Let's Pretend My Tears Are Raindrops

Chapter 34--Let's Pretend My Tears Are Raindrops

Chapter 34

     Men can’t show emotion. It’s just not right—at least that’s what my dad always had tried to pound into my head. Now, though, I couldn’t help it.

     I loved her.

     I knew she was starting to get concerned, too, because of the way I was acting lately. Every time I saw her I choked up and couldn’t figure out what to do.

     I slammed Romeo and Juliet shut and heard it clank to my bedroom floor. I wasn’t usually a guy for classics, or reading for that matter, but I thought maybe Romeo could present me with a better way to handle what I was feeling.

     Glancing at the clock, I realized the time. Four-thirty. It was time for chores. My barn clothes were on the chair next to my bed and I quickly pulled them on. Once I was outside the cold air routinely nipped at my face. Sighing, I went into the barn, hearing the familiar click-click or the pulsators for the milking machines. Rob came out from the milk house with a cart holding the rest of the machines.

     “Hey Dare Bear.”

     Dare Bear was the nickname Rob gave me when I was about six and he and Lexie came to visit my mom while Lexie was pregnant. Rob told me he called me that because I used to jump into new things out of curiousity.

     “Hi Rob.” I responded, losing my train of thought. “Let’s get started.” I put on a pair of milking gloves.

     “Why are you in such a hurry?”

     “It’s just one of those days.” I responded.

     “I see.” He put a milking machine on a cow and after that we milked cows in silence for a long time. All through the night I kept dropping things and spilling water all over. I was a hazard to the human population. Finally, Rob stopped me, putting a hand on my shoulder.

     “Okay, kid. Tell me what’s going on.” He demanded.

     “It’s nothing.”

     “You got in your first fight?” He guessed.

     “No, Rob, nothing like that.”

     “Her mama don’t like you?”

     “Rob…” I tried getting him off my case, but failed epically.

     “You have to break up with her?”

     “No!” I said a little too quickly and a little too defensively.

     “In that case, I know what’s goin’ on.”

     “How could you possibly—”

     “You love her.” Rob said, not asking—telling.

     “I,” Trying to find a way out of the situation was impossible. “Yeah.” I admitted. “But how could you possibly know that?”

     “You’ve got that look.”

     “What look?”

     “The look of a teenage kid who has found someone who makes them feel complete.” Rob said.

     “She makes me crazy, Rob.” I told him quietly, feeling embarrassed just talking about it.

     “I know she does.” He slapped my back and handed me a bucket. “Now go milk those cows, boy, before I have to get saucy with you.”

     Late that night, Rob and I were the last two awake. He was reading the newspaper and I was finishing up some chemistry homework.

     “Derek?” Rob looked up from the newspaper.

     “What?”

     “I’m gonna admit that you scared me in the barn tonight.”

     I laughed. “Why is that?”

     “For a few minutes you had me thinking that I was gonna be a grandpa.”

     “Oh gosh.”

     “Which brings me to a new discussion.”

     “Whoa, Rob. Keep your undies on, pal. My relationship with Samantha is different than you think.”

     “Listen to me. As you two get more serious you’ll develop stronger emotions and—”

     “Please stop.” I begged.

     “Derek, I’m just looking out for you. I don’t want to see you screw up your future.”

     “I don’t think you get it Rob.” I said a little louder, finally getting his attention. “When Samantha lived in Utah she had a boyfriend.” Rob got suddenly quiet. “A really serious boyfriend.” I added. “But he got cancer and didn’t….make it.”

     “Oh.”

     “I’m not supposed to tell anyone that, but I think you need to know that to understand why it’s so complicated for me to lover her the way I do. I don’t know what do about it. I’m scared to chase her away, but it’s hard to keep it all in.” I spilled my guts to my uncle.

     “Tell her.” Rob told me with confidence. “She loves you, too.”

     I processed his words for just a moment. “Are you sure?”

     “Derek, I might be old, but I’ve been around the block once or twice. I ain’t stupid.”

     That night I laid awake in bed thinking about Rob’s advice. He was right.

     I had to tell Samantha how I felt about her.

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New Question.................Team Derek or Team Brandon? haha