Lights, Camera, Action

Sorry

THIRTY-ONE: SORRY

Alyssa's POV

I was so angry at Mark. I knew there was a reason why I didn't even want to tell him about my stupid dream. He gets jealous so easily sometimes! Not that I don't. It's not always super fun to watch girls ask if they can kiss him on the cheek and whatnot at conventions, and if I were to go on any given website and look him up, there would be tons of inappropriate things and fans talking about how sexy they think he is. Maybe jealousy isn't such a bad thing, but Mark needed to learn how to handle it.

"I'm sorry that you got dragged into this whole thing," I apologized to Jack as we made our way back to the hotel.

"You don't have to apologize. You haven't done anything. I think Mark just had a little too much to drink," he responded.

"Yeah. I mean, he was already jealous, even before he had any alcohol. But of what? He knows there's nothing going on between us."

"Maybe he's just afraid of losing you so he's looking into it too much. He cares an awful lot about you," Jack suggested.

"I know. I care about him too. I mean, yeah, he's really annoyed me tonight and I'm angry, but I feel somehow guilty, too. And a little afraid that the scene he just made isn't the end of this."

"What do you mean?"

"Maybe this is something he's not just going to get over. This whole thing is obviously bothering him a lot. I just can't help but feel like I'm doing something wrong and like I'm fucking everything up," I admitted. I felt my eyes welling up with tears, but I blinked them back. We were still in the public eye, and I didn't like crying in front of people.

"Just wait until tomorrow to try to figure things out with him. He'll be able to think clearly then and have a real conversation with both of us, then," Jack suggested.

"Yeah, I know." Things were silent for the rest of the walk, which was only a couple more minutes. When we got back to the hotel, Jack spoke again.

"Do you want me to walk you to your room?" he wondered.

"Sure, I guess." We took the elevator to the third floor and headed down the hall. I located room number 324 and got out my room key.

"Thanks for walking me here, Jack. I really appreciate it,"

"Yeah, no problem." He acted as if he was about to start walking, but then turned back towards me. "Are you okay?"

"I don't know. I'm sure I'll be fine. You should probably get back, don't you think?" I changed the subject, the tears trying to slip out of my eyes again.

"Actually, I don't think I'm going to go back. I don't really want to fight with Mark anymore tonight. I'll just text everyone to let them know that you got back safely," he decided.

"That'll probably make Mark think that something IS going on, being that we're the only two in the group that are here," I realized.

"Oh, let him think whatever he wants. At the end of the day, there's nothing for him to be suspicious about. Now are you sure you're alright? You seem off again, and I'm pretty sure I actually didn't do anything to make you mad this time."

I wanted to say that I was truly fine without my voice cracking. I wanted to hold back my tears. I wanted to be strong, but I just couldn't. I used the key to open the door and a tear slid down my cheek as I looked back at him.

"I'm fine," I lied, not that there was a point in doing so. It was pretty obvious how I really felt.

"Hey, it's okay to not be fine! Can I come in for a second?" I nodded in response. We both went inside and I broke down.