Rev!Kevedd One-shots

Dark Paradise

By: Alt-eredboy

Summary: Edd can no longer cope...

WARNING: Depression&Suicide
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Sleep should have been an escape. Closing his eyes and giving in to the feeling of fatigue should have kept the nightmares away. Though all his hopes were for naught, that's all he could do.

Even if he did sleep, it was hard to get up and out of the bed. The reality of what was now everyday crushed him; hit him like a putrid stench that made him want to fall to his knees while his eyes watered with unshed tears.

And though those tears would remain unshed in the presence of company, they'd come streaming the moment he crossed the threshold, anytime he made a careless glance out the window to a house that was now empty of one member.

His parents must hate him. They never talked to him, but he did catch the glares when they thought he wasn't looking. Sometimes he thought they did know he was looking and did it to make him feel worse.

He'd been adamant at school, didn't talk to anyone despite their efforts. If they pushed too much, he pushed back with an insult before walking away to hopefully try and deal with not seeing him in the halls anymore. Even his grades had slipped, though he didn't care. It was pointless. His position as captain of the swim team was revoked because he couldn't keep up with his old records. He just couldn't conjure the physical effort. If his pumpkin wasn't there to cheer him on then what point was there?

Everyday he drove home slowly, his thoughts completely blank except for one thing. One question:

"What did I do, Pumpkin?"

Had he been too harsh? Had he taken his snide remarks too far? Had he bullied him far enough over the edge that the redhead had finally said enough with this life?

In all honesty, Edd thought he'd made up for it in private. He'd given the redhead his undivided attention though their conversations consisted of snarky replies to what he thought were dumb questions though oddly cute, but only for his Pumpkin. He may have been distant with his feelings but he'd tried. HE HAD TRIED DAMMIT.

He didn't realize he'd hit the car horn until another vehicle drove by, its driver flipping him the finger while viciously blaring the horn that had shaken him from his thoughts momentarily.

He wasn't good at anything without his Pumpkin there, was he? The thoughts wouldn't go away and he vaguely wondered if the redhead had felt this way at one point. The sense of helplessness, the feeling of just wanting to let it all go, like there was no other choice to get away. And for him, there wasn't. He'd shifted all the possible outcomes but this one, he felt, was going to bring him closer to his Pumpkin. Maybe if he did see him, he'd get to say he was sorry. Sorry for not conveying his feelings. That their relationship wasn't just a physical pleasure, it was an emotional one as well. The stubborn, thick headed, sincere, and caring redhead had sent a warmth through his body when he was still alive.

Almost mechanical movements were made throughout a household, completely empty of anything homey and always so dark. A bottle sitting on a nightstand was uncapped and pills poured into a shaking hand that was connected to a sobbing body. Over twenty anti-depressants were shoved into an open mouth before he laid back on the pillows. A tear-stained face smiled and the feeling of his waning lifespan. Muscles relaxed and a now dead mind was no longer plagued with that single thought, though its last one had been: "I hope you're waiting for me."
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So sad :'(
I'm sorry that I didn't update for the longest time. School started and homework at the High School is tough as fuck.

My B-Day is tomorrow so I won't be able to do anything on the Inernet all day :/ visiting a lot of family too.

Oh well See ya RSs,
Bbyyeee!