Boundaries

Chapter 13

[Sienna ]

I felt kevin tap me lightly as I slept.

With my vision still blurry I sat up to focus on what he was saying.

"Sorry to wake you beautiful but I just needed someone to talk to. "

I smiled.

He called me beautiful.

"I'm all ears. "

"My life is so stressful man. I still have a child to raise with Drea, she's been making it difficult for me to be there, she's putting thoughts of me being a bad person I'm my daughter's head, you know.. we've never gotten to talk about the situation that we in and that's eating away at me, being out in the field is so stressful, shits just been crazy the past couple of weeks. "

I dont really know how to go about the situation...

"I'm sure Andrea is just hurting at the moment, when women hurt, they shut down and become difficult you know, and listen, with her making you seem like a bad guy, you do everything you possibly can to show Yoheaven otherwise. And... maybe you should just get a real job.. I mean you have two children nowadays, you need to worry about them. And with our 'situation' we'll figure it out whenever it comes about, I've tried to talk to you but you shut me out. "

He sighed.

Whether he knew it or not Im just as stressed about the situation than he is. I just lost my only friend, the only female I could run to for everything, I lost her because I wasn't thinking right.

"Lets figure it out now then.. "

"I mean.. what is there to find out? "

"What are we gonna do? Are we even.. we? Are you gonna stay here with me? Are you gonna find another job? Like.. how are we going about this?"

I hesitated because whatever I said next could determine my future.

"First. We need to get real jobs. I'm tired of stripping. And your obviously tired of selling dope. "

"Secondly.. like.. I want this relationship. I want us. I want our child to know their parents are in a good loving relationship."

"Are you sure this is what you want? "

I can hear his heart beating.

I place my hand on his chest.

"I've never been more sure about anything in my life before " he smiled.

"I love you Kevin.. "

"How much? "

"Alot.. ever since I first laid eyes on you. I've loved you from the moment you acknowledged me. "

"Awe.. okay. "

He nodded his head, got up and headed out.

That was NOT the response I was looking for..

Too soon Sienna.. too soon.

I sat there silently crying to myself.

I was never going to truly have Kevin.

Ill never have Kevin because unfortunately drea will always have his heart.

I've never had a relationship like theirs where we practically raised each other and know everything about one another, and Im sure it's hard to let go of that love and that bond but..

When you have something good in front of you, and you know your past is dead, then.. why live in that painful state?

Why continue to dwell in the fact that the love that was once there isn't there anymore.. when someone is clearly attempting to give you all of them.

I want kevin. I love him and I can't help it.

I'm a prisoner to his Charm.

I really wish he wouldn't shut me out.

I wish he would love me back.

I wish he would let go of his past and focus on his future.

I wish he would see the good in me and what I can bring to the table.

I wish he was more focused on the child we're having then his old tattered relationship with Andrea.

I'm starting to envy her.

He's her slave and she's treating him like shit.

He'll legit sit beside me and blow her phone up to beg for forgiveness.

That shit hurts so horribly bad.

I tried to calm my nerves down and watch tv.

I was slowly drifted off.

Soon I heard the door get kicked in.

Kevin ran from Yoheavens room and all I heard was bullets.

I ran to Yoheavens room and took her to my bathroom.

As we hid in the tub Yoheaven screamed and hollered for her father.

All I heard was bodies dropping to the floor.

The bathroom door was kicked in and a man stood there with fury in his eyes.

He raised his gun at us.

"Please. Please dont. I'm pregnant. "

He aimed the gun at my stomach.

"The world doesn't need another one of bitch ass Kevin's bastard kids.

Yoheaven hid behind me and clutched onto my shirt.

I close my eyes and heard a shot.

I open my eyes slowly and I was perfectly fine.

Kevin stood there with a bloody shirt and his pistol still smoking.

Yoheaven began to scream from staring at the body on the ground.

I instantly started crying.

Kevin shook me waking me up.

"All I heard was screaming bae, you okay in here? "

Fresh tears strolled down my face.

"I'm fine. " I lied.

That dream felt so.. so fucking real.

Like it was a warning or something.

I had to tell Kevin about this whenever my nerves called the he down.