Daughter of Mayhem

The Info

We were sitting at a table inside the club about to eat some ice cream Sarah had dished out for us, when my daughter looked up from her ice cream and smiled at me. "You know you seem nicer then my first dad he wasn't very nice," she says smiling. I look over at her in shock this little girl had away of completely throwing me off. She was defiantly her mother's child. I didn't know what to say to her half the time which was why it made me kind of glad to have Sarah here with us. She kind of played a buffer but right at this moment she was staring sheepishly away. I wondered what she was thinking that made her not able to meet our gazes. Then I recalled the little girl saying her last dad wasn't very nice. "What do you mean your last dad wasn't very nice darling," I ask my curiosity getting the best of me. "Umm Jax," Sarah manages to say before interrupted by Serenity saying,"Well my dad couldn't keep his hands to himself. He was always hitting mom but one night he came after me that's when my mom finally stood up to him. She hit him with a frying pan and stabbed him in leg. She really had no choice he was going for his gun." I stare at the child in disbelief. That's when I realized that's the moment Sarah had changed from the girl who wouldn't hurt a fly to the woman who didn't mind violence. I was angry at the thought of a man touching her but even more so at the thought of another man going after this little girl, my daughter. "What happened to him Sarah," I ask this time directing my question at Sarah. She looked down at the table and then up at the ceiling before finally saying,"He is in Stockton State Prison. The court found him guilty of assault with intent to kill. He got 30 years." I knew then he wouldn't be around much longer we had to much pull in Stockton. I saw Juice walk up with an envelope of papers. "Hey can we talk," Juice ask staring at Sarah and myself. " Hey darling can you run along and find your papa," I say looking at this little girl that had eyes that I suddenly realized were old beyond her years. She smiled at me and hopped off towards the back of the club heading to Chib's room.

I stared down at the table that was suddenly filled with papers of the sign that was branded in me. I felt my chest tightening I remembered this sign but I don't remember where from. As I sat down staring at this sign I blocked everything out. Where had I seen this? Maybe it was a memory I had blacked out from being a child and that's when the memory slammed into me.

Everyone was sleeping in bed when a thump could be heard around the house. I jumped out of my bed running to Zach's room. Hugging onto him I ask"What was that bubby?" He sits up in bed listening when we hear the pounding of foot steps. Our father burst into the room sweeping us up in his arm and takes off running towards his room. We reach his room when he sits us down and starts unscrewing the screws on the air vent. He looks down at us and says," Zach I need you to take your sister in this air vent and you stay in there until you hear Chibs or your mother. You don't come out for anything and you most stay quiet for the sake of your sister son. Do you understand me?" My brother nodded then crawled in the air vent and reached for me. I crawled in and buried my face in his chest, I was scared. I watched as my dad put the vent back on and walked out into the hallway. "I'm scared," I whisper up to my brother who puts his finger over his mouth signing me to not talk. He wraps his arms around me and I pray that my daddy will be ok. I hear the sudden sound of rapid gun fire and I jump. That's when my brother starts running his hand through my hair like momma did. I heard the sounds of foot steps and looked up through the air vent at the large boots coming through the room. I looked up as they got closer I noticed some had matching tattoos on their legs. Then I looked up at the faces those were the men daddy met with other day they were Chinese but Irish at the same time.

I snapped up out of the memory to see Jax, Joey, Juice, and Zach all staring at me with worry. Jax approaches me and ask, " Darling are you ok?" I burst out, "I remember. I remember it all. I remember the night my dad was murdered. It was the Chinese Irish men and that's their symbol. It was on one of the men's legs that murdered him." I stare around at all the shocked faces waiting for someone to say something. "I guess we know where to start," Juice says with a nervous laugh. Joey walks to my side giving my shoulder a gentle squeeze. I look up into him taking comfort from those deep brown eyes like I had so many times in past. This guy was absolutely my best friend. I look back across the room and asked,"So where do we start?" "I say we start with Belfast right," Juice says, "I can make the call. "No I'll make the call," Jax says I know because of what I told him earlier. I see everyone agree to this but I have this bad feeling I don't know what the club would do if they knew or even if anyone in this charter knew. I deliberately left out the part of my memory of seeing the former president of the Belfast charter. I stood up looking around the table and say, "Well I'm going shower. Gemma brought some clothes for me to change but tonight when it's dark I need to go to my house get some stuff." "Not alone please," Jax pleads. I nod my head in agreement as I turn around and walk down the hallway to Jax's room. As I step in I sink to my knees in front of the door and the tears immediately start falling from my eyes. I had never remembered anything that had happened that night until now. There was blood on their shoes I remembered. Fuck blood hadn't affected me in years I've seen so much death it barely fazed me now. I've never taken a life I've refused to. I took up self defense classes after stabbing my ex. I never wanted someone else's blood on my hands but I saw my share of death by others. After all not everyone has a rule of not killing but I couldn't. I lift myself off the floor pulling myself together and walking towards the bathroom. I stepped inside the bathroom and started the shower. I took a long look in the mirror looking at my swollen cheek, the bruising, and my split lip. I turn around sliding the shirt up over my head and throwing it to the ground. I grab my hair and throw it over the front of me so I can see my back. Turning around I can't believe my eyes I knew it hurt but holy hell my back is covered in welts, bruises and cuts from the strikes they gave me with the belts and sticks. Though even worse was the message carved in my back that was red and purple with fresh blood covering it. I knew these definitely needed cleaned and for that I knew I would need help. I turned the shower a little cooler before stepping in knowing it would hurt every last part of my body that hot. I stepped in and felt the sting even with it cool. I clung to that shower I always found showers soothing. I placed my hands against the wall leaning my head under the shower letting the water wash over me and wash their touch from my body forever.