Not Sure If It Matters

We'll Be Okay

Patrick had fallen asleep in Pete's embrace. Pete laid him down in the bed and quietly walked out. He softly closed the door and started crying. He leaned his head against the door sobbing. He just was devastated. He felt stupid for not noticing. It hurt to know that he could have had another son or maybe a daughter. Pete stopped crying once he heard someone coming up the stairs. He wiped all his tears and ran a hand through his hair. He looked to see it was Andy.

"Hey Hurley" Pete said trying to act casual. Andy smirked cause they heard him sobbing. That's why he volunteered to check on him.

"Hey dude. You guys okay?"

"Yeah. Just uh-" Pete looked down not sure what to say. Andy saw him start crying. He went and put an arm around his shoulder in a comforting manner. Pete just started sobbing again making Andy hug him. "H-how di-didn't I notice?" Pete sobbed out.

"Notice what?" Andy asked confused.

"Our baby" Pete mumbled as he was slowly stopped sobbing, but tears were still escaping.

"Dylan?"

"No. God" Pete wiped his tears and rubbed his eyes. "He was pregnant and he had a miscarriage"

"Oh my god. I'm so sorry" Andy said understanding Pete's sadness. "Is Patrick okay?"

"Yeah. That's why he's been like that. He's asleep right now" Pete said.

"Let's get some food. You must be hungry" Andy said patting his back.

"Starving" Pete said heading downstairs.

"Da" Dylan said as he saw Pete. He still couldn't say Dad fully, but Pete found it cute how he said it. Dylan was sitting in his Grandma's lap, playing with some toys.

"Hey buddy" Pete said as he picked him up and kissed his cheek. Dylan just gave his cute little smile to Pete and was playing with Pete's jacket.

"We were waiting till you guys came down to start dinner. Where's Patrick?" Patricia asked.

"He fell asleep. I'm sure he won't mind if we start dinner without him" While Pete was talking Andy was whispering to Joe what happened. Joe looked at Pete with sad eyes after what his fiancé told him.

"Are you sure?" Patricia asked as she grabbed Dylan from him.

"Yeah. He probably jus-" Pete stopped short since Joe came up and hugged him tightly. Pete hesitantly hugged him back since he didn't know why he was.

"I'm so sorry man" Joe whispered in his ear. He really felt bad for his best friend. He can't imagine losing a child.

Pete just tightened his hand on Joe's shirt. He didn't want to think about it again.

He looked over Joe's shoulder to see everyone looking at them slightly confused. Andy though looked at him with tears in his eyes. Pete knew that Joe and Andy cared about him and Patrick, but he didn't know they cared this much.

Pete pulled out of the hug and nodded his head. He was too scared to talk due to the fear of breaking down again.

Everyone looked at each other and went to the dinning room. Pete sat down next to Joe and he left the seat next to him empty. Dylan had found his way back to his Father's arms. He just cuddled into his chest as Pete ate.
Pete tried to pay attention to what they were talking about, but he couldn't. The voices in his head were growing. He didn't know how when he took his meds this morning. "Da-da" Dylan said pointing at the door. Pete look to not see Patrick standing there

Patrick had walked in quietly and looked at everyone happy. Then his eye landed on Pete. He was looking at his food pushing it around with his fork. His eyes didn't have that spark of happiness in them like before. They were sad and broken. Pete had his other hand on Dylan's back. It looked like he needed to touch him to know that everything's okay.

As soon as Dylan called for him, he went next to the door to hid. He felt himself crying due to the fact that he made Pete like that. He made him unhappy. He made him not be the real Pete. The happy, hyper, joke telling Pete.

"Patrick" Pete had called out. Patrick wiped all his tears with the back of his hands and walked into the room. Everyone was staring at him with worried eyes. He wondered if his husband told them everything.

"Hey baby" Pete said since no one else was talking. Patrick just walked over to Pete and kissed his cheek. Dylan started moving so Patrick can pick him up which he did.

"Do you want me to serve you a plate, sweetie?" Patricia asked her son.

"No. I'm fine mother. I'm not really hungry" Patrick said.

"Do you wanna sit down?" Pete asked looking up at Patrick.

"No. I'm fine Peter" Patrick wasn't looking at him, instead at his son who was in his arms. He was looking at the person that means the world to him.

"You wanna talk?" Pete asked.

"Please" Patrick said with a broken voice. "Do you mind Gerard?"

"No. Not at all" Gerard sid taking Dylan from Patrick. Pete was waiting by the door holding it open as he was waiting for Patrick. He walked to the living room and Pete followed.

They say down on the sofa with a little gap between them. They just sat there in utter silence.

"I shouldn't have told you" Patrick said looking straight ahead.

"Why do you say that?" Pete asked looking at Patrick.

"Cause you're not happy anymore. Don't try to lie to me and say you're fine"

"I'm not gonna say I'm happy cause I'm not. I feel stupid for not noticing and sad cause we could of had another kid" Pete told him truthfully since he wanted the truth.

"You can leave me if you want to"
"I'm not gonna leave you Patrick. I promised I won't and I don't break promises" Pete rested his hand on Patrick's thigh. Patrick looked down at his hand and placed his left hand on top of his. Pete lightly smiled at the sight of Patrick's wedding ring. It looked so perfect resting on his pale finger. He can't imagine it not being there.

Patrick leaned his head against Pete's shoulder and Pete leaned his head over his. "Are we gonna be okay?" Patrick asked like he was a little boy scared.

"We're gonna be okay lunchbox" Patrick moved his head so he can kiss Pete then he put his head back on his shoulder.

"I love you, Pete"

"I love you too, Patrick. Forever. Even after death" Patrick smiled as he pressed his face into Pete's neck. They both knew they would be fine. Just another obstacle to go through.