The Slightest Hope

Chapter 15

HARRY'S POV

I awoke in a darkened state, mad at myself for what I had done. I can't believe I let my hormones get the best of me. I touched my tingling lips. It was fun while it lasted.

Rose lay beside me, eyes closed in a blissful sleep. Her head rested against my chest and she lay atop my now asleep arm. I shouldered Rose off gently as I stood up, stretching my stiff limbs.

I dragged my feet to the shower, not quite awake yet. The knob shocked me from static electricity and I let out a gasp. Rose moved in the bed, sighing before settling back into sleep. I smiled sweetly. She looked like a peaceful little kitten.

The shower warmed my chilled body as I rotated in the spray of warm water. Apricots had become a welcome scent to me as I scrubbed my regrets away. I couldn't stop thinking about the sweet taste of her lips and the way her soft skin warmed me. Stop torturing yourself, Harry.

I unwillingly shut off the water as I stepped into the foggy air. I shuddered as I pulled the towel tight around my waist, walking into her breezy bedroom.

Rose sat in her bed, novel held close to her face. I recognized the worn book in her clutches. 'Romeo and Juliet'. She had dressed in a black tank top and shorts and it was a refreshing sight compared to her usual professional dresses.

"Hey." I said softly, trying not to disturb her. She savored the last few words on the page before shutting the book and gazing at me with her blue bird eyes.

"Harry." Rose greeted with a shy grin. The tension was thick between us as we stared in awkward silence.

"Can I borrow some clothes?" I asked, hoping to avoid the inevitable topic.

She looked at me with disappointed eyes and pointed to the dresser. Rose had obviously prepared something to say. But I refused to talk about and maybe things would go back to normal.

I grabbed a pair of boxers, jeans, and a flannel before glancing at Rose. Her nose had gone back into the book as she scanned the page furiously. Thankful her attention was diverted from me, I hastily slid the clothes on, depositing the wet towel in her hamper. I took a gentle seat beside her, arms barely grazing.

"I was thinking I could take you and Drew out to lunch, as my way of saying thanks. I still have some money left over and it's the least I can do." I suggested. Rose dog eared the page and turned towards me, a slight pang of emotion crossed her face. Hate? Fear? Sadness? It was too quick to tell.

"Have you thought about getting a job?" She asked. The question angered me. That was rude of her, I mean, I just got here. I needed to get settled before I took up such a big responsibility.

"Are you serious?" I thickly questioned. Rose's eyes flashed that mystery emotion again, but it was too fast for my slow reactions.

"Harry, I just need a little help until we get on track. Besides, you promised me you would look for one." Her tone reminded me of my strict parents. Ugh, she sounded just like my mother. Up tight and cold.

"I don't know, Rose. Have you thought about shutting the hell up?" I demanded, roughly engulfing her dainty wrists in my hand. She winced but I ignored it.

"I have been living on the streets for three fucking years! And now I finally and comfortable and safe and don't have to worry about starving, but as soon as I get here, you press your stupid wants on me! I don't want to get a job right now! I want to be happy!" I was screaming now, swinging Rose's arms around. She whimpered as I shoved her against the headboard of the bed.

"I still have the gun. And I know how to shoot it, so if you EVER think that you can tell me what to do again, just watch your back!" I shouted until I was red in the face, rage flowing out of me and into my words. Rose was silent as I panted, glaring daggers at her. If looks could kill, she'd be rotting in a grave by now.

"Harry." She cried softly, tears beginning to stream down her soft cheeks.

"WHAT?!?" I yelled, not caring that she was crying. Let her cry a river and maybe she'd drown in it.

"You're hurting me." Rose cried as sobs began to escape her rosy lips. Those words brought me back to my senses. I released her wrists and she cried harder at the sight of purple fingerprints. I bruised her. My stomach dropped and I felt empty. Like my heart had shattered and nothing could ever fix it.

"Rose...." I whispered, I reached a gentle hand to wipe away tears as she flinched away from my touch. I felt a stab in my chest. She didn't love me. I ruined it. I would be gone tomorrow.

The sounds of her sobs chorused around her room as I sat in silence. I tried to pull her in a hug and she stayed still, lifeless.

"Rose? I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry." I begged her forgiveness. Rose turned away from me, lying on her side as she cried to the wall. I stroked her hair and with every stroke, she shuddered with fear, as I were going to hurt her again.

I felt nothing as I stood. All hope and love vanished as I walked towards the door. I felt like I were awake in a dream.

"I love you more than you will ever know." I confessed. I awaited her response, only to be greeted by heaving sobs. I shut the door, hoping to die as I walked away.

~~~

The rain chilled me to my bones as I sat on the park bench. It was gray and storming, but at least I was alone with my thoughts. I can't believe I hurt my Rose. One of the few good things in my life. I caused pain in those beautiful blues, as they sobbed. Remorse. Regret. Pain. Those were my only friends now.

The rain became heavier and I couldn't seen three feet in from of me. Not that I needed to. No one in their right mind would venture out into this weather. I was too tired to cry. Instead, I huddled into a ball and drifted into a cold coma, praying for a break from the pain.

~~~

I awoke to a small crowd of teenagers staring at me. They're eyes were red and the smelled like pot, a scent I used to be familiar with. They were stoned out of their mind.

"Dude, you scared us!" A skater boy said, tugging at his orange beanie. He talked like your stereotypical stoner and dressed in clothes that were torn in various places. I shuddered. That used to be me.

A pink haired girl approached me, a bottle of Vodka in her hand.

"You alright?" She asked. No I was not alright. I'm sulking in a pit of depression over the loss of my love and her brother. I guess she could detect my pain because she tilted the vodka towards me.

"Wanna sip?" She asked. Normally I would reject her offer, but I had nothing left to live for. I snatched the bottle and chugged the rest, ignoring their pleas to save some for them. I let out a satisfied gasp. I was beginning to feel good, but it wasn't enough. Her face still flashed through my mind. Her pale wrists tinged purple by my rough hand. I held back a cry as I turned towards Orange Beanie.

"What else you got?" I curiously asked. He chuckled before pulling his beanie off, a bag of pot slipping out. Pink Hair pulled a bong out of her long, black boots and a lighter out of her pocket.

"Want some?" He grinned, already knowing my answer.

Pink Hair dumped the contents into the bong and quickly searched for cops before lighting it. A process I hadn't done in years. She held the glass device out to me. Did I really want to do this? To throw away all my hard work? Rose flashed through my mind again, laughing musically, kissing me passionately, crying as I screamed at her. My heart twanged with regret through the sea of vodka that flowed through my body.

I snatched the bong and deeply inhaled, letting all thoughts of my love go with the puff of smoke I blew out.

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Drugs are bad, Mmkay?

But seriously, this chapter is pretty sad, I know, but it will get better. Or will it? *cue Twilight Zone tune*

Vote/ comment/ spread the word/ Dance in your underwear/ sing one direction/ avoid drugs! It means so much to me when you guys do!(: