New Beginnings (Sequel to Painful Love)

Chapter 15: Promise

I pulled a old t-shirt of Ashley's over my head. I loved it when I slept in his shirts; they made me feel safe, like when I'm in his arms. We had just got home and it was late, and Jinxx and Sammi had already left, leaving us with the twins again. Pulling my hair up, I walked into the girls' room and I saw Ashley with the girls on the floor. He was sitting cross-legged on the floor with the twins sitting in front of him. Stefani-Lynn had a tight grip on Ashley's left finger and Skylar had a tight grip on his right. "Look Zoe!" Ashley said, smiling. "I'm teaching them how to sit up by themselves."

I went to sit down next to him. As I sat down, he let go of each of them and let them sit there, keeping their balance. "Which on do you think will last longer?" Ashley said, laughing.

I looked over at them and I saw Stefani-Lynn begin to get a little wobbly. Reaching for her before she fell, I sat her in my lap. "Looks like Skylar won," Ashley said, picking her up and setting her in his lap. I kissed Stefani-Lynn's cheek and said "Maybe next time." We both laughed.

Ashley and I looked at each other, then he spoke. "I've missed them so much."

"I don't think I could be away any longer from them," I said. I picked up my phone off the ground where I put it and the phone said "11:30". The girls were ready for bed, but Ashley and I didn't really want to put them down, since we haven't seen them in a week. But Stefani-Lynn yawned in my arms. "Ashley, I think it's their bed time."

Ashley nodded, then he stood up with Skylar in his arms and placed her in her crib. He then came over to me and I handed him Stefani-Lynn and he put her in the crib. We kissed the girls goodnight and walked to our room. We were both exhausted.

Ashley changed into his boxers and crawled into bed next to me. I laid my head on his shoulder and he kissed my head. "I love you Zoe," he whispered.

"I love you too, Ashley," I said with a smile. Before I knew it Ashley had drifted to sleep with his arms around me warmly. I tried for what must have been an hour to fall asleep but I just couldn't. I decided to get up. There was no use in laying there if I couldn't sleep. I unwrapped my self from Ashley's arms and sat up slowly trying not to wake him. Thankfully, I didn't; he just rolled over and continued sleeping. I walked over to the girls room, their door slightly open with their little pink nightlight on. I walked inside and peeked over into each of their cribs. My baby girls were lying there, peacefully sleeping. I watched as each of their chests rose and fell. Each breath they took was more special to me than the last. "I love you," I whispered in a soft tone. "Even though mommy has her troubles, I want you to know I'll be there for you both," I continued. "I'll never give up on you, because I know you'll never give up on me. You're both perfect little miracles, mommy and daddy love you so much." They continued to sleep, I felt small tears run down my face. Wiping them off my face, I smiled, then thought. These girls were my everything, and Ashley and I loved them endlessly. Then I thought about yesterday, and my breakdown on the plane. I was sick reminding myself about my past failures. I was better than that. I had Ashley for a loving husband, and two beautiful twin daughters. It was ridiculous that kept putting myself down. I had to step up. "Okay, starting now, I'm gonna promise the both of you that I will never, ever hurt myself again. You two are the best, most wonderful children anyone could ask for. I know I've let your daddy down a couple times, but I know I can't let you down. I promise you, mommy will never hurt herself again." I blew both of them kisses, then I walked out of their room, leaving the door open just a crack. I crawled back into bed, relieved to feel a soft, comfy bed. Closing my eyes, I felt Ashley's caring arms wrap around me, then his soft voice whispered in my ear. "You're wonderful mom, Zoe."