a/n - YALL READY FOR THIS ONE?!
It takes me a long time to realize that he's still waiting for an answer. My heart feels like it skips and trips over itself at the same time. My mouth opens before my brain finishes its thought.
"Yes." I take a quick breath, flicking between his eyes. "Yes, please."
"So polite." Alexander moves slowly. So slowly I almost don't realize what's happening until his hand comes up, stopping just short of my jaw, waiting again. When I don't pull away, he touches me — gentle, warm — his thumb resting lightly near my ear like it's there to steady me as much as him. "Always so good, aren't you?"
"I-I guess."
He smiles, holding my jaw now. "Darling, tell me if anything feels bad, okay?"
I almost laughed. How could anything possibly feel bad right now?
He leans in, just enough that I feel his breath first, warm against my upper lip, and then his mouth brushes mine. It's soft. Barely there. Like he's asking a question with it.
I freeze, startled, and he feels it immediately. He pulls back a fraction.
"Breathe," he says quietly. I do exactly as he says, my eyes never leaving his.
The second kiss is different. Slower. Firmer. Still careful. His mouth moves against mine in a way that feels deliberate, like he's showing me something instead of taking it. I follow him instinctively, clumsy and unsure, my hands gripping his sweater again, harder than I ever was before.
My stomach flips. Hard. Something warm and dizzy blooms behind my ribs and spreads downward in a way I've never felt before. It makes my knees weak, my thoughts fuzzy, my whole body lean toward him like it's seeking more gravity.
He breaks the kiss gently, forehead resting against mine.
"You're doing so good, Ellie," he whispers.
I swallow. My voice comes out breathless. "Alexander... do friends kiss?"
He pulls back just enough to look at me. His expression doesn't change — still calm, still kind — but something sharpens underneath it.
"No," he says softly. "Friends don't kiss."
"Oh."
If we aren't friends, then what are we supposed to be? I wish there was a rule book somewhere for this. I'd flip to the page about professors, that would probably help me a lot right now. Do you think professors kiss in a different way than other people? I wonder if swimmers kiss harder or softer!
Not...Not that that's important or anything.
"So..." I hesitate, then force myself to keep going. "What does that mean."
"It means," he says carefully, "that I have stronger feelings for you than I would a friend."
My chest tightens.
"Do you want to be friends," he continues, "or do you also have stronger feelings."
I frown, trying to untangle myself from the way my body still feels like it's humming.
"I don't know," I admit. "I just— I want to be around you all the time. And when I talk to you, I get this... fluttery feeling. In my stomach. And my heart. And I think my brain." I huff out a nervous breath. "I feel like I go a little dumb. But not bad dumb. Just... good. And nervous. But good."
He doesn't interrupt me, just plays with the flour that's still coveting both of our faces. "I feel the same way," he says.
Something in me lifts. Then I frown.
YOU ARE READING
Control
Romance"Just let me take care of you," Alexander says as his hand moves across my thigh, his legs holding me in place on the couch. "I can't, it's too much-" I go to move his hand, but another set of hands stop mine. The rings and veins make it obvious wh...
