The Secret Life of Poot Lovato

Poisoned Suppository

Taylor Swift was determined to eliminate Katy Perry for putting her discography on Spotify, and the best way to do it was by asking Poot Lovato to flick her vagina, discombobulate her, BBQ her, and throw her ashes into the Arctic Sea.

"Hey Pootie girl. I'm sorry I sued you, I've realized your song doesn't even sound like mine that much so we're no longer seeing each other in court. May I ask you a small favor? This one female singer fucked up my computer and my album sales, is there a way you could maybe make her regret it by... umm... I don't know, killing her and feeding the whales with her ashes? You know who I'm talking about. Love, your bestie."

Poot listened to Taylor's vocal message. She thought about it a little, and in the end she had no doubt she knew the person her bestie was talking about. Taylor was begging her to eliminate Justin Bieber, who had been on vacation in Papeete for about two years. Poot couldn't miss the opportunity to stretch a butthole, so she jumped on her private yacht and sailed to Polynesia.

Justin was having a good time there. He was at a friend's wedding party, smoking a blunt and getting drunk. Poot was spying on him, dressed as a waitress. When he was high and drunk enough, Poot changed her outfit into a sexy one, reached Bieber, and asked him if he wanted to go to a secluded place.

"Hello random guy I've never seen or heard of in my entire life, do you want to try this?" Poot said while winking at him.

"Uhh yeah hihi, let's do it mama! I'm Justin Bieber by the way," a high Justin said giggling a bit, already excited for what was about to happen.

"Nice to meet you Jolene, I'm Gertrude," Poot replied.

The two went back to Poot's yacht making sure no one would see them and went inside Poot's bedroom. There, she started to undress herself in front of him. Justin was staring at Poot in awe as she undressed him.

As he was ready to jump on her, Poot said: "By the way, I'm a top. I never bottom. Sorry!"

She grabbed him by his legs, turned him around, and planted a huge suppository into his anus. He let out a major scream of pain and pleasure. Then, Poot announced: "Oops... I think I gave you a poisoned suppository. Sorry!"

Before Justin could say anything, he was gone. Poot sailed north to Alaska, where she knew a group of whales, and served them Justin for dinner. When the news about Justin's loss were announced, Taylor thought to herself: "Well, I didn't exactly ask for that, but I hated him anyway."

Now that she was not in trouble anymore, Poot could leave the US to concoct a plan to eliminate her sister. In the end, she had already killed several people, but not the one she truly hated and wanted to take revenge on. She didn't care about being famous. She didn't want to be rich. She just wanted to live her life free and without the person who pretended she didn't exist for years breathing the same air as her.