

“Thank you, Luke.”

“For what?”

“For giving me a chance to explain things. You never showed such an attitude. I mean, yeah. Sometimes you act like a dork and I'm really thankful for that two years you gave me. That was worth it.”

There's this saying that crying is for girls. But, no. Crying is for everyone and nothing's wrong with crying. Sometimes, all you need to do is let the tears fall in your eyes to make you feel a little bit lighter and all. Right now, that's what I did.

Angel may have broke me, but she mended me again. Just like the ones we used to be before.

“So, you're with Clarice now?” She said, wiggling her eyebrows at me.

I laughed at her attempt to imitate my eyebrow wiggles. “Stop doing that Angel it's funny and nope. She has a boyfriend.” I scoffed.

Angel went to the table and wrote something on a paper. She stood up, folded the paper and stuffed it in my pocket. “Hah. Lucas, you're jealous. Don't get jealous on things easily. Remember that.”

We did a little chitchat about what's up in our lives. After that, I bid goodbye to her and hugged her again.

“Uhm, Luke?” She called. I was at the door and was about to go out. I saw Clarice's car still parked.

“What is it?”

“It was nice to see you again.”

I smiled. “You too, Angel.”

Before I step out, she called my name again.

“Luke! Wait!”

“Angel, what again?” I said with a laugh.

“Read what's on the paper I wrote when you hop in her car.”

I smiled and winked. “I will.”

Angel was still looking in my way when a question popped up in my head.

“So,” I started. “Is this goodbye or we'll see each other again? We good and friends now?”

Angel laughed and smiled at me. “It's not goodbye, Luke. And we are good and friends.”

“See you soon, Angel.”

“Until next time, Luke.”

With that, she disappeared in my sight.

I was nearing the car when I fished out the note Angel gave me. I glanced at Clarice who was smiling when she saw me talking with Angel. I opened the paper and read the contents.

Thanks for the two years! :) Hope you make another story with that girl beside you! :D

p.s: You will be a cute couple, swear to the heavens. ;)

- A x

Angel knows I like her.

I looked outside and whispered.

“I will, Angel. I will try to make a new memory with the girl beside me.”

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i'm legit crying rn what did i just wrote that ;(

yaaay another update for y'all because someone requested so here it goes :))

i hope you're all doing well and i hope you're happy ilysm !! ;)