𝐉𝐞𝐧𝐧𝐚 𝐎𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐠𝐚 // 𝙸𝙼𝙰𝙶𝙸𝙽𝙴𝚂

' coming out '

The apartment were sunbathed as usual. You could smell the warmth, the flowers standing tall in their pots decorating the windows, they had been there for a while, and no one had touched them, as usual. No one were in the kitchen, after all, it's not past 10 AM yet. Neither y/n or Jenna come into the kitchen before then. Which makes everything at peace. Everything is just like it's supposed to be. Perfect.

Or, well. Not everything is as it should be. Tears run down a certain brunette's cheeks. Thoughts are flooding her head about specific y/h/c hair, and the soft texture of it. She can't get the desire to taste a certain pair of lips out of her hair and she can't help but think of what it would be like to hold her hand. Her roommate. Y/n y/l/n.
Because Jenna Ortega, in love with a girl?
And not just any girl,
but her best friend and roommate. How could she possibly be so stupid?

She could've fallen for anyone else. Literally anyone. That stupid guy from set, who always come by her trailer in the morning to give her a croissant filled with brie and jam, her favorite. Or the guy that lives across from them who doesn't even recognize her for being famous, but for always taking out the trash at the same time as him. 9 PM sharp.
She could've fallen for any other GUY. But here she is, surrounded by intimate thoughts about her best friend and roommate. How will she ever be able to think of her the same way as she did before?

Her stomach gnaws as the thought of her coming out to y/n makes itself known. Jenna quickly buries her face in her hands and muffles a scream. Y/n isn't home, luckily. Ortega herself has a day off, unfortunate considering the fact that she's now completely left alone with her thoughts.

She has no idea for how long she's been in love with y/l/n. It weren't until last night, when the butterflies in her stomach had made a visit while the two roommates were playfighting on the sofa that the brunette realised that the admiration she had towards the y/h/c girl were a bit more than platonic.

Jenna looked around, her tears subtly dried on her cheeks, marks of despair and denial left on her body, only to find the bedsheets crumbled with y/n's nightgown left behind on the bed. She quitely got up, the floor cold against her bare feet, before leaving to enter the kitchen. 9:34 AM. Out of the ordinary. Everything was out of the ordinary today. Jenna sighed to herself and wondered if anything would ever be the same again. She had researched before, bisexuality did sound a lot like her. She could still fancy a man. But that does not mean that's what she's usually doing. Right now, she only fancies one person. And that person is a girl.

Jenna throws her head back and groans. More tears running down her face, smearing her nivea moisturiser on her face. It feels uncomfortable, the mix of sweet and salt on her skin could be compared to her feelings right now.
She wanted to hold y/n, she wanted to greet her with a kiss each day when she came home from work, or the grocery store or after a girl's night out. Jenna wanted to be the one to hold her hair back when she threw up over the toiled from too much tequila, or from literally anything else because it didn't matter. She wanted her whole body and soul to belong to her roommate. But would she accept it?

Jenna made a bowl of yoghurt while the thoughts clouded her. She was going to tell her. She had to. As soon as possible because this drove her absolutely insane. Nuts. She were about to lose her mind. And it wasn't like she just now caught feelings for y/n, they had most certainly always been there, but Jenna had came to the realisation just now and it sucked, because she just happened to crave y/n right fucking now. She yearned for her to come home because she had to get all of these feelings out of her system, she had to be held she had to tell her and oh god.

What on earth could she do? She happened to know that her friend came home pretty damn late on thursdays. Why today? Why did she have to think lesbian thoughts and suffer on a thursday? If it were yesterday she would've been free from 2PM. Now she has to wait until 4:30.

An hour passed. The thoughts did not leave. The cloudy sky didn't clear up with time, no, they increased in amount and ate her alive. She were going to come out at 4:30PM and possibly lose her best friend in the world. Does this only happen to the best? Jenna had eaten more than she usually does today. She just had to distract herself and there were no distractions.

Silence.

Maybe there were distractions. It was currently 2:17PM and Jenna just realised she had an eye for writing. If she could just confess without having someone to confess to, if she could practice and at the same time get her never ending thoughts scribbled down on paper, maybe that would help. She grabbed one of her notebooks for work, ripped out a page and opened the drawer where y/n kept her pens. Woah, she has a damn collection of pens. How many more have she bought since I last checked?

She stood by the kitchen counter, too eager to get her thoughts on paper to even care to sit down, before her brain signalled to her hand to write. And she wrote.

Dear y/n.

I have no clue om how I should tell you this. My mind has been spinning all night and all day and it still is. You're my best friend, and you always will be and therefor you deserve all of my honesty and more. Y/n, I have grown to like you, not like I did before. Not like 'sharing each other's secrets, talking about boys and drinking together', no, I mean more like a different kind of like. Admiration, but a little less platonic and a little more romantic. It makes no sense to me and I totally respect if it doesn't make sense to you. We can laugh about this later, y/n. I'm very vulernable right now and my thoughts keeps spinning and spinning and I don't know what to say anymore so I guess this is it. I love you til' my last breath, mi sol. Eugh that's cheesy I'll scribble over that later.

Jenna

Jenna's eyes fixated on the letter, focused a little longer than they should've. And maybe that's why her vision got blurry. Maybe that's why tears made her cheeks wet and maybe that's why the paper with all of her thoughts on it got wet.

She decided to go to bed. It's 4:06AM and she'd totally  let the thoughts wander for too long. She found herself in a desperate need to reset before y/n came home and there were still some time left for that.
With a slightly easier heart, she went back into the bedroom with y/n's nightgown spread out on the bed, and threw herself under the duvets. Leaving the door open, she let in some fresh air and she totally didn't forget to hide the letter, which now let any eyes see what's written on her heart. And she totally didn't hear when a pair of keys begun to pick the lock.

To be continued :)