I hate you. || woosan ||

|| part 38 ||

Yeosang pov:

After I had helped the Choi's clean up late at night after Christmas Eve, I went to bed. I walked to sunhee's room as was expected of me. As I reached for the doorknob of her room, my eyes fell on jongho's room. My heart ached. I stumbled, the expensive champagne of the night slowly getting to me.

I shook my head, trying to wipe my guilt and feelings towards jongho from my head. I was the one who fucked up after all. I sighed and entered sunhee's room. I saw her laying in her large bed, already fast asleep. I walked into her bathroom and got dressed into my pyjamas.

Since it's winter I wear a pair of shorts under my sleep tshirt. I pulled the shorts over my ass and stumbled, making me trip on the hard tiles of her bathroom floor. I hissed at the pain and slowly sat back up. I felt my head spin. I wasn't drunk, but I wasn't sober either.

I got back up to brush my teeth. I squirted a little toothpaste on my toothbrush and started brushing my teeth while inspecting myself in the mirror. My mind started wandering.

It wandered to how I laughed and chatted with jongho as if nothing happened. I hated it. Each time I looked at him I felt a little piece of my heart break.

It wandered to how beautiful he looked under all the warm Christmas lights.

It wandered to how we were before I fucked it up. If I could, I would go back in time and explain everything better. Fuck, I'd even talk with him longer! I was just so upset with myself for hurting jongho that our argument ended way worse than it should've.

Then I got an idea. Why don't I go see him now? His parents, Sunhee... they're all asleep.

Before my brain could fully comprehend what I was doing, I fixed my hair and put on lipgloss. I tiptoed across sunhee's room and exited it as stealthy as possible. I tiptoed through the hallway until I reached jongho's room. I reached out to his doorknob before I hesitated and froze.

Why am I not thinking things through!? This will end terribly. Jongho is still angry and... he probably hates me. This won't solve anything, but I love him to much to not try.

I stood outside his door for a good minute before I gently knocked. After a little while I heard rustling and then muffled footsteps. Then the door opened and revealed jongho with messy hair, no shirt, only a pair of plaited pyjama pants.

He looked me up and down before speaking lowly. "Go to bed." He spoke with disdain and honestly I deserved that.

I swallowed my fears and looked him straight in his eyes. "Can we talk?" It didn't sound as stable as I wanted it to. My voice was full of hope, and fear. Jongho just looked at me for a minute before sighing and stepping aside, letting me in.

I walked in his room and immediately felt a heavy tension between us.

"Sit." Jongho rasped as he sat down on his bed. It sat down at the other side of the bed and accidentally let my eyes wander over his chest. God damn. I bet I turned red as a beet. Or I already was red as a beet, that's how I get after alcohol.

Judging from the scent lingering in jongho's sheets, he also drank.

"So? Speak." Jongho said with his voice laced with annoyance. I would be lying if I said his tone didn't make me feel hurt, but I deserved it.

"I-I know I hurt you... but what's really killing me is that I became a person who can hurt you. I-I don't want to be that person." I muttered. My throat felt tight, like I had to fight my own body to get the words out.

Jongho didn't even meet my eyes as I spoke.

"Well, if you didn't want to become that person, maybe you shouldn't have slept with my brother." I snarled. That hit right where it hurt. But he had all the right to be angry.