Out of control (jjk x bts)

28. The accident.

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"Kookie, they said I was still underperforming," Irene sighed, brushing her hair behind her ear, looking to the ground with a face scrunched up in heartbreak and despair.

Jungkook rubbed her back softly, feeling his heartstrings tug, "me too... it will get better, we just have to-"

"Train harder?" She interrupted, sitting on the curb of the road while they waited for their dad to pick them up. 

Jungkook faltered, bringing his hand back to his chest, sitting beside her, setting his backpack down beside him. "Yeah, what else can we do?"

"I don't know, turn into vampires?" She muttered sarcastically, stuffing her phone into her pocket. 

Jungkook frowned, unzipping his jacket. It was hot outside, and they would likely be waiting in the beaming sun for a while, considering when he called his dad to give them a ride, he was already slurring his words and said he would be coming from the bar. It was normal for them, so Jungkook just rolled his eyes and hung up. 

"I don't think we need to turn into vampires, Irene-" he looked to the pavement of the road, mixing with the sidewalk cement, kicking at some leaves that had bunched up. "We just need to look up to them, see what they are doing, and mimic that-"

"Mimic what a vampire does? Jungkook, you are joking, right?" 

"Well, they are nice, they let us watch them practice, so maybe we can-"

"We just can't keep up, Jungkook!" She stood, causing Jungkook to shrink back, the young preteen feeling the hope drip out of his older sister at every word she spewed. 

"Yes, we can! We just have to push harder, Irene- I-" his voice cracked, "this is our dream- we can do it- we just-"

"Yeah, train harder, I get it," she clenched her fist in frustration as the spring air blew past them, causing her hair to tangle in a flurry. It was extremely windy today, and Jungkook hoped his dad would manage to get there without another incident; he didn't want him crashing into a tree again, or god knows what else. "Jungkook, I don't think it matters how hard we train..." She whispered. 

His heart ached in his chest, swelling with despair, "then what's the point, Irene I- I" he trembled, stuttering his words, "this is all I have..." he gasped out, feeling the familar panic bubble in his throat, "this is all I want," he whispered. 

He had spent years training.

He never made friends, he never had any relationships, he went to school, he trained, and the cycle would repeat. He has so far spent two years of his life doing this, and without a guaranteed debut ever in sight, he still tried, he kept his weight down, he barely ate, he trained at all hours of the night, even when he was supposed to be sleeping.

His parents, his sweet, loving parents, had put all their money into this, into them. If he were honest with himself, he didn't want to even be alive if he couldn't fulfill this dream; it's all he has ever hoped and wanted. His heart felt small, squeezing so hard he couldn't possibly inhale more air, thankful the wind practically forced it into his lungs. 

Irene pulled Jungkook to his feet, "I don't want to get our hopes up anymore..." she whispered, "I'm sorry, Koo-"

Tears brimmed in his eyes, and she wiped them away even if they came in a fury, unwilling to stop. This couldn't be it for him, "I'll do better..." 

She watched him carefully, side eyeing the road as a familar car came closer and closer, "Baby, Kookie, I don't- you are so perfect, I don't think there is doing any better- it's not fair-"