Broken

Broken: Chapter 5

Nakita mo na ba 'to ate. Lewl.

***

I twisted and turned. I can't seem to find a perfect position to sleep. More like my brain won't stop thinking about what I just realised just this afternoon. I can't be in lo—have a crush on him right? He's a pervert, bully and, and gwapo? NOOO. Oh no.

Umikot ulit ako at niyakap ang isang unan. Ni hindi ko nga alam kung anong oras na. Buti na lang at sabado bukas at hindi ko kailangang gumising nang maaga. I bit my lip and remembered how I caught him with a woman once. I remembered how they were in the couch at their house their hands on each other and...er...kissing.

My cheeks starts to feel hot again and I squeezed the pillow tighter. For some reason I feel like I want to punch that woman in the face. Oh no. I shook my head violently. Hindi 'to pwede. I need to make this feeling go away.

I think it would be best for me to stay away from him for a little bit of time.

To unwind. 

My heart sank.

I was woken up by the sound of my doorknob rotating and my door being pushed. I held my breath and pulled the blankets just below my eyes and waited for the intruder. "Love?"

Right after I heard that my eyes closed shut. I tilted my head to one side and lay still. I heard his footsteps approaching my bed. His scent, mixture of mint and man spray, filled the room. As soon as he entered I held my breath and gulp a couple of times. Boy, was I happy to put the blanket over my lips.

"Love." He called again. To make things more realistic I stirred and wiggled my body a bit. I heard him sigh and sit in the bed. "Mag teten na, tulog ka pa rin?" suddenly I feel his hands stroking my hair, unconciously, I leaned in to his touch.

My hand gripped the blanket tighter when I felt his breath fanning my cheek. Omg, anong ginagawa nya? Are we going to kiss?

"Drix hayaan mo na yan si Lliane. Baka na pagod sa school kahapon. Ako na bahalang tumawag dyan mamaya" sigaw ni mama mula sa baba. I can't feel his breath anymore but his hands continue to stroke my hair.

He stood up and moments later I heard my doors shut. Nagbilang pa akong nang one to twenty para makasigurong wala na sya. You'll never know with him, baliw yun eh. Once I was confident that he was gone, nilagay ko yung unan sa mukha ko at sumigaw. OMG! Did he—did we almost kissed?

I started rolling around the bed not caring if some of my pillows are on the floor. Wala din akong pakielam kung gulo-gulo na ang kama at nasa mukha ko na ang buhok ko. Nagpatuloy ako hanggang sa napagod na amkong kiligin.

But my excitement quickly faded away when I realise that he was probably doing this because I'm a child needing for a care. I need to stop this growing feeling, kasi ako lang ang masasaktan. Naknamputcha, first love ko tas magiging unrequited. No thank you.

Since nandito sila sa bahay I need to go out. Hindi ko kayang makita ang dimples nya, mafafall ako lalo. Naligo ako at nagbihis. Buti na lang at may natira pa sa allowance ko. Kahit dyan lang ako sa pinakamalapit na ice cream shop tumambay pweydi na.

"Ma alis ako ah."

"Saan ka pupunta?" I wish my mum said that. Pero si Kuya Drix beh, si Drix!

"Sa...um...sa...pasyalan." I said while fiddling with my thumbs.

"May pera ka pa ba Lliane? Magpahatid ka na dyan kay Drix" sabi ni Mama while stirring a pot in the kitchen.

"Ma kahit wag na. Malayo kasi, sayang gasolina. Mapapagod pa si Kuya Drix. And I can manage myself anyways...so ba bye" and bolted straight for the door. Wag kang lilingon sa kanya. Wag kang lilingon sa kanya.

"Hey not so fast. Sasama ako"

"P-pero—"

"Shh. Ba't ayaw mo ba akong isama ha?"

"Kasi ano...um...kasi ayaw ko" nagtaas sya nang kilay dahil sa sinabi ko. "I want to go alone. Masyado mo kasi akong binibaby" his eyes softened from what I said.

"Alright. Pero ihahatid kita."

"Samalat friend ah. Salamat dahil inilayo mo ako sa boyfriend ko" nakasimangot na sabi ni Rossi habang pabalang na sinubo yung waffle nya. Dahil nagpanic ako tinawagan ko si Rossi para imeet ako sa mall. Mas malapit naman yung bahay nya dito kaya nauna sya. Ayoko kasing malaman ni kuya na ako lang magisa ang gagala baka sumama yun edi wala din yung plano ko.

"Boyfriend? Haha sino si V?"

"Sila. Dalawa ang V na boyfriend ko!!"  baliw na talaga 'to si Rossi. Isang kpop at isang comic na V. Habang nakasimangot ay hinahalik halikan nya pa yung V for vendetta mask keychain nya. "So bakit mo ba ako pinapunta rito?"

"Rossi may confession ako."

"Ano buntis ka?"

"Kaagad?!" she rolled her eyes heavenwards. I gulped a couple of times and stared at her. Finally she let go of her keychain and raised an eyebrow. "I think I l-l-like kuya Drix"

Moment of silence.

"BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. NGAYON MO LANG NAREALISE? BAHAHAHAHA"

"What do you mean?" nagtatakang tanong ko. So, all these years obvious na gusto ko si kuya Drix and ironically ako lang ang di nakakaalam.

"I mean matagal nang obvious kung hindi ngayon, in the future magiging kayo noh. Honestly, I ship you guys #DiaNne forever"

"Sa tingin mo ba—"

"Kung may gusto rin sya sa'yo? NO SHIT." She said her last remark full of scarcasm. Winagayway pa nya pa yung kamay nya.

"Kaso natatakot ako. Alam mo naman si kuya Drix, basta may skirt, papatusin non. Tsaka you know how dad is in Australia, I'm scared na baka anytime kunin nya kami." She pouted and stirred her coffee. Moments later I heard sobbing sounds. "Hoy anyare sa'yo?"

"Freeend pag umalis ka wag mong kakalimutan si Rossi De Guzman ah?! Ang pinakamaganda at pinakasexy mong friend." Sabi nya habang nakakapit sa braso ko.

"Huy! Sabi ko di pa sure."

"Pag umalis ka ipapamigay ko si Kuya Drix bahahahaahah" I pinched her arm. "Sorry na. Sa'yo na. Kayo na already".

I finally come to terms with myself na gusto ko sya. Pero di pa ako sure. Gusto ko ba na ang magiging first ko ay isang lalaking matangkad, sweet, cheeky....

Dinama ko ang dibdib ko at naramdaman ko kung paano mag wala ang puso ko just by thinking about him. I'm not sure if it's a good idea but might as well think it through. Mabuti siguro kung I'll keep on hiding from me and we'll see.

***

True story. Pabebe ka ate Jay.

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