Lost without you × Newt × A Maze Runner fanfiction

EPILOGUE

[Spoiler alert!!! Spoilers from the death cure.]

1 year later

I stood in front of Newt. We were in a empty room, the only source of light came out of the scattered windows. Still, I could see his face clearly. His face was dirty and sweaty and I knew I looked the same. But he still was beautiful. I had a gun in my hand, and so had Newt.

'Are you sure about this?' Newt asked me while he stroked my cheek.

'Yeah, I don't want to become a wild animal, I don't want you to see me like that. I can feel it change in my head, and I shucking hate it. Why, are you changing your mind about this?' I was still using Glader talk, even though it had been a year. I just couldn't help myself.

'No, definetly not. I can feel it change, too.' His voice was softer then before.

'I want to say one last thing, though.' I said.

'That's okay.' He was still stroking my cheek. I loved the way it felt.

I looked into his beautiful, brown eyes. Those eyes where I could get lost in. Then I starting talking, with a soft voice.

'Even though all the bad stuff, I would have lived it over and over again to be here with you right now. All the tears, all the sleepless nights, all the grieve, all the pain, I would relive it all, if I could with you, sweetie. You were the one who pulled me through the horrible moments... You were the one that made me happy even in the darkest times.' I felt my eyes filled with tears. They made their way down my cheeks and Newt rubbed them away.

'Me too.' Newt whispered and he began crying, too.

'All the people we've lost... Alby... Chuck... Teresa...' I whispered, I couldn't finish my sentence because my voice was to shaky. Thinking about them made me beyond sad. But I would proudly die as one of them. Newt nodded sadly, fighting against more tears.

We'd said our goodbyes to the rest of the group a long while ago, before we seperated from them. It was hard, especially saying goodbye to Thomas and Minho. We knew it was our last goodbye, that we would never return. But it was all perfect. This was the right thing to do, I felt it. I could die knowing our friends were immune and living in a peaceful world without us, the cranks.

'I love you so bloody much. Being with you all those years meant so much to me. So thank you so much for that. You aren't just the women I love, you are my best friend. And I think that that hole I felt in my heart when I was in the Glade whitout you, was you. You were the missing piece. But we're together now and that makes me so happy.' Newt said, his voice was shaky, too.

I took his face in my hands and wiped away his tears. Those words Newt just had spoken meant so much to me. It's weird, in your last moments you're going to think about everthing. You're gonna say the things you hadn't said before. Memories of your life would come flying back to you without realising they did. Memories of the past year, mostly. We'd lived trough the scorch and escaped the WICKED headquarters. It was horrible but I was still happy because of him. We had had our memory swipe removed and I could remember everything. Our first kiss, our first laugh, the first time I knew I was in love with him, everything, and I was thankful for that.

'I love you too... so, so much... Thank you, too... You were the best thing that had ever happened to me.' I answered him through sobs. Newt slowly wiped my tears away and I leaned in and kissed him. It was the best kiss we'd ever had, and our last one. We knew that. I smiled through my tears. I could die knowing I was loved, and not by anyone but by Newt. That was something to be really happy about.

'Together?' I asked and I pointed my gun at his heart.

'Together. On 3.' Newt did the same thing. I could feel the cold, metal gun pointing at my heart through my T-shirt. Newt's hand was shaking, so the gun was moving a bit. I just hoped he wouldn't miss.

'Newt, I-' I wanted to say it one more time, before the end.

'I know what you're about to say, and I know.'

'Then let me say it one last time. I love you.'

'I love you too..' Newt answered and gave me a kiss on my forehead.

'1...... 2......-'

With a sore ache in my heart I pulled the trigger and the world quickly turned into blackness.