What Connor Wants... (BWWM)

CHAPTER TEN: PAST

Eight years earlier

Connor sat down in the park late at night, waiting for Aubrey to arrive, and it seemed she would never come.

Where is she? She is supposed to be here half an hour ago. So, Connor thought to himself as he paced the park.

"Hey, baby!" Aubrey jumped on top of him, hugged Connor tight around his neck, and planted kisses all over his face. She had missed him after only seeing him yesterday; Aubrey could not explain herself and the way she loved him dearly.

"Baby, I have good news!" Aubrey squealed with excitement, and her beautiful dark brown eyes looked straight into his as if burning into his soul. Connor did not know what news Aubrey wanted to share with him, but he, too, had his own news to share with her.

"That's good, babe, because I, too, have something to tell you," Connor informed her; inside, he felt his intestines tie up in knots.

"Okay. So tell me what's your exciting news first, and then I'll tell you mine," Connor asked Aubrey, holding her hands in his just to feel himself from hurting. Aubrey jumped up and down with excitement.

Why am I doing this to her? Why am I being such a mean jerk? What did she ever do to deserve such hatred from me? All those questions filled his head. Connor thought of backing out and resolving this matter some other way.

"Hello, Earth, to Connor! Babe, what is wrong with you? Hurry up because I want to tell you our good news" Connor looked into Aubrey's beautiful brown eyes, and that was all it took for his heart to break. Now he really wanted to back out of this.

She is in love with me, so why am I hurting her? Connor thought to himself as he battled with himself.

"Aubrey, it would be best if we just broke up. I've meant to tell you this for months, but I could not –so this is it," Connor spat out. He quickly turned his face around; the pain of seeing Aubrey hurt was one that he could not bear to face it.

Why are you lying to her? Connor mentally asked himself a question he had no answer to, but he knew there was no other way to break this to Aubrey.

Connor grew the courage and turned to face Aubrey again; the glitter in her eyes was now gone and replaced with sadness.

"What are you saying, Connor? I, I thought you said you loved me," She asked Connor with tear-filled eyes. Aubrey reached out to touch his face, but Connor pulled himself away from her; he knew that he could not allow Aubrey to touch him. She could weaken him; because that was the last thing he needed.

"I lied, okay! Come on, Aubrey, you know what I wanted from you. Now that I got what I wanted, it's over!" Connor yelled at Aubrey, and he could see that he scared her. A tear ran down her face, and Connor could tell she had gotten the message.

Connor, do not lie to yourself; you know you love her. His mind taunted him so much that even he could not deny it.

"Connor, I know you and—and I know your heart. I don't believe you're doing this out of your own free will— I know that you love me as much as I love you," Aubrey told him; she stuttered as she forced those words out of her mouth.

Connor felt he was placed under a microscope as Aubrey studied him from head to toe.

"Aubrey, get it into your head. We can't be together!" Connor yelled at her, causing Aubrey to step back from him.

"Why can't we be together?" Aubrey asked him, her voice soft and hurt.

"I mean, look at yourself, you're from the scum of the Earth, and I'm rich. You are black, I am white, and I do not want to taint my lineage by mixing blood with yours. Imagine me introducing you to my parents as my girlfriend. I'll probably be turned into a laughing stock!" Connor spat out, his words hurting him more than they pulled her.

Aubrey stepped closer to Connor, and this time, Connor stepped back from her. Even though it was dark, he could still see that Aubrey was hurting. Her body had lost all the energy she had brought with her once she arrived.

Without saying another word, Connor walked away from her. Aubrey ran after him and tried to reach for him, but he shook her off and continued walking. Connor did not have to be told that Aubrey was looking at him as he walked away; he could feel her gaze burning a hole into his back.

He knew that he had hurt Aubrey, even when he had once promised never to hurt her in any way. He had expected her to run after him— just one last time as tears stung the back of his eyes.

Connor got to the parking lot, unlocked his car, and sat down inside. His heart pained him as tears clouded his eyes; he slammed his hand against his steering wheel.

Why did you not tell her the truth? That your father had found out about your secret love and prohibited you from dating a black woman. Why didn't you tell her that if you did not break up with her, he would disown you, and you would never take over his companies, or why didn't you tell her that you would be leaving South Africa for New York the very next day? So Connor thought to himself as he had so many questions running through his mind but did not have answers to any of them.

Without waiting a second longer, Connor started his engine. There was nothing more left for him to do at this stage and time; he had ruined his relationship with Aubrey to please his father, who had never acknowledged him.

**

Watching Connor walk away from her felt surreal as she stood in one spot, her legs refusing to run after him. Connor leaving her was not the final nail to her coffin, but his words were. She watched him walk away as she tried to process the words that had left his mouth. Then, Aubrey threw herself on the nearby park bench, and it hit her that Connor was gone.

The exciting news she wanted to share with Connor turned into what Aubrey considered a nightmare. She placed her hand over her flat belly and hoped Connor would return and explain himself.

They had had arguments in their relationship before, and Aubrey hoped this would pass.

How could he? Why would he leave me alone, especially when I am carrying his child? He did not even allow me to tell him about our child growing inside me. What am I going to do? I am only eighteen and do not have much; how would I deal with a child of all things? Aubrey thought to herself as panic began setting in on her.

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Hey guys, thank you for reading this far. Just a slight note. Some of the chapters for; "What Connor wants" will be posted on my IG: _author_eugenia_ 

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