(Cathy, Rosie, and Casey walk into Piper's home, a huge, beautiful, white mansion.)
Cathy: Woah. This looks like one of those houses on Dynasty.
Rosie: Enjoy this moment. The novelty wears off after a while.
Piper: I'm surprised my dad let me out. He seemed to be pretty concerned. But I told him he had nothing to worry about. What about your parents?
Casey: We told our parents we were going to Bible study.
Cathy: Our lives have more parental control than the television watching habits of the Palin family.
(Partygoers freak out over being in Piper's home.)
Camden Gonzalez: I am in the home of Piper Snipes. My life is now complete. I could die right now. Holy shit. My place of death would be at Piper Snipe's house. Someone kill me!
Casey: You'd swear with how everyone's acting, we had entered Graceland.
(Someone sits on the toilet.)
Barbara Samuels: This is where Piper's ass sits. It feels like what I would imagine it would feel like. My ass is now 10 times better than it was before.
Casey: What an understatement.
Cathy: I don't get all the fuss about her.
Rosie: Neither do I. But in the eyes of everyone else, Piper Snipes is a goddess.
Cathy: But why?
Casey: She was on the hit TV sitcom Family Values.
Cathy: That's why she looked so familiar. I used to love that show. Wasn't she the youngest?
Rosie: Yep. And remember her catchphrase?
Cathy, Rosie, and Casey: "Leave me out of this"!
Cathy: She was the cutest. Whatever happened to her? She's....evil now.
Casey: Evil takes itself in the prettiest of forms.
Cathy: So...everyone basically worships her?
Rosie and Casey: Do they?...
(...)
Cynthia Rosewood: Piper Snipes is flawless!
Bobby Roberts: She got her vagina insured for $10,000. It must go under a lot of pain.
Jasmine Lewis: I hear she endorses perfume...in Germany!
Alli DeVoe: Her favorite movie is Twilight.
Linda Hammond: She once met Channing Tatum on a plane and he told her she was pretty.
Patrick Clinton: One time, she kicked me in the nuts. It was awesome!
(...)
Cathy: Ok. No offense but this school is crazy.
Rosie: Oh. None taken. We're known for being quite eccentric.
YOU ARE READING
SLASHER! Episode 1-"Don't Hold Your Breath"
HorrorA Northeastern town gets bombarded with the resurgence of an early 1980s serial killer, much to the surprise of the townsfolk as the original culprit is currently on Death Row for his monstrous crimes.
