The Secret Life of Poot Lovato

#Pootrida

Demi was ready for her concert in Toronto. She was happy to leave the backstage and appear in front of the thousands of people that gathered in the Air Canada Centre just for her. The music started playing. As Demi sang her opening song, "Really Don't Care", she looked at the posters her fans were holding. Most of them said things like "your fatties love you" or "forever a fatty". Demi was surprised. Why would her fans promote obesity that way?

When, in the middle of the show, Demi asked her fans which song they wanted her to sing that day, all replied in unison: "D in My V! D in My V! D in My V!"

A confused Demi asked: "What? Who sings it?"

The crowd started singing Poot's song's chorus all together, and Demi was more confused than ever. "I genuinely don't know that song... I'll sing Since U Been Gone by Kelly Clarkson, it's one of my favorites, and I'm confident you'll love it too!"

The crowd protested. "Boo! We want D in My V!"

Demi was too embarrassed. She couldn't handle the situation, so she ran off stage and went home. She googled "D in My V" on her laptop and found hundreds of videos of Poot's performance at the kids' event. "I might be bipolar, I might do things and then forget... but I would NEVER sing something like that," Demi thought to herself. "Someone is posing as me!"

Demi jumped on the first airplane to Albuquerque and ran to her childhood home, where her parents still lived. She didn't even say hi to them. She kicked the basement door off and she started turning it upside down. She was literally fuming, throwing things in the air, looking for her twin sister.

After several minutes, when she noticed that there was no sign of life (or death) in the basement, she realized her sister had been free for God knows how long. "POOTRIDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" She screamed at the top of her lungs.

Demi immediately left the house. She was furious. Her weave was holding tight to her head as she was running to the closest police office.

"That bitch Pootrida Lovato keeps stealing my fucking identity and she's doing nasty ass things to my bitches and to my fans. Stop ha, clock ha, let ha rot in jail for the rest of ha life. You lazy asses better start working on the case NOW!" Demi ordered the astonished officers. They had no time to reply. Demi ran out of the office and went back to California, where she had every intention to find her evil sister who was ruining her life.

But she did a major mistake. On her way to the airport, she tweeted this: "@ddlovato: fuck bipolarity, my twin sister Poot has been posing as me and doing nasty things. I'm on my way to scalp that ugly bitch. #StopPoot2k15 #Pootrida"

Poot read the tweet, packed her bags, left her house, got on board on the first random plane at the Los Angeles airport, and left the country.

When Demi landed in LA, an officer stopped her.

"What now?" she asked nervously.

"You're Demi Lovato, right?" he asked.

"Yeah, what about me?"

"We've found your sister, Poot Lovato. She just left the country."

"WHERE IS POOTRIDA GOING?"

"To Finland."