Black Wynter 2 "Quiet Storm"

Chapter Thirty Two

Life. Life. Life. Over and over, the word replayed in Tommoi's head. For several different reasons. She couldn't believe what her life had become. She couldn't believe Omar had been given life behind bars. And she still couldn't believe that there was a life growing within her.

Tommoi watched as the movers placed all of her possessions into a U-Haul truck. She also couldn't believe that she was moving right back into Ms. Bernadette's apartment. Natasha had suggested it. Telling Tommoi that she might as well use the apartment to her full advantage. Why stay in Omar's house without him? And she was right.

Tommoi had also told all of her siblings that they could move in with her. There was more than enough room for all four of them, anyway. So that's what was happening.

Tommoi had been meeting with a bunch of potential parents for her unborn baby. Tasha had been coming along with her, to give her opinion. Moi needed someone there with her because she had to make sure that she picked the perfect set of parents for her baby. It was the least that she could do. And so far, Tommoi hadn't liked anyone for her baby.

She wondered if that was a bad sign, though. Her going so hard and being so picky was making her feel as though she was already attached to the baby. She didn't want that. She didn't at all want to renege on this whole thing during the last minute. Her case worker had warned her that that often happened. And that she could be sued for doing that. Moi didn't need those types of problems in her life.

"Tommoi, if you want to keep the baby... I will help you," Natasha often let her know. But Tommoi's mind was already made up. She was not keeping this baby. She was not ready to be a mother and Omar was not there. She wasn't going to raise a broken child.
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Tommoi sat at the table in the waiting area, her legs shaking in anticipation of Omar's arrival. This was her first time seeing him and she felt sick to her stomach. She was hoping with everything within her that her breakfast wouldn't rise back up and find it's way all over these tiled prison floors.

Omar finally came through the doors and he smiled instantly upon seeing his girl. Tommoi did not smile back though, so Omar immediately knew that something was wrong. "Wassup, baby?" Omar greeted Tommoi, kissing her lightly on the lips. "Hey, babe," Tommoi responded.

Omar took a good look at Tommoi. He knew something was wrong, but he didn't know what. "What's wrong? You don't look so good," he stated. "Yeah, I know. I'm a little sick, I don't feel well," Moi told him. It wasn't a complete lie. Just not the whole truth. "Drink some tea," Omar joked. He knew that normally made Tommoi laugh. They both never understood why Jamaicans thought tea was the remedy for everything. But Tommoi didn't even crack a smile. And what came out of her mouth next made him understand why.

"I don't think I'ma be able to do this," she told him. "Do what?" Omar asked her, quizzically. Moi motioned around the entire jail facility. "This, Omar. I can't do this. This isn't what we had planned for us," she said to him. Omar sighed. "I know this seems bad, baby girl. But we can make it work. I promise. They let you get married in here. And once you become my wife, we get private visits. So you know, we could-" Tommoi cut him off.

"Omar, I don't want to live my life like that!" she exclaimed. The two of them sat quiet, staring into each other's faces for a couple long seconds. Tommoi's heart was breaking with every moment that passed. But she knew she had to do what she had to do. She couldn't be Omar's girl anymore. Not like this. This was not at all what she pictured for herself and her future.

"So, what you saying Tommoi? You don't wanna be with me anymore?" Omar asked her. There was so much emotion hidden right behind his voice and Moi truly didn't want to do this. But she knew that she had to. She and Omar couldn't be together, anymore. It was pointless to her.

"No," she answered. "I don't," she let him know. Tommoi was shocked to see one lone tear slide down Omar's cheek. And then some tears of her own formed in her eyes. "I'm sorry," she whispered to him. But Omar was hurt beyond measure. And he wasn't going to let her off that easily.

"You're sorry? You came all the way up here just to tell me you don't want to be with me anymore and you got the nerve to tell me you're sorry? What do you take me for?" he asked her. But Tommoi wanted him to understand where she was coming from, too.

"Omar, I know you're upset. But you gotta hear me out. I'm only nineteen years old. I have my entire life ahead of me. I can't spend it in here with you. I didn't put you here," she said to him, trying to make him understand. But all her words did was insult O-Lok.

"I got my whole life ahead of me too, Tommoi. You think I want to be in here?" he asked her. "I don't know what you want, Omar! All I know is that you are here because of you! How many times have I told you to leave that situation with that guy Jo alone? How many times? And you never listened to me. I told you to stop because this is what I was afraid of. I warned you, Omar. And you didn't listen to me. So, it's not fair for you to expect me to stay with you now that you're here!" Tommoi checked him.

She was right, but Omar wasn't trying to hear none of that. She had just shattered his heart into a million tiny little pieces. All he could think about now was the pain that he was feeling. "Whatever, Tommoi. You never loved me," he claimed. Oh God! Now this, Tommoi thought to herself. Men could be so dramatic at times. "I never loved you, Omar?!" she cried, incredulously.

"No. You can't love someone and then leave them when they need you the most," Omar accused. Moi squinted her eyes. Was this dude serious? "What about me, Omar? You left me! I need you back home, but you're in here! You left me, too!" she argued. Omar stood. As far as he was concerned, this visit was over. "Whatever, Tommoi. I don't even wanna hear it. It's over. You're dead to me," he told her. And then he walked away.