The Secret Life of Poot Lovato

All Out of Luck, But Not All Out of Love

Poot threw Joob into a gorge in the beautiful Armenian mountains, but instead of a thud, she heard her own scream.

"What the fuck are you going?!" she said astonished as she saw what was happening. Joob was holding on for his life to Poot's pussy hairs, refusing to fall into the crevice and die.

"I love you too much to let you go," he said.

"But I don't!" she replied, trying to detach him from her private hairs. Everything she did was useless, he was grabbing her with too much strength. Until... "Look, the ice cream van!" she screamed excitedly.

"Where?"

Poot took advantage of the situation to grab his hands and throw him into the valley like a javelin. On her way back to her mountain house, she asked herself about the nature of her actions. Why did she suddenly hate Joob so much she felt the urge to smash him on Mount Ararat? Had he become too self-centered? Did fame get to his head? Or was she just not attracted to him anymore? Sure, she could've just dumped him, but she needed his money, so killing him was the easiest way.

Poot could no longer stay in Armenia. Everything there reminded her of Joob. She cooked her iconic psychedelic mushrooms soup, gave it to the kids in the neighborhood, and flew back to the States. All her friends (basically, Demi) seemed to have settled down happily. She was the only one who couldn't find peace. She'd taken so many chances, but nothing had worked for her. She was all out of luck, but not all out of love.

In the following weeks, she went out with a few Hollywood celebrities. First, she dated Luke Hemmings from the band 5 Seconds of Success, but being a whale she wasn't into penguins that much, so they didn't last long. Then, she went out with Wendy Williams, who wanted to be the man in their relationship—and Poot couldn't have allowed this. And again, she kidnapped her long-time crush Shawn Mendes and drugged him in order to get him interested in her, but even when he was high he confirmed he wasn't interested in female genitals.

Poot was sitting in her room, thinking about her tragic love live. "Stressed, depressed, but well dressed," she said to herself.

"You should try a dating app," Demi suggested. "That's how I met most of my producers!"

"I really should!" Poot said. She instantly downloaded an app, and waited for someone to write to her. She set a bucket full of maggots—her favorite dinner—as her profile picture, with herself smiling behind it. It only took a few minutes for a girl to contact her. She went by the name of "potheadrebecca". Her display picture was a cloud of smoke, probably weed.

"Hey sexy!" Rebecca started.

"Hey there, hot smoke cloud," Poot replied.

"Wanna meet up at my place?"

"Sure, why the fuck not!"

Poot sailed from California to Lithuania for Rebecca, and when she finally reached the small rural village of Geniai, she looked for her date's house. The address she had given to her lead to a nice country house with a huge yard. A tall, blonde, skinny girl with blue eyes opened the door, leaving out a thick cloud of weed smoke. She was very attractive, and for the first time in her life Poot felt something more than mere physical attraction.

But suddenly, she realized she had already seen this girl... "But wait, you're Taylor Swift, aren't you?"

"No it's Becky."

"Oh, well, nice to meet you, Becky," Poot said as she stepped inside the aromatic house.

____________________________

This is the end of the biography of Pootrida Devilonne Lovato. She finally found love, and now it's time to let her enjoy some well-deserved privacy. Aren't you happy for her? :D

I posted a quick video on YouTube to introduce myself and to answer the most frequently asked questions about this story, make sure to check it out! :)