"I'm sorry for getting your shirt wet."
Phil had waited for Dan to stop crying then mention it was getting late and they should probably head home.
Not wanting to go back home, Phil offered to walk Dan to his place and even though it took a while Dan finally agreed and they were now outside.
"It's fine, it's just a shirt," Phil assured Dan. "You alright?"
"I think so. I mean, as selfish and stupid as it sounds I'm glad Joey's over with. But at the same time I'm still sad."
"I would feel the same way, it's okay."
Phil didn't like when things went silent but for some reason, things tend to go silent a lot around Dan.
"Have you ever been in a relationship?" Dan asked out of the blue and Phil was taken aback.
"No.. well, once in eighth grade but um.. yeah, it wasn't really a relationship." Phil answered and shrugged.
"Oh. Well, did you like them?" Dan continued.
Phil answered because he knew it was only fair; he had been nosy when asking Dan about Joey so just to even things out.
"No," Phil shook his head. "She was my best friend and we wanted to try something. We were both questioning our sexual orientation. We broke up two days later because we finally settled on the fact that she was lesbian and I was gay." Phil told Dan.
He had never told anyone except Skye that he was gay. He knew his parents would flip and people didn't need to know. It's not like out of the blue he'd come to school holding hands with a boy. Nobody ever liked him.
"She sounds like a good friend." Dan said.
"She was. She was my only friend." Phil kicked a rock at his feet. Skye was his first and only true friend. He was never gonna find someone like her.
"To answer your question... no, I didn't love him. Not truly, at least." Dan said quietly and Phil was glad he was being honest. It made him feel slightly better.
Phil nodded and they continued walking. They talked as they walked about school and moving to new places until they got to Dan's house.
It was quite big, it was bigger than any house Phil has ever seen. It was also very beautiful from the outside. He wondered what it looked like on the inside.
"Thanks for actually meeting me and walking me home. It means a lot." Dan said as they came to a stop.
"No problem, just call me or text me if you need anything." Phil replied and dug his hands in his pockets.
With nothing else to do, Phil turned ready to walk home and possibly get lost but Dan called his name quietly and Phil paused.
"This is stupid but.. can I have one more hug before you go?" Dan asked softly and shyly making Phil feel bubbly.
He turned and held open his arms slightly, inviting Dan into his arms.
Dan wrapped his arms around Phil's neck, hugging tightly.
It was so perfect, so peaceful and it felt nice to actually hug someone again like this. Phil didn't want to let go of Dan but he knew he had to at some point.
"Good night." Phil mused when they parted and he took a step backwards then turned to find his way home.
***
Despite getting yelled at for being out so late, getting slapped by his mother and getting no sleep, Phil showed up at school and forced himself to make it through every class until gym class came up and he finally could just sit and relax.
Phil thought nothing would make him feel better after getting screamed at by Matt and being told terrible things but then he saw Dan smiling at him and the horrible feeling in the pit of his stomach was replaced by the bubbly feeling he had when he hugged Dan.
Phil sat beside Dan, putting his bag aside and crossing his legs.
"Do you like Halloween?" Dan asked out of the blue and Phil turned his head to see Dan staring at him.
"Um, I've never actually celebrated it." Phil admitted, scratching the back of his neck.
Dan look mortified. "What?! Halloween is amazing!"
"I've heard- well, I used to when I was a kid. Now all I hear is 'Halloween is for babies'." Phil shrugged.
"Okay whoever said Halloween is for babies is lame like dude, Halloween is great! You can dress as whatever you please and go get free candy! Who doesn't like free candy that isn't poisonous?!" Dan exclaimed. He looked like an excited child and Phil giggled.
"It does sound pretty fun." Phil said and Dan clapped his hands together.
"It is! I haven't gone in probably two years because I had no one but I have you and I will show you how fun Halloween is!" Dan told Phil.
"How old are you?" Phil laughed and Dan snorted, rolling his eyes and leaning against the wall.
"I may be 17 but you will never be too old for dressing up."
The thought of celebrating Halloween for the first time excited Phil quite a lot, especially with Dan Howell.
"When's your birthday?" Phil asked Dan this time.
"June 11th, yours?"
"January 30th."
"You're older, no fair!"
"They're just dates!"
Dan pouted with hit bottom lip puckered out which Phil found incredibly adorable. The bubbly feeling in Phil's stomach was back, making Phil feel slightly shy. What was this feeling? He's never felt it before, he didn't know how to react to it so he simply ignored it.
"Phil?"
Phil glanced at Dan who was staring at him again- it wasn't really in a creepy way, it seemed to be more of an adoring way.
Fuck, Dan was cute. Fuck, did I really just think that?
"Phil, you're blushing."
Phil squeaked and covered his face, feeling it grow hot.
Dan laughed. "Don't worry, it's cute."
Phil chuckled and shook his head. He was actually laughing and not forcing it. He was actually smiling and didn't feel like absolute shit for once. He had a weird yet comforting bubbly feeling in his stomach (were they butterflies? No, they couldn't be) and it was all because of the boy sitting next to him.
Who the fuck was Dan Howell and what was he doing to Phil Lester?
*****
IM SUCH A SLOW UPDATER WOW SORRY but wOOOO PHAN
This was kinda short oops sORRY but here we gooooo now its getting to teh good shtuff
i am a terrible author who let me do this wOW okay im gonna leave before i type more weird things!
(TABINOF IS OUT GUYS GO BUY IT AND CRY BECAUSE I KNOW I WILL ALSO HALSEY IS QUEEN AND LISTEN TO TROYE'S SONGS AND PREORDER HIS ALBUM AND LISTEN TO NEW AMERICANA BY HALSEY AND WATCH PHIL'S NEW VIDEO #SPON)
byyeeee cx
