Let's Pretend My Tears Are Raindrops

Chapter 39--Let's Pretend My Tears Are Raindrops

Hey guys:( Tell me what you think....and if my character's emotional reactions are okayish. Thanks so much<3

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Chapter 39

     The next morning brought nothing but sorrow and heartbreak. At quarter-after eight the hospital called, saying that we were welcome to come in and say our goodbyes. Since neither of Bryce’s parents was in any condition to go anywhere, I drove them to the hospital and went back to their home to think. That’s what I did all afternoon.

     Sitting on their couch, I recalled the good memories and the bad ones, trying to figure where I’d gone wrong. It wasn’t easy for me to face another loss like I’d had to just months before, but I knew it was inevitable. I traced the lines on my palms just like Brandon always had. He’d claimed that he’d known how to read palms and I was beginning to wonder if he really had. He’d foreseen a bend in the road for me and I’d never even thought about it until I was undergoing my own sorrow. I thought of the good-old-times, watching T.V. with Brandon and Bryce. And the canoe trip we’d gone on down the river about 45 minutes out of the city. I also thought of the way Bryce would always goof around, saying ridiculous things about Brandon. I could hear him now: “You should probably know that Brandon doesn’t brush his teeth.” “Brandon only takes a shower once a month.” “Did you know Brandon shaves his legs because he wants to keep in touch with his feminine side?”

     Every time Bryce came up with a devious comment, Brandon would tackle him and they’d roll on the floor trying to get one another to give in.

     For a moment, I could see them. I could hear the laughter. They were there, I knew they were.

     In my heart, I knew I no longer had anything to worry about. Brandon was going to be with Bryce and they’d pick up just where they’d left off. They’d roll around in the clouds, tirelessly doing what brothers do best. Maybe sometimes, if I was lucky, I’d be able to catch a trace of their laughter, ringing near me when they came to check on me.

     With a sad smile, I finally came to terms with everything. Of course, I’d thought I’d been over Brandon, but in all truth, I hadn’t been. Now I recognized that.

      Grabbing my purse, I walked out the door. On my way to the hospital I went through the drive-thru at Dairy Queen and grabbed supper for Mr. and Mrs. O’Connor and myself. Then I headed for the hospital, knowing that this was going to be the last time I’d ever see Bryce still somewhat alive.

     I drove slowly and took a few back roads. Though I knew the roads well, I felt like I didn’t belong on them. As much as I would’ve said otherwise just a few months ago, I missed Michigan. I missed my mom and my dad. I missed Cassie. Well, at least sort of missed her.

     I missed Derek.

     If he had been here, he’d be able to comfort me. He always knew what to say and when to say it. He also knew when not to say anything at all.

     With a sigh I pulled into the hospital parking lot.

     Once inside, I headed toward the now-familiar hospital room. I was about to go into the room, but decided to sneak a glance in the room first. I saw Mrs. O’Connor hunched over Bryce shuttering because she was crying so hard. Mr. O’Connor caught my gaze and I gave him a sympathetic look. I knew he was trying to be the strong one, but it was pretty obvious that he was losing his spirit. He signaled for me to come inside.

     Quickly, I shut the door behind me, trying to prevent the whole hospital from hearing Mrs. O’Connor’s pain. “Hey.” I murmured to make sure she knew that I was there. She took me in a hug and we cried together.

     “Oh Samantha!” She wailed. “Why? Why does this have to happen to me?”

     “I don’t know.” I whispered. “I just don’t know.”

     While we rocked back and forth, Oliver touched the face of the only child he had left. The bandages were wrapped tightly around all the wounded areas, but Mr. O’Connor ignored them, gently caressing his face. Then he squeezed his eyes shut and whispered something under his breath continuously until his expression relaxed. When Oliver opened his eyes, he kissed his son’s forehead and slowly walked out the door, closing it quietly behind him.

     “Mrs. O’Connor.” I whispered. She looked up with teary eyes. “It’s almost time. We have to say goodbye.” I took her hand and pulled her toward Bryce. “Do you want me to leave the room?”

     She nodded.

     I left the room and sat against the wall, holding my knees with my arms. I knew after I said goodbye to Bryce, I’d have to be the one to call the nurse in. I wondered, for the first time, where the O’Connors would be going from here. I wouldn’t be able to stay for very long; I had to go back to Michigan. I had to be with my family and go to school. I had to learn how to ski and go snowshoeing with Charity. Most importantly, I had to explain myself to Derek. Though I knew he’d never forgive me for what I’d said, he still deserved an explanation.

     My thoughts had me more affected than I would’ve imagined. At the thought of going home, I began to cry. I was in over my head and this was becoming more than I could take. Being the “strong one” wasn’t something I could handle. As I tried gathering myself, I noticed Oliver across the room. He was doing exactly what I was doing.

     Minutes later, once I was composed, Mrs. O’Connor opened the door. She had her normal lifeless expression, but she attempted a smile. I slipped into the room and then it was only Bryce and me.

     “Hey you.” I sniffled, holding back the tears. “Why didn’t you just call me? I know you took drugs. It was in the blood samples they took.” I shook my head. “I just don’t understand.” My hand reached up to his face. “But I still love you. And that’s all that matters now. I hope you enjoy being with Brandon because that’s what you deserve. You’ve been through so much.” I kissed his forehead. “I’ll miss you, but you’ll be with God now.”

     When I was done talking to him, I cried. I’d thought that maybe if I came, he’d magically be better.

     Needless to say, I was wrong.

     Getting up from the cold hospital floor, I went to find the O’Connors and a doctor.

     “Are you ready?” I asked Oliver. He nodded in unison with his wife. We all knew that this was the best thing for him because life support is no life at all. All together, we found a doctor. We all piled into the little hospital room in anticipation. The doctor said a few things, but I had no idea what. Oliver held Mrs. O’Connor in his arms and she cried into his chest. The whole while, I blankly stared at Bryce and what the doctor was doing.

     It was nothing like the movies.

     The doctor said something before he did it. He shut the system down and it made a brisk noise. Everything was doing what it was supposed to do for the last time.

     And then there was nothing.

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Well? Are all my chapters flowing together or did I accidentally upload them out of order?