(The coroner takes the lifeless body of Trina Monroe and put it in their van to be examined at their office. The police begin questioning people. Meanwhile, the partygoers sit in the living room and try to wrap their heads around this.)
Casey: She's dead.
Caroline (Thing 3): You've been saying that for the past half hour.
Bea (Thing 2): How long is that?
Casey: I knew it was a bad idea going to this party.
Martin: You have nothing to worry about.
Piper: Please. We're all gonna get attacked faster than the refrigerator of a morbidly obese menopausal woman during an episode of Grey's Anatomy. It'll be like Ten Little Indians. Let's see who's left standing.
Casey: I can't die yet. I'm not accomplished enough for an obituary.
Rosie: Is this entertaining you? Are you that sick and twisted?
Piper: Flower Child, now's not the time for your little "Kumbaya" bullshit. I'm just having fun. Besides, this is like a horror movie anyway. Without all.
Amber (Thing 1): If that was true, who would you be played by?
Piper: Jennifer Lawrence.
Leonard: Chris Pratt.
Amber (Thing 1): Nina Dobrev.
Bea (Thing 2): Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson.
(Everyone looks confused.)
Cathy: And who would I be played by?
Piper: Melissa McCarthy.
(Cathy looks offended.)
Piper: And Rosie would probably be played by someone like Drew Barrywhore.
Rosie: What's that supposed to mean?
Piper: You really think you'd survive a horror movie past the opening credits?
Rosie: Why not? I have for the past few years.
(Piper looks stumped.)
Martin: Okay, ladies. Let's break it up. Why don't we call it a night?
Bea (Thing 2): Well, what else would we call it?
Caroline (Thing 3): Sweetheart, did you sleep with a teacher or something?
Bea (Thing 2): (shocked) Where did you hear that from?
(Everyone starts to leave.)
Rosie: So you've survived your first Piper Snipes bash.
Cathy: Oh, yeah. It was pretty nice and chill.
Rosie: I wasn't talking about the party. I meant her little tirade.
Cathy: Oh. That. Well, from the looks of everything going on, she's the least of my worries right now.
Casey: Wouldn't be so sure about that.
YOU ARE READING
SLASHER! Episode 1-"Don't Hold Your Breath"
HorrorA Northeastern town gets bombarded with the resurgence of an early 1980s serial killer, much to the surprise of the townsfolk as the original culprit is currently on Death Row for his monstrous crimes.
