Doctor, Doctor (A Joult and Joshifer Story)

Chapter 37

*PRESENT*
Josh POV

"P-pregnant?" I stutter.

Jen sighs and looks away. I see tears falling into her cheek.

"I didn't mean it like that Jen," I say turing her head so she's looking at me again.

"I know," Jen whispers. She sighs and holds me tighter.

Wait... Who's baby is it? I mean it can't be mine... We used protection. But why else would she ask me to stay? I sigh and look Jen in the eye again. "Who's is it?"

"Yours you fat idiot!" She screams. Tears stream down her face but this time their not silent.

I sigh and hold back my own tears. How can I  screw up her life even more? Shes already gone through hell and back and here I am making it worse! I feel like leaving but I know I can't. She needs me. She made me promise. She told me she needs me. I snuggle closer to Jen and wrap my arms around her small body. "I'm so sorry," I whisper to her hair.

"It's not entirely your fault," she whispers back.

I fake a small laugh and she does the same. This can't be happening.

•~•

"I'll give you some time to think about it," Nick says as he closes his folder.

Josh gives my hand a reassuring squeeze. How can I choose? I can't make that decision. Choose if a baby lives or dies... I can't even choose a boyfriend!

Nick says goodbye then leaves.

"You okay?" Josh asks. He strokes my hand gently. It's soothing but I'm not in the mood for soothing right now. I'm not in the mood for anything right now. Right now.... I just want to end my life.

•~•

*JOSH' S POV*
Three weeks later

"Hey what's up?" Ryan takes a seat next to me in the waiting room chairs.

I look at him.

"You look like shit," he laughs.

"I feel like shit," I mumble. My eyes are red and puffy from crying and from the lack of sleep. I have bruises all over me from falling on broken glass.

"Why did you want me to come here?" Ryan says.

"It's about Jen," I begin. His body tenses at her name. He becomes... I don't know... More alert. Something happened between them when I left. And from my understanding they haven't talked in 9 months. At least that's what Abbie told me.

"What about her?" I can hear the worry in his voice. It's annoying how much he cares about her. He's not even her boyfriend. But I'm doing the same and I'm not her boyfriend at the moment either so...

"She's been in the hospital for 4 months now." Ryan's eyes go wide. "She has Orchasterema.  It's a type of cancer. It's in the joint of her right knee." Ryan's face turns red. "That's not the problem," I quickly add. I don't know if it's possible but Ryan looks more worried then he was when I said I needed him to come here immediately. "The first few weeks, when I wasn't here, she refused to take any medicine. Then I came and she finally agreed to take half of them. None of us here can get her to take the other half."

"Not even her parents?" Ryan interrupts.

"Her parents left the second day she was here and they never came back. The only people here are Nick and I." Ryan sighs. "She wouldn't let us tell anyone," I add quickly. Ryan runs his fingers through his hair. "She pregnant Ryan. They went to do chemo and the IV didn't work. Something in her system was off. They ran a few more tests and they found out she was pregnant. Three weeks ago, the day they found out, they said she had to make a choice. She can keep the baby and live with the cancer. She can terminate the baby and continue with cancer treatment. Or continue with cancer treatment, keep the baby, but risk the baby dying during the process. After she got this news, she refused to do anything. I found in the bathroom with a razor once. She stopped after that. She won't take any pills. Won't talk to anyone. Won't eat. Won't do anything. We're all scared. Nick had to put her under to get an IV in her arm to keep her hydrated. After being put under the first time she stopped refusing the IV but when everyone leaves the room she rips it out and then puts it back in before we walk in again."

"So, you brought me here to tell her what to do?" Ryan whispers.

"I brought you here because she will listen to you. She opens up to you Ryan," I begin.

"I don't know if you heard Hollywood, but Jen and I aren't exactly talking right now." Ryan dead pans.

"And I don't know if your heard country boy, but Jen loves you. She loves Nick too. She tells me everything she tells you two. Nothing more. Nothing less."

"That's bullshit!" I whisper harshly. "You and I both know theirs no secrets between you and Jen. You know everything about her and she knows everything about you."

Ryan sighs and looks out the window. "She doesn't want to see me."

"You and I both know that is bullshit too."