playboy diaries : c.h

1: lunch fights

calum hood.

School. School will fucking start in a span of one week.

I always loved the thought of school. Being with your friends and doing shit together is one of the best things in my life. Seeing girls wet their pants as they see us walking through the rusty corridors is like the best scene for me. I lived here in Australia for like, forever. I met my three best mates: Ashton, Luke and Michael. We all met when we were still young, our families got along very well. I'm thankful for them because they were there when I needed them. But, everything went blurry and dark when my father died. He was involved in a car crash. I can still feel myself crying at night because I felt guilty for my father's death. I blamed myself for letting him die. This is the time where I started acting the playboy asshole in school.

I became envious about others. Envious because they have a complete family. Envious because they always seem so happy. Envious because I wanted to be in their place. I wanted to be happy. I never prayed for having a ruined life. All I want is for people to suffer what I have. I don't want seeing them happy, and I will never be happy.

It's a Friday night. The boys decided to go and have some fun at the party my friend invited us to. I want to doze off a bit, to forget about these shitty stuffs and brush off thoughts of what happened five years ago. It's just so tragic to me because I love my father so much. He was my savior. He saved me from my classmates who bullied me back when I was a kid. That is why, I used it as a weapon. A deadly weapon you never saw coming.

I stared at myself in the mirror. Wearing only my smiley shirt, messy hair, typical black ripped jeans and my converse. I didn't care. I'll just act cool in front of people. That's what I'm good at.

"Calum, honey. Your friends, are here." My mom called with a soothing voice. I grabbed my phone and went down to the living room. Michael, Luke and Ashton were here. I smiled at them and motioned myself to the kitchen to look for my mom. I found her making dinner. "Mom, I'll just go to a party with my friends." I kissed her cheek and she smiled. "Of course. No games, Calum. Don't drink too much, okay?" I nodded with a smile and went out of the kitchen.

I saw my friends again and I smiled at them. "Let's go? We may be late at Jack's party." They all nodded and went out of the house. I jiggled the keys in my hands and opened the car. I sat at the driver's seat and gripped the steering wheel. I really don't know what's bothering me. The three boys also made their way to the car and I started it as soon as they all got inside. Ashton decided to cut off the silence. "Calum? What is bothering you? Mind telling us?" Luke nodded in response. Michael just stared at me with a sad smile, noticing that I'm really a bit off in this world. "Nothing's really wrong with me. It's just that.." I stopped at the sound of my heart. My heart was racing. I don't even know why. Luke looked at me with a sad face. "Calum? Mate? Are you really okay? Is your he-" I cutted him off. "I'm fine, mate. Don't worry about me." I smiled at them and they sighed, small smile escaping their lips and continued bantering about who they will date in the first day of school.

As I saw the house, the party was being held, my stomach started churning. I didn't like the sound of blaring speakers, hence, in dancing class I'm always the one being told to lead because I'm a dancer, but, in parties, I hate it. I just agreed going to this party because I missed seeing people around me. Ever since my dad passed away, the house has this eerie silence and I can't withstand it. It just gets annoying each day. I just can't hold it in.

I parked the car and got out as fast as I could. The three lads went their way inside and the thumping of the speakers made my head throb. I whinced in pain and looked around my surroundings. It was full of people making out, drunk bodies sprawled out of nowhere. I just rolled my eyes at them and made my way inside.