I hate you. || woosan ||

|| part 37 ||

Author pov:
The following morning went slow.

The Choi family slept in on Christmas Day, probably recovering from that one glass of wine or beer that crossed the line of drunkenness.

In contrast to that, there was San and Wooyoung's morning. Wooyoung woke up to the smell of San surrounding him fully. Not only his smell, but also San's arms surrounded him. His head was tucked under San's chin and his arms were wrapped around him. pulling Wooyoung impossibly closer. Wooyoung felt San's hands slide up under his shirt (well- technically San's shirt) before his thumb started rubbing soothing circles on his back, telling Wooyoung that San was awake. Wooyoung pushed one of his legs between San's to try and be even closer to him.

"Good morning, baby..." Wooyoung heard a low husky voice say. He couldn't help but smile against San's skin. The pet name immediately made his stomach fuzzy with warmth.

"Good morning..." he whispered against San's bare chest. Wooyoung felt one of San's hands slide out of his shirt before San lifted his chin up with his fingers. Wooyoung's eyes slowly fluttered open, his long lashes fanning out over his delicate skin.

"Did you sleep well?" San asked with his voice thick of sleep as he placed a gentle kiss on Wooyoung's nose. Wooyoung nodded lazily, smiling at the affection.

"I did... what about you?" He answered, his voice rough with sleep. He propped himself up on his elbows. His black hair was a sleepy mess, cascading over his face chaotically.

San didn't answer immediately he turned on his back and looked at the white ceiling of his bedroom, before looking at Wooyoung. His smile came a little late.

"Yeah, I slept okay." He said lowly.

It wasn't a lie, but it wasn't the whole truth either.

He had slept- only in pieces.
Sleep came in shallow stretches. Each time San closed his eyes for a second too long, something would enter his mind and pull him right out of his slumber.

The thought of having to sit at the dinner table with his family for breakfast was eating away at him. The small talk. The comments. What if they found out?

Then you had Seongwha.

Alone in his dorm room. No Christmas lights. No noise, besides maybe his own tears. Nobody to sit next to. San could picture it too clearly- the unmade bed, half drawn curtain, messy clothes. He had promised he would immediately visit him after he came back from Christmas, as if that would make anything better.

Another thought that kept him up, but he didn't want to admit to, was yesterday night.

The way Wooyoung had looked at him. the words he'd said- that he couldn't take back even if he tried. There was no going back anymore. No more pretending there wasn't any tension or something unspoken.

He had gotten what he wanted, so why did it seem to haunt him?

"I'm glad." Wooyoung whispered before leaning down and placing a kiss on his cheek. San's gaze went back to the ceiling, while Wooyoung's focused on him. Taking in every single detail. His tall nose. Sharp, dark eyes. The plush lips he adores so much. Each small mole on his face and neck.

A comfortable silence settled between the two.

Eventually San sat up in his bed.
"I think I'm going to wash up really quick." San said, his voice already clearing up a little. He didn't immediately get up, like he was thinking again. Just like he did all night.

"I'm coming too." Wooyoung says softly. San's gaze snaps towards him. Right, this is normal now.

"What? To save water of course, good for the environment." Wooyoung's adds, easing the sudden tension. San smiled and chuckled. He got up, making the bed creak. He walked over to his dresser to grab fresh clothes and walked into his bathroom, leaving the door open for Wooyoung to follow.