In His Arms (Eminem Fan Fiction) 1 of 2

Chapter 59

I flashed Lelieda the evil eye. In some way, this is her fault for bringing up the topic in the first place. I felt eyes staring at me, confused as to who Richard was, and what the problem is.

"You had to open your fucking mouth, didn't you!" I snapped.

Before I let her say a single word, whether to say sorry or to fight me back, I jumped from the couch and hurried to the back room where Marshall ran to.

All the way there I heard whispers, and my heart pounding. This anger, and this guilt, all building up inside me and I was about to explode. I was almost running to the door, but the moment I got there, I stopped. My breath was heavy, and my throat hurt. Tears built up, but I didn't have a right to cry.

I opened the door slowly. I turned my head, and Marshall was leaning against the wall, one knee up and staring at the floor. I shut the door behind me. He stayed staring at the floor, not acknowledging my presence.

"Marshall-"

"Who is Richard, and why would he need to know about the miscarriage?" he spat, cutting me off.

I took a deep breath and a few steps closer to him. The guilt is giving me a headache, and it's time to release this monster that started the web of lies.

"Well, do you remember that night at the bar? When you had to beat that guy up?" I started, playing with my thumbs so I don't have to look at him.

"Ya? So what of it?" he replied. I knew he was looking at me now. My mind has a censor for when his eyes are on me. But I don't need a censor to know his eyes weren't soft.

"Um, me and him did end up....you know," I continued. My head bobbed around at the end of the sentence. I couldn't physically say "we had sex" but I knew he understood what I was trying to say.

"So you lied to me? Cause I distinctly remember you saying nothing happened," he pointed out, turning towards me. His arms crossed, and leaning sideways against the wall.

I nodded a yes. I was still looking down, trying everything to not cry. I'm not the victim here, but I'm sure as hell the reason Marshall is.

"You didn't, like, give him permission right?" he asked. His voice was shaking, and it was a sound I didn't ever want to hear.

A single tear escaped from my eyes. I didn't bother trying to wipe it away.

"There wasn't consent-," he started.

I made fists, digging my nails into my palms hard. It hurt like hell, but I deserve it.

"-right?" he continued, his voice cracking.

I didn't need to look to know he was teary eyed, maybe even crying. The way his voice cracked when he said that just showed me how much pain I caused just by trying to spare his feelings. I looked up slightly, and I saw his hand over his eye, wiping something away. Most likely tears. This is the first time I've ever seen him cry, but it's because of me.

"Babe, please don't tell me you allowed it to happen," he whispered, his voice shaking like it was on a tightrope.

Another tear dropped from my eye. I sniffed in, and I replied "I..did," I choked at the end.

He took a step away from me, his hands behind his neck. "Yep, of course you did," he mumbled basically to himself, before storming out of the backroom.

I should quit my job. I'm sure there is some place in this world where I can get paid for fucking things up, because I'm amazing at that. I wiped my eyes again, and but wasn't going to break down. I still had to chase after Marshall. Even if he hates my guts right now, there's still something in me telling me to go after him.

I fanned my eyes to try and dry them up, and walked out of that room. While walking, I saw everyone staring at me.

"What the hell did you do?" said Rachel, almost disgusted.

"None of your fucking buisness!" I exclaimed,"Did he leave the house?" I asked.

"Ya he did, but you should leave him alone," Lelieda said, staring up at me.

In rage, my fists clenched tightly, I responded,"I'll go after him if I want to! This is your fault anyway!"

She pointed to herself, and gasped "My fault? You're the one who kept this secret from him, and lied about it for the past four-fucking-months!"

I rolled my eyes,"Yea maybe, but you have no right to bring it up! If you would've kept the mouth of yours shut for once, none of this would have happened!"

I left her at that. I can't turn everything on her, cause I am the one who lied to him. But still, none of this was her concern, and her randomly bringing up the topic doesn't help much.

Opening the door, I ran outside and slammed it shut. The streets were quite empty, so it was easy to spot Marshall. He was just doing the same thing he was in the backroom, except against an alleyway wall that was right near Chelsea's house. Alongside leaning on the wall, he was constantly rubbing his eyes. What have I done?

Hurriedly, I rushed off the porch and over to him. I may not be able to make things right, but I sure as hell can try.

He caught a glimpse of me, but looked away as soon as I was close enough for me to speak to him.

"What do you want now?" he said, looking down again at the concrete.

My feet shuffled, because I didn't quite know what to say. I didn't prepare something, I just ran out here.

"Marshall, you don't know how sorry I am-" I paused. He wouldn't look at me, but at everything else. His eyes were teary and almost red.

"Sorry isn't enough Daya. You made me believe this baby was going to be mine, you lied to me about what happened that night, and yet after all this you still don't even tell me about it?" he snapped. "And you think sorry will fix it?!"

He was staring at me with cold eyes. The breeze suddenly picked up speed, causeing a shiver to go down my back. "These weren't my intentions. I just didn't want to hurt you!"

"Too late," he said.

His arms were crossed and was trying his hardest not to cry. As for me, I let my face get as wet as it wanted to. It didn't matter.

"Marshall, I love you more than anything in the world, you know that," I said, taking a step towards him.

We were close, but he still wouldn't dare look back up at me.

"I love you too Daya. But this has gone too far,"

He gave a small sniffle, and tried to hide his teary eyes. My heart was pounding harder, and I swear it was about to give up on me

"What are you saying?" I asked, his image getting blurry. Only because more tears bulit up. I knew where he was going, but I couldn't handle it.

"Daya, you may have been the best woman I've ever met. I love you, and I wanted to marry you. But after this, can I trust you?" he started.

"I think we need-" he paused, choking on his words. His hand went back up to his eyes, and he held them at his inner tearduct.

My knees were buckling, my shoulder's were shuttering, and my hands were trembling. Please don't say it.

"I need a break, Daya," he managed to say, but not without turning away.

I never wanted to see him cry like that. It wasn't sobbing, and it was quite, but seeing his shoulder tremble as he tried to hide it broke me inside and out.

I understood. My attention directed to the ring on my finger. The ring I fell in love with, that I always wanted to wear because it was a gift from him.

"I'm sorry," I said, sniffling in one more time.

I took the ring off my finger. I took Marshall's hand that was hanging at his side, and I returned it to his hand. His foggy blue eyes stared up at me, and I stared back.

Voice cracking, Marshall whispered,"Me too,"