Yes, we all exist: fluff and giggles

Music at my fingertips

There's always been this age old question on whether guitar players or keyboard/piano players were better at their craft. And even if one or the other or both parties were good at both that they preferred one over the other. Well as it turns out my brother Dean and his boyfriend Cas are those kinds of people.

People always think that taking a music class is going to be fluff that it's going to be easy. Not when that's your forte and what you study in school. If it was then everything would be easy because math people history people they think what they do is easy. Me I'm a theatre major and happen to be taking a few psychology classes for the fun of it.

Our college wasn't really known for being very big or having a lot of options that would've interested me. I can't really play an instrument I can't read sheet music. I can memorize pretty good and I could take choir if I wanted to but auditioning is the hard part. See when I was younger I was really good at music and I could read sheet music because in grade school we had music as a class like two or three times a week.

Well right before middle school I auditioned for the advanced choir and got in but when I started school it wasn't on my schedule. That was because the school took away a couple classes as both a 7th grader for all new students and there were some classes designed for people like me who struggled in things like reading writing and math that we would need to pass out of to pick another elective and on top of that because of my IEP due to my health issues I'd always had Resource as a class.

I could only pick one other elective and I'd chosen theatre over choir. So at least for 7th and 8th grade I didn't have choir the same kind of thing happened Freshman year of high school. So I didn't have a singing class until Sophomore year. And by then I lost my ability to read the sheet music. I could've taken choir in college but again I'd have to audition for it and the non audition ones were for church choir and I wasn't really into that kind of thing.

So really the only other classes that had any interest to me was psychology. Not that I had many options as a First Year college student anyways. And my advisor wasn't good at his job I only needed to technically take 12 credit hours to be a full time student and taking too many would not be good for me anyways as I was already struggling in the classes I was already taking. And to top it off I was kind of alone.

Sure Dean and Cas were there but they barely notice me when they're hanging out together being all coupley and they're 4 years older than me so they're gonna graduate at the end of the year and Sam is off at some bigger college like Stanford trying to become a lawyer and get into law school. But at least our college isn't that big so it's not like I never see Dean and Cas we just don't cross paths unless it's intentional.

So, they make time for me back at the dorms most of the time. And it was nice you know both the college size and being able to see anyone I wanted whenever I wanted except hard when the only real time I see Dean and Cas is when we make time to see each other while Sam is gone but then there are days like today when they're in a more playful mood.

Both with me and with each other. I just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time and it didn't help that I was already upset about how classes were going. In high school I was always on the Dean's list meaning getting good grades and I had like somewhere between a 3.56 and 3.8 GPA though that wasn't exactly on my own I don't think I'd done that well on my own without my accommodations.

I didn't have any or use them when I started but I quickly learned I needed them because I was pretty much failing right away. But now.... Why was I upset? Well our school had a smallish theatre and if you're a theatre major you have like first pick or like you're priority or whatever for parts but auditioning is still hard and I would still just get parts with no lines or barely on stage or not at all.