Leather, Love, and Lace*EDITING*

.17 Home On the Road

*Dean's P.O.V*
          When we pulled into the cafe Carson was still asleep, near dead in the backseat. Sammy headed in as I opened the backdoor.
"Carson, baby. We're getting some food." Her eyes opened a crack and she looked on me, slightly confused. She ran a hand through her long wavy-slightly messy hair. This is was when she was my favorite, no makeup, messy hair, tired innocence in her eyes. She pulled her sneakers on her feet and adjusted her sweatshirt. I followed her as her legging clad legs took long strides to the diner.
*Carson's P.O.V*
            Dean slid into the booth next to me, his hand finding mine. I twisted his wedding band around. This was all I needed was Sammy and Dean, my boys. I smiled, I was happy for the first time in a long time.
***
         I sat on the edge of the bed-dirty and bloodied from the hunt. Poltergeists, I hated them. I sighed deeply and took off my boots, jeans and shirt before throwing on one of Dean's clean flannels. I wiped the blood from my face and sat down on the bed. Dean sat behind me, legs on either side of my waist. His forehead rested on my back and he drew circles on my hands.
"What's wrong Dean."
"I'm just sorry." When I heard the words I turned around, sitting between his legs, mine wrapped around him.
"Sorry for what?"
His head rested on my chest, arms around my waist.
"That I couldn't give you a home and a family and what you deserve, a normal life, what makes you happy." He let out a deep breath.
"You make me happy Dean, you are the only home I need." I kissed the top of his forehead and rested my hand on the back of his head.
"Besides I hate normal-I'm always waiting for the bad stuff to happen."
"I love you Carson Rae Winchester."
"Dean, I will always be here for you, I love you." His arms wrapped around  me and he pulled the blanket over us, we finally drifted off-together.
***
I woke up to Sam, talking about a nest of demons Crowley had not to far from here- I groaned and pulled myself out of bed, not caring enough to put on anything other then my bra, underwear, and Dean's flannel.
"Morning, we have a case, demons i-"
"Crowleys nest, apocalypse, kill them, yup got it." I went into the room and pulled on jeans and a t-shirt, I slid my feet into my boots,
"Let's gank these sons of bitches." I headed to the impala, climbing in the front seat forcing Sam to the back.
We stood there-Angel blades ready. My hand placed on the wood door, Dean's on the other of the cartoonish looking barn.
"1"
"2"
"3.." I whispered as we opened the door-Demons started piling out as fast as we could stab them. The bodies started to pile up but they just kept coming-Dean and Sam fought off about three each as five closed in on me. Ones hands wrapping around my neck, Dean killed the last two and ran over to me-I was fighting. I threw the demon to the ground before stabbing Dean and Sam helping me clear the rest.
"Are you okay?" Deans hands rested on my shoulders and he looked me up and down.
"I'm fine." I held one hand as Lucifer appeared.
"Well that was quite a show, thanks for taking care of those for me Darling." His hand laid on my cheek and I threw it off.
"What do you want."
"You." I snorted,Crowley and his damn antics.
"Well, that fucking sucks for you,huh?"
"That point is irrelevant, I'm just hear to warn you to watch what side your on. You may hate Crowley but word is Abbadon is on her way back." There was a bright flash and he was gone, I was left with my mind reeling.
          My head slumped on the table, I stared at the now-empty jack bottle lying on its side. I could see part of my reflection in it  I was a mess. I was a drunken useless mess. I heard Dean's footsteps and his hands laid on my shoulders, thumbs rubbing circles into my collarbones.
"Carson what did you do."
         I didn't say anything I just laid limp, staring ahead. His arm went around my waist and the other lifted my knees as Dean carried me to bed, silently.
"We started the apocalypse. We spent all these years trying to protect humanity and we just fucked it all over."
"Carson it's going to be fine, we're going to be okay."
         By this time I rested on the edge of the bed, my hair still wet and only in a sweatshirt. Dean's hands pull me down as he drags the blanket over us, before too long I hear subtle snores coming from him. But I can't sleep, nothing can seem to take these thoughts from me. I'm a failure , a fuck up, ugly, unwanted, a burden to Dean and Sam. I pulled myself from his grasp and walked to the kitchen, I leaned against the counter and pulled my dagger. I rested the cool metal on my skin. The light glinted of the silver, edged sharp enough to end this all.
        I rested, I looked. My hand yanked the blade away and threw it to the floor with a clash. My back slammed into the cupboards as I slid to the floor. I pulled my knees to my chest and began to cry.
*Dean's P.O.V*
         I opened my eyes to a noise and saw that Carson was gone, I grabbed my knife and sprinted to where the sound came from. My socked feet hit the tiled floor and I saw Carson leaning in and sobbing. I glanced around the room and pinpointed the dagger on the floor. I reached out and took Carson's hands and inspecting each wrist, no now cuts just healed ones. I pulled her into my arms.
"I am so proud of you Carson Rae."
"I almost did it, I'm such a failure."
"No baby girl, I'm the failure I can't even give you a stable home."
"Your my home Dean Samuel."
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I had a better chapter then this and it got fucking deleted so you will have to settle for this junk until I organize the rest of the plot. I hope to get two more updates or edited chapters done this next week.
But even when I'm supperrrrrr busy ily all you guys.
~Cammie