Daughter of Mayhem

Goodbyes

     The funeral was small it only consisted of the crew and a few of the Sons. I kept looking up at the casket I knew was empty. I wanted to go up there say my goodbyes like most people did but what was the point really. He was dead and I highly doubted if he was watching us from the great beyond he would be at his funeral. That would just be morbid. "Arman was one of the kindest men I ever knew," Hope said nervously biting her lip,"He was always there to offer kind words and help you whenever you needed. It didn't matter what he was going through in his life he would put it on hold for you. I can't believe that I'll never see that famous smile of his again. Oh boy did he have a smile though. I think that's what most noticed first about him. You couldn't see him smile without smiling too. He had one those smiles that warmed your heart every time you saw it. That man was always helping someone too. If it was him helping one of his friends then it was him doing mission trips to Africa. He was always offering a helping hand. I can remember one time Arman gathered us all up on Thanksgiving and took us downtown. He had told us it was a surprise but the reward was great. Much to all our surprises he had brought us down to the homeless shelter so we could help pass out meals. He taught me that day that sometimes you just do stuff and the only reward you get were smiles. I learned that day also that the smiles were greater then gold. I'm going miss him but I know I'll see him again." Hope walked away from the podium into Joey's arm. I watched as he held her in his arms as she cried. Then I heard Jax whisper,"Your turn." I stand up from my seat and smoothen my dress before walking up to the podium. I adjusted the microphone before saying,"You know as sad as this situation is I can't seem to think of Arman without smiling. There was a point he was my roommate and if he came home while I was doing my stress cooking thing he would walk over to the stereo put some music on. Then drag me out of the kitchen doing the twist or whatever dance he had decided to do at the time. That man has made me laugh more then anyone in my life. There was a time I was sad and he came through the house in drag singing Spice Girls songs. Though there were some points it kind of worried me he knew all those songs by heart." Everyone chuckled at the image of Arman in drag singing Spice Girls. "I'm going definitely miss him," I say looking up at the crowd,"Though I have this feeling he will be here with Zach watching over us. So this isn't really a good bye because he will be here making sure we stay happy." I stepped away from the podium to take my seat. Jax grabbed my hand as I took my seat and I smiled up to him.

After the burial Sarah had come up to me and grabbed the extra helmet then asked me to ride. We had just stopped after hours of driving when Sarah had asked me to pull over. She climbed off the back of my bike and unsnapped the helmet to sit it on the bike. I watched as she set down on the guardrail in silence. We sat there looking at the dessert as the sunset in the distance. We were quiet for several minutes before she says,"I've never seen a sunset." "Never," I ask not believing it could be possible for a woman to of never seen a sunset at the age of 27. "Always seemed like I was having to do something for someone else," she says still staring out in front of her,"Or my life was so chaotic to worry about a sunset. Then it became a symbol I held onto. I knew the day I finally saw a sunset would be the day I found my happiness again." I wrap my arm around her as we she snuggles into my arm. "I never thought that on the day I realized I found my happiness it would be on the day of my best friend's funeral or I would be wearing this cut when I found it," she tells me leaning to kiss my cheek. "Life has away of throwing us curve balls darling," I tell her a second before it starts raining. Sarah begins to laugh as she jumps up and runs towards the road. She stopped and looked both ways before jumping into the road. She laughed more as she spun in circles in the road. The rain was running down her body flinging from the bottom of her skirt as she spun. She laughed and looked back at me smiling. The sun rays hit her  just right that there appeared to be a glow surrounding her making her look like the angel she was. "Play with me in the rain," she ask smiling at me. I walk towards her but I stop in my tracks as I see something that couldn't possibly be there. I saw standing directly behind Sarah two figures that appeared to be Zach and Arman. "What," Sarah ask me looking to where I had been staring. I looked back to where I saw them but when I did nothing was there. "Nothing just the light casting a shadow," I tell her walking forward towards her. As I reached her I spun her and dipped her before leaning down to kiss her lips. She giggled up at me before she says,"I love you Jackson." "Well I love you to darling," I told her as I continued to slow dance with her in the middle of the road while it poured rain. Then I saw them again and I knew it wasn't in my head then. They really were watching over their family from the other side.

We pulled up to the club and it was still pouring rain. I shivered as I climbed off the back off the bike. "Let's get into something dry darling," Jax tells me as he wraps me into his arms and rubs his hands up and down me trying to warm me. "Let's," I say looking at him smiling. We walked inside hand in hand but I stopped in my tracks as I saw all the luggage scattered around the club. "What's all this," I ask as Joey walks in with more suitcases. "That woman packs way to much," Joey says sitting down the suitcase,"That's what this is." "Your leaving already," I ask. I was a little scared to be without my crew. Even though this afternoon was good and I felt like I was healing I started wondering what if I wasn't and if I wasn't then I needed Joey. Joey had never left me in situations like this and as much as I hated to admit it. I was kind of scared to go through it without him. "We leave in a few hours," Joey says facing me. "What if I need you," I ask my lip quivering while I do. I notice Jax tense up in the corner and it almost seems he is jealous. Though he couldn't be he knew there wasn't feelings on either side. "I'm a phone call away," Joey says stepping towards me. I stepped away from him as he tried to reach for me. "Sometimes a phone call away is to late," I say before leaving the room. I walked down the hallway to the bedroom and slammed the door behind me. I turned to lock the door before anyone could try to follow me.

      "I forgot how infuriating her door locking could be," I tell Joey facing the locked door. "She does have a way of locking people out literally and figuratively," Joey says leaning against the wall in front of my bedroom door. "So do you know what that was all about," I ask him while turning to face him. He rubs his forehead and says,"She is scared." "I'm here," I tell him trying to not let my jealousy show. "Did she tell you about the night she stabbed her ex husband," he ask me. "Yeah but not much," I say unsure where he is going with this. "Luke use to be a part of my crew," Joey admits,"I found out one day by Hope that he had been hitting Sarah. So I went to there house to kick his ass and take Sarah out of there. Though when I got there the front door was cracked so I just went in. Sarah was standing in the living room over Luke with a bloody butcher knife. I thought she had killed him but I found out at trail she hadn't. You see when I saw her there like that I wrote a note to Hope explaining everything and asking for her to give Sarah an alibi. I told Sarah to take Serenity and not to look back. I took the fall for her that night and went to prison to protect her. Then the night our former crew member stabbed her in the back I was the one there. I was the one who cut his throat to protect her. I was the one who held my fingers in the stab wound while driving her twenty miles to the hospital that night. If I hadn't been there she would be dead. When we were wanted on the run she was pregnant and right as we were about to go out to do the heist the cops stormed the warehouse. I made her run and I stayed standing in the path she took. I took down every man that tried to follow her. I ended up getting my ass handed to me but my crew got me back before I could board the plane. There are a few other times I can remember doing this same thing for her. So you see for the last four years I've been her protector until this last time. She still sees me as that person who protected her all those times. Though give her time Jax and I'll no longer be her protector but you will." The man turned to walk away with his head lowered obviously sad but before he can I say,"You will always be her protector. She just may gain more but she loves you Joey. You know she told me that she automatically expected me to accept you without even asking. Your her best friend and I know you stay because you care but also cause your in love with her. So best friend isn't exactly where you want to be but she needs you man. This life with this cut isn't easy so she is really going need you. I just hope you don't go far." I watched as the man stared at me silently not seeming to be able to talk or think of anything to say. I walked up and gave him a hug. "Goodbye party at least," I hear Sarah saying making me jump. I hadn't even realized she was standing there let alone that the door even opened. I smile real big at her and say,"Looks like it's party time."