How I Met Him (A Spideypool Fanfiction)

Chapter 14~ Wade

After I climbed through the window and collapsed on my couch last night, I didn't do anything productive yet.

I can't help but think about Peter. He reacted so...
>weird?<
[what about jealous?]
'Why would he be jealous?'
>DUH!<
[it's because he likes you~]
'No he doesn't! He's a perfectly nice STRAIGHT guy who wouldn't date a weird creep like me'
>well i'd say he's as straight as a bendy ruler<
[mmmhmm. I agree with the muttonhead.]
>HEY<
'Yea thanks guys you can shut up now'
[why woul-]
>OKAY BYE GOOD LUCK FIGURING OUT YOUR CRUSH SWEETHEART~<

'What'
'Guys'
'What do you mean?!'
'Come back!'

Oh great! Just great! The only time I need the two shitheads they're gone...
What did they mean with crush?
Do I like Peter?
I always knew I wasn't 100% straight so that ain't the issue but still...
Do I like him?
I mean, I noticed he's pretty fucking handsome, with his hair and eyes and....

Jesus I sound like a school girl.

But anyway, he IS attractive. I don't know if I feel attracted to him.
Would he even want to be my boyfriend?
Would he date a weirdo like me?
With voices in their head, scars, and just overall problematic?
I am a mercenary for fuck's sake!

And he's just...
A straight A-student, never missed a class.
He could do something with his life. He could be sucessful!

But not with me.

I would hold him back.
I'd be an obstacle.
How could he find the right job, have a family?
If he was with me... Well, he couldn't.
I know there's adoption but I wouldn't want to raise a kid in the mercenary business.
As I said before, i'd hold him back.

I don't want to be the one that makes him unable to follow his dreams.

Yes, i'd love to hold his hand in public, kiss him, be able to call him mine.
Share a home, cook breakfast even though i'd probably set the kitchen on fire.
I'd love to make him my boyfriend.

But I can't be the one that makes him miserable.
I can't live with that.

Yes, I am totally fucking in love with him but I have to kick those feelings aside.

And I did what I always do when My thoughts become too heavy.

I picked up a gun, held it to my head, and pulled the trigger.

~~~~~
A/N: this is unedited. I got a great idea so that's why i'm updating again after 5 days :) the story's coming to an end! :') i expect there to be 2-3 chapters + an epilogue left. Just to give you a heads up.
Thank you all for your support so far! I love to read all the comments, it really motivates me to keep going :)
-Moon