Perfect Weapon

Depression..

*Monday morning*
I woke up to a text from Roxy.
Roxy- hey, were all going to school today. See you there?
Me- yeah, I'll be there. How is Carter?
Roxy- she is doing good. Kelly kinda flipped out.
Me- yeah? How'd that go?
Roxy- well, she is making Carter and Blaze go to therapy. And  she is conflicted on letting them talk to us..
Me- wtf?!?
Roxy- I doubt that will happen tho. Blaze told her off. She said if they aren't aloud to see us, she will loose both of them.
Me- oh, ok. Well i gtg. See u at school.
Roxy- ok. See ya.
I rolled out of bed remembering the night before with Toby. Where is he anyways? I shrugged and got in the shower.
I kept hearing these voices that were telling me to kill myself, that I'm worthless, that there better off without me.
I began crying. I got out of the shower studying my body in the mirror. I wore only underwhare and a bra. I'm not really skinney, but I'm not necessarily 'fat'. But I felt fat. I began crying again I was some what of a silent cryer, besides I guess the obvious sounds. I put on some yoga pants and an old blink-182 shirt. Carters favorite band.
I whiped my face and applyed make up. My eyes were swollen and red.
After finishing both eyes, I turned to the door and saw my reflection. I stopped and began crying again. I heard a knock on the door.
"West, are you ok?" I heard someone say.
"Yeah, im ok." I said standing up quickly whipping My face off realizing my makeup was smeared down my cheeks. When I didn't hear anything, I sat down and be can crying again.
Someone be can opening the door. I look up to see Jeff.
"What's wrong?" He asked sitting next to me.
"Nothing, I'm fine." I whipped my eyes and stood up. He stood up and hugged me.
"I love you West. You don't deserve any of this. I hate myself for what I did. I can't sleep, I can't eat, I i- I'm nothing without you, West. I love you." He began crying.
I hugged him back. "I love you too." I buried my face in his warm chest.
Why am I so emotional? I hate this, I hardly ever cry. Now, i cry on a Dailey basis.

I walked down stairs, not concerned about my appearence. Messy hair, smeared make up, red swollen eyes, and sweatpants. I threw my hair in a messy bun before I walk to the fridge. I pull out an apple and take a bite.
I felt a sharp pain before I felt an aching in my mouth.
Damn. Nice one, pig. I thought as I walked to the bathroom to view my braces that were snapped.
I threw the apple away, not worried about the pain, it actually was helping. Distracting me from the world. I looked everywhere for Toby, its too earley to be working.. Where the hell is he? I felt my snapped brace digging into my gums, I didn't mind the pain.
I went in the basement to see Toby, maskey, hoody, and Jeff standing in a circle talking.
"Sorry I was just-" I started but was cut off by a swarm of hugs.
"How ya doing Kiddo?" Maskey asked.
"I'm fine." I said blinking back tears.
It was nice to see Toby getting along with everyone.
Hoodie kissed the top of  my head.
"I'm here If you need anything." I smiled.
"God I love you guys so much." I felt tears in my  eyes.
"School time." Jeff said breaking the hug.
"Ohh, y- yeah." I said whiping my eyes making my makeup worse.
Toby smerked.
"I'll walk you." He said.
I nodded before hugging everyone again.
I grabbed my bad and began walking with Toby at my side.
Before walking out of the woods Toby stopped me.
"West, you are the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. I can't express how much I love you. I hate seeing you so depressed. I would do anything to take it away." I fell into his hug.
I began crying coming to realization. Toby is a pretty literal person. If he says you look good, you look good. If he says you look bad, you look bad. When he said "I hate seeing you so depressed" made me realize. My emotions are affecting everyone. Maybe I am actually depressed?
Toby broke the hug looking down at me before whiping my tears which only made me cry more.
"Call me if you need anything." He kissed the top of my head before I walked off.
I stopped at the gas station and got some Tylenol and a Dr. Pepper. I wasn't really supossed to be able to buy Tylenol, but the owner has known me for forever, I've came here since I was like.. 9. I got Tylenol pm because I wasn't planning to go to any of my classed to be honest.

I was about 30 minuits late, I didn't care. Instead of going to class I went to the library. I walked to the back corner and saw Ace. He was waring ripped up black jeans, a blue and Greg hoodie. His face was red and his eyes were swollen. I sat down next to him.
"I'd say you look almost as good as I do." I said nudging him with my shoulder. He smerked, but it was obviously fake. I stood up infrount of him and held my hands out for him to take, but he didn't. I reached down and took his hands attempting to lull him up
"I really don't see the point." He said under his breath.
"Neither did I." He looked up at me. I grabbed his hands and pulled him up, with his help.
"Don't tell my you feel as bad as I do." He was blinking back tears.
"I'm afraid I do, Mr. Rider. But- I do see the point. Yesterday I was saying the same think. Life is pointless, what's the point."
He kept eye contact with me.. He was tall, or maybe I'm just short, but he wasn't as tall as Toby.
What do you think the point of life is I asked pulling out my phone.
"I don't know, live, fall in love, and die." He answered.
"Hey, your better at this than I thought. But what about the little things?" I asked.
He didn't answer.
"What about target, what about the night at the ware house, what about the first day we met? When Jay called me his bitch. When pierce was on the table, saying he was the kicker of all peasant asses?"
Ace had tears falling from his eyed, but I did to.
He cupped my face in his hands.
"See, without those moments, life would be pointless." I said.
He whipped my tears away.
"And now" I  started before pulling out my phone."this will be one of those moments." I said before taking a picture of my and ace. We both looked horrible, but we didn't care.
"West?" He asked
"Yes?"
"Frame it." He said before hugging me.
I smiled and cried into his chest. His arms were strong around me.
We sat around hugging and crying and talking until the lunch bell.
"We should go see how they are." He said holding out his hands helping me up.
We walked to lunch side by side. We haven't seen anyone today.
When we got to the cafateria we didn't see anyone. We sat down and waited about 10 minuits and they never showed.
I pulled out my phone to the group chat.
Me- where the hell are you guys??
Jay- did u not get the messages??
Ace looked at me, I shrugged.
Ace- no we didn't get any messages.
Roxy- were at the hospital. Carter and blazed father took a surprise visit. Get to the hospital, now.
Without saying anything me and ace stood up and walked out of school, just like that.
"How the hell are we going to get there?" He asked. We are both frantic and crying.
I pull out my phone.
Me- hey, where r u?
CC- my house, what's up?
Me- I kinda need a ride. Can upick us up and take us to the hostpital?
CC- I'll be there in 5.
I put my phone away and sat on the ground next to ace. It was raining the night before, so the ground was pretty wet, but we didn't mind.
"CC is on her way" I said.
I didn't get a response.
Once CC pulled up. Ace and I got in and she started driving without a word. I sat in the back with ace. He was crying, which made me cry. I reached over and grabbed his hand. I didn't let go
CC was going 90 on the highway. We didn't mjnt until her tires slid from the rain.
We couldn't see anything. I didn't have my seatbeld on, and neither did Ace.
He reached over and put my seat belt on and held my hand again, Before...