Brown Eyes :: Phanfiction

Long Way Down ; Chapter Fifteen

A/N: sorry that the song is a cover it's the only link working for some reason and she's pretty good so idk sorry

Phil was having a break down. He couldn't take it, how he loved a guy that couldn't ever feel the same way. How he was worthless to the world, and he didn't belong.

The nurses came rushing in, seeing Phil balled up in the bed, rocking back and forth and sobbing, looking into the distance.

Only it wasn't the nothingness captured in Phil's eyes, it was much more dangerous.

The shiny and sharp blades and tools on the counter, and all he wanted to do was grab them, and cut his skin until he could feel the relief of finally escaping the meaningless world.

Phil thought of himself as a limp soul, lurking on the ground, waiting to leave. Almost as if he were trapped and didn't belong anywhere except buried in his grave.

Dan laid alone in his room, staring up at his ceiling with tears streaming down his face slowly, making his vision blurry. He couldn't think straight. What Chris said about Alli couldn't have been true, could it?

No, she wouldn't bully them, he knew her, he loved her. She wouldn't do that.

But either way, Dan couldn't push his feelings from Phil.

Dan could be staring at Allison for hours, admiring the glow of her beautiful face, and then see Phil in his mind, and want nothing but to kiss his soft, warm lips. He almost felt homesick without them.

Dan looked over at a drawer, the drawer. The one with all of his razors, and he slowly got up and wiped his tears before pulling it open.

"Dan, you need to stop crying." he whispered to himself, almost going slightly angry that he couldn't control his emotions. "Stop."

He wiped his tears, frustrated, and he picked up the blade, and held it to his delicate wrists.

//

Dan gained awareness, sitting in his chair as deep, bloody scars littered his arms and some on his upper thighs. He buried his face in his hands, his elbows resting on his desk, and let tears stream down his face like a waterfall.

He stood up and started pacing his room, letting occasional blood drip to his floors along with the tears rapidly flowing down his face. He wiped his nose with the back of his and looked at his other one, the one that Phil held, Phil. Was he hurt by Dan's abandonment. Did he care?

Dan fell to the ground and sat up, his knees close to his chest as he rocked back and forth whispering softly to himself "It's all my fault."

He couldn't take it anymore, after ten minutes, he got up and threw the framed picture of him and Allison to the ground, leaving the glass shattering around it, he couldn't believe it, he did it. He grabbed the sims game holder, the only thing he shared with phil, and tossed it to the wall, watching it fall to the ground as the casing received a crack in the corner.

Dan wiped the cuts on his wrist, so the blood wouldn't stain the long sleeved shirt he was putting on. Before running out the door and getting in his car.

He wiped his tears over and over, ready to end it with someone he loved. He couldn't do it anymore.

He got out of his car the in lot with many others, some more expensive than others, but then he broke down again and got back in. He look at his phone, and saw a picture of Phil when he opened it, his wallpaper, since Allison was his lockscreen. He would have to change one of them soon.

He deleted his picture of Allison, and then the one of Phil, wiping away what seemed like the endless stream of tears that were still coming out, he gave it to himself to take a nap, despite the inconvenient placing he was in.

Phil sat in a room, with nothing. White walls, white floor, white ceiling, white bed and white tables.

"Why would I choose you, over her?" Dan creeped in with Allison, somehow. There were no white doors in sight. "Look at her, she's beautiful. There are no scars on her body, like on yours you emo faggot. And to think, you actually believed I loved you? How pathetic." dan chuckled and Allison did the same.

"Who would want you, over me?" she whispered, kneeling by Phil's bed, before giving him a punch to the face, but Phil was tied down, he couldn't move.

"Who would ever love you, knowing how beautiful other people are? Knowing how useless you are?" Dan said, as Allison continued to beat him up. "There's no use for you, but killing you would just be doing you a favor."

Dan looked at Allison and smiled, grabbing her waist and kissing her passionately in front of Phil as tears poured from his eyes.

Dan released the kiss and sauntered over to Phil, "but not killing you would be a mistake for the rest of us." He said, pulling out a gun and pointing it at Phil's head.

Phil's body shot up, and he was back in the normal room. Part of him knew it was a nightmare, but it felt real somehow.

Dan's mother wheeled her chair over with a plastic cup full of water, "here sweetie, drink this, the sleeping medicine could've made you dehydrated."

Phil took the cup and chugged it down, and then bravely closed his eyes and went back to sleep, knowing that there would be yet another nightmare.

Dan woke up, and walked to the door, opening it and not caring. A younger girl in white greeted him.

"I know what you're here for you, I've heard, follow me to the room." she said, even though Dan knew perfectly where it was. He opened the door and saw them sleeping in the bed, looking beautiful, completely unaware that Dan was about to end everything they ever had, no matter how much love he had for them, no matter how many good times they shared, their day in the sun had come to an end.

Waking them up was hard, he had to shake them a bit, but when they saw Dan's face they smiled before seeing slight tears welled up in Dan's eyes.

"Dan, what's wrong?"

"We need to talk."

Okay so that was fun, sorry I'm literally the worst ever at updating, and sorry if this isn't a good chapter.

I'm sure like all of you know who he's with and I'm sorry if you don't know and actually care.

Anyways, have a great day and sorry again for the fact that their school year like just ended and mine is a couple days from starting. It's not exactly accurate.

Love always,
Mary