The Secret Life of Poot Lovato

Delete It, Fat!

The two newborn twins were the cutest thing on earth. All the relatives were staring at them in awe, as they mumbled incomprehensible noises. And if Demi and Poot were so similar when they were only a few months old, the first differences started to become clear when the sisters passed the year of age.

One beautiful fall afternoon, while the twins were playing in their room, dad came in and Poot stared at him. Then, she started stuttering: "D... d..."

"Hurry, come here love! Poot is about to say her first words," dad screamed as his wife rushed into the room.

"D... d..."

"Daddy? Say daddy?"

"Delete it fat."

That was only the first sign Poot was different from all the other kids. At kindergarten, she would beat up the other kids' asses to snatch all the toys. One day she even scalped this other kid, Selena, because she was making fun of her name.

But there was one episode that changed everything. By the time Poot was 4 years old, she had no friends. No one would talk to her. Her twin sister Demi was already the most popular girl in the entire kindergarten, while Poot was the biggest loser. Poot was not happy about this indeed, so she decided she had to take revenge on all the kids that were ignoring her (everyone, basically) in order to have her fifteen minutes of attention.

Poot had the habit to hide in the girls' restroom all day. One morning, while she was sitting on the toilet, she overheard Selena and her group of girl friends talking shit about her. Poot had to do something, she could not endure this time. "Not today fatty, not today," she whispered to herself. For the first time in months, she got out of her shelter and locked the restroom door. Then she reached her enemy, grabbed her by her legs with all the strength she had and flicked her vagina so hard that Selena emitted her highest note ever. She did the same with all the other girls, and then she ran home.

Selena and her friends reported what had just happened to Demi, who was in shock. She didn't know what to do. She loved her sister, but at the same time she disliked her because she was such an embarrassment for her. After lucubrating for a while, she decided that the right thing to do was snitch out Poot's despicable actions to her parents.

When Demi got home, she was greeted by her two blank faced parents.

"Demi, daughter, we have to tell you about the choice we've made. Your twin sister Poot confessed to us the horrible things she's done to her friends. Flicking a vagina is never right, let alone twelve... and every human being should know that. We have decided to lock Poot up in our basement and leave her there for the rest of her days. She's a threat to our community, to our state, to our country. From now on, you're our only child. Poot no longer exists. Poot is dead."

"Fair enough," said Demi.