Friday mornings were supposed to be the best because it was almost the weekend. When the tv was turned on and the channel was on the news, the day didn't seem so exciting anymore.
Phil Lester, a seventeen year old boy had committed suicide.
Dan found Phil's lifeless body first, immediately calling his parents and oh god, the way Amanda screamed when she saw her dead son in Dan's arms was one of the worst things ever.
Dan found the note Phil had written along with Skye's and he knew he should have given it to Phil's parents first but he went ahead and read the letter Phil wrote.
I don't know who is gonna read this but who even cares?
I'm sorry. Kind of. I mean, I've wanted to do this for so long but I'm sorry I did it to anyone who cares. I am.
Dan, if you read this, fuck you. I hate you. You prick, I thought you cared. But at the same time, I love you. I love you so fucking much that I hate you for hurting me. Either way, I care about you, I love you.
Mum, Dad, I'm sorry. I don't know if you genuinely care to be quite honest but if you do, I forgive you. All those years that you beat me up and wasted your money on drugs and alcohol? It's okay, I guess. And I genuinely forgive you. Thank you for adopting me and trying your best. I love you guys.
To anyone else that reads this, I'm sorry you found this. But hey, don't be upset. I'm okay. Maybe not my body but I am. I promise. This is really deep, wow. I didn't mean for it to be. Sorry.
Bye world. It was nice being tortured by you.
Phil.
Dan had never cried so much in his entire life and he had never loved someone so much.
Dan showed the letter to Amanda and Matt who cried an awful lot.
A week before Christmas, this wasn't exactly how anyone pictured it.
Dan kept Phil and Skye's note. He cried for days and when his own parents asked him what was wrong, he unintentionally told them that his boyfriend had died.
Did his parents care? Nope. What did they do? Kick him out.
"No gay boy is a son of mine."
Surprisingly enough, Amanda and Matt let him stay at their place and Dan got to know them fairly well.
Phil's funeral took place in early January and Dan had never felt so empty.
Everything he cared about had disappeared. Phil was what he cared about and now, he lost him. He lost hope, he lost his reason to care or love. He just felt like a lifeless person and meaningless person on the earth.
Dan knew he shouldn't but life seemed pointless without Phil and after Phil's funeral, Dan said his last goodbyes and overdosed.
Hundreds of people die every day from suicide and each person that does is strong.
Why? Because they fought and they remained strong for that time that they were alive.
Phil was strong; he managed to live through the pain of his parents abusing him and still managed to forgive them despite their mistakes.
Dan was strong as well; he went through the pain of his parents attempting to make him "perfect" when really, him being himself was already perfect. And even though his parents kicked him out of their house and told him they never wanted to hear from him, they held a special place in his heart for raising him.
Suicide is never the answer but that doesn't make the people that have killed themselves any less important. They all have their own stories and they are all strong.
The end.
*****
Thank you so so so much to the people that have read, voted and commented, it really does mean a lot to me!
I don't really like this story to be honest but some of you do and it makes me happy that you enjoy it c: thank you so much for sticking till the end!
I'm sorry again if this triggered anyone, that wasn't my intention at all!
Thank you so much for reading and being here, I hope you are all having a wonderful day. If you are one contemplating suicide, please keep in mind that many people will miss you and I will miss you. If you need anyone, I'm here to talk to.
Thank you again for reading! I have other phan fictions if you wanna check those out and my work here is done!
Thank you!
Byyeeee
