Complete Harmony (Sequel to The Missing Lyric- Nemi)

Chapter 2

Nick

As I drove to the studio, I couldn't stop thinking about the fight I just had with Demi. Never had she put her hands on me during a fight before, so that freaked me out. I also was so afraid of where this fighting was leading us. It seems like that's all we did anymore. Fight or not speak. If we spoke, it eventually turned into an argument & I was probably to blame most of the time. I hated being reminded that Demi & I wanted different things right now. She wanted a baby & I wanted my career. Truth be told, I wasn't sure if I would ever want another child. I wasn't feeling a desire to have one. I did, however feel the pressure to have one & it was making me resentful of anyone who asked me about having a baby. Reporters. My mom. My friends' wives or girlfriends. Demi. Strangers on Twitter. Everywhere, it seemed, I was getting it. I felt like I couldn't get away from it, only making me angry as well as uncomfortable.

I hadn't told Demi that I wasn't sure I wanted anymore kids. I knew if I did, it would break her heart. I also feared that would be the end of us. I knew how bad Demi wanted a baby. She was a girl, after all & many girls had that need to have a baby. Even though, technically, she had one already, she wanted another one. I had to wonder. Did other guys feel this way? Were there guys that weren't sure they wanted a kid or another one, but they have one to please their wives? If so, did they love that child the way they would if they had actually wanted it? I wanted to talk to some guys about this, but I had no idea who to talk to. My dad wanted all of us & as far as I knew, Kevin wanted his kids as well.

As I pulled into the parking lot of the studio, I glanced down at my phone, on the seat beside me, & sighed. I felt so bad for leaving Demi after I spoke so harshly to her. I know she was upset & she had every right to push me. What I told her was pretty upsetting, even to me. I had thought a few times that Demi might get pregnant behind my back, but the thoughts were fleeting. I knew deep down that Demi wouldn't do that. I was trying to be honest with her & I hurt her feelings. I hated hurting her in any way, shape or form. I needed to talk to someone before I hurt her anymore.

I made my way into the studio & Paul greeted me, immediately, sounding excited to be working tonight. "I got the song all cued up man so you can lay the vocals on it. This song is gonna be killer, I know it." Paul practically leaped in his chair at the controls table.

I nodded, then headed into the booth & put my headphones on. I tried to sing the song as best as I could, all the while trying not to think about the look on Demi's face earlier tonight. I tried to focus on Lyric & how excited she was when she heard this song. After five or six takes, Paul finally nodded with a huge smile on his face & told me we had it. I walked out of the room & sat in a chair near him so he could play it back for me. I listened, trying to concentrate on the song & not on my marriage. "Sounds good. I like it. I wouldn't change a thing. Would you?" I asked Paul, glancing up at him.

"Nope. I think it's good." Paul said, then leaned back in his chair & clasped his hands behind his head. He gave me a sideways smirk, then continued to stare at me until I finally gave him an annoyed hand gesture. "You gonna tell me what's bothering you?"

"Nothing." I looked away then hung my head. I didn't want to burden him with my problems. I hated that, actually. It was my problem & I shouldn't unload it on other people. But, thank God I have friends that know I am this way & they don't let shit go.

"I have known you a long ass time dude & I can tell you got something weighing heavy on you. Spill it. We're not doing anything else until you talk to me. I'm your friend & that's what friends do." Paul leaned forward to put his hand on my shoulder & gave me a little shake.

I sighed, then sat back in my chair. I ran my hands over my head & sucked on my bottom lip before I looked over at Paul. "Demi & I had a really big fight before I left." I said, watching his face, carefully. His eyes widened with surprise since Demi & I never argued in front of people & up until a few months ago, we hardly ever argued at all. "It was a scary one. She shoved me, so I had to get out of there. In fact.... we've been doing a lot of fighting the last several months. Since Buddy died." I let out another deep breath, feeling relieved to be talking to someone about it. "She's never shoved or hit me before though."