Maybe

Chapter 12: While They're With Me

     "Richard?"

     Richard quickly turned around and went to her, "Yes, Rachel? Are you okay? Does anything hurt?"

     She smiled a bit, "Wala naman, umm... Paul, anak, can you go to the house and get some comfortable clothes for me, please?"

     "Yes, Ma. You need your laptop too?" Paul.

     "Yes, please. Mag-iingat ka ha? Sige, you go ahead na," Rachel.

     Paul exited the room. "Rach, do you want anything to eat? Hindi ka pa kumakain since kahapon," Richard.

     "Sige, but sanda---" Rachel closed her eyes tight and gripped the side rail of the bed in her left hand. Migraine.

     Richard took her hands off the rail and placed it in his then rubbed her back, "Okay ka lang?"

     "Rich, you don't have to--," Rachel said but Richard cut her off.

     "No. Go ahead. Kahit gaano kahigpit, just hold my hand," Richard said while feeling Rachel squeeze his hand according to how her head was throbbing.

     Once she was settled, he wanted to ask a favor, "Umm, Rach? Can we talk?"

     "Oh, diba we talked na about the kids? I said you can see th--"

     "No, about us," Richard.

     "What about us, Richard?"

     "I hope na," he sighed, "Did anything change when you knew about the truth?"

     Rachel contemplated, Should I tell him? Am I ready? Is it time for him to know? But instead, "Well, except for now I know what really happened, wa-wala naman."

     "Oh. Well Rach, ang tagal niyong nawala. Pwede ba ako makiusap sayo. Can you do me a favor? Tatanggapin ko kung anong sagot mo," Richard looked down.

     Rachel felt her heart beating faster... faster... and faster. "Rachel, pwede ba na maging okay tayo sa isa't-isa? I mean, I'm not asking for you to forgive me and go back to normal, but sana maging maayos tayo to qeachq other. Kahit habang nandito lang kayo. Sana walang awkwardness between us. Kahit na for the sake of our kids, 'wag na for me. I just don't want to give them a hard time. It's a vacation, I don't want to be a hassle for the three of you."

Rachel didn't know what to say. Part of her wanted to just break down crying and hug him, but part of her was just... numb. Because of the pain, maybe? "A-Anong ibig mong sabihin?"

Richard sighed, "Never mind, Rach," he stood up and fixed his polo, "I'll just buy coffee saglit," Rachel was stunned when Richard kissed her temple before leaving her alone in her room.

It took her a second to let it all sink in. Next thing she knew there were tears slowly trickling down her face. Why do you have to make it so hard for me, Richard? I would love to go back to before but I'm not sure if we still can. Lord, if I can't forget the pain Richard has given me kahit gusto ko, please take Richard away from me hanggang kaya ko pa na wala siya, baka masanay ako. Mas lalo pa kaming masasaktan.
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A few days past and Rachel was ready for discharge. She was still feeling a little bit queasy but since it was bearable, she keep it to herself. Richard parked his car in front of the lobby and went outside while watching Rachel and Paul slowly approaching.

Rachel felt her head throb a bit, she gripped the metal handle bar by her side, "Anak, mauna ka na. Ilagay mo na yung mga gamit sa kotse."

When Richard saw her stop her tracks and let Paul go ahead, he knew something was up. He immediately approached her, "Okay ka lang?"

"Medyo nahihilo lang," Rachel answered. Richard sighed upon hearing this and put his arm around her waist, "Richa--"

"Tara na, dahan dahan ka lang. Ingat baka matumba ka. Hawak ka saakin if you need to."

     Rachel let go of the metal bar and walked with Richard with a grip of his hand. Richard assisted her in the car and put her seat belt on.

     During their ride home, Rachel felt nauseous. Richard watched over her from time to time and he noticed that she was becoming pale once more.

     "Rach. Rach? Okay ka lang?" Richard asked but he didn't receive an answer. He saw her jerk forward with a slight resistance in her mouth.

     "Paul, reach in the lalagyanan sa likod ng seat ko. Paki abot yung plastic," He immediately opened it wide and gave it to Rachel, "Itatabi ko lang 'to."

     Richard parked the car beside the road and held the plastic for Rachel, "Meron pa?" she nodded and he rubbed her back, "Sabi ko sayo bukas pa dapat tayo nagpadischarge eh."

     "Tapos ka na?" Rachel nodded. Richard reached in his pocket and brought out a single stick of Double Mint gum. He opened it and put it near her mouth, which she accepted.

     Richard took the plastic bag filled with vomit, tied it shut, and threw it away. Not one sign of aversion. They headed home and he immediately told Paul to get his mother settled in her room, "'Wag kang pasaway, ha? May sakit si Mama. Ikaw na bahala sakanya, alagaan mo. I'll just grab some paperwork sa office then dito ko na lang gagawin. I'll be back."

     After he picked up his paperwork in his office, he went to Rachel's favorite local bakery and bought her a box of brownies. He remembered how he'd bring home brownies home after work to make her feel better when she'd get nauseated, even during her pregnancies.

Flashback...

Richard parked the car inside the gate. He took the box of brownies from the back seat and headed inside.

"Rach?" No one answered but he heard a faint snore coming from the living room. He smiled.

     Richard saw Rachel sleeping on the couch. Maybe she'd fallen asleep waiting for him. He tucked the strands of hair that was on her face behind her ear. Richard traced her facial features, admiring each and every one of them. He smiled again and he was about to stand up, her eyelids began to twitch. She started to turn repeatedly. Since she was pregnant, Richard got worried. He wondered if she was having a bad dream. So, to wake her up, he planted a soft kiss on her cheek, letting his lips linger a bit on her soft skin. It was effective, she slowly started to open her eyes. But surprisingly, there were tears that fell.

     "Promise me na hindi mo 'ko iiwan," Rachel sobbed.

     "Rach,--"

     "Would you just do it."

     "Fine, I swear and promise to always be by your side and never leave," She nodded but still proceeded into burying her face in her
hands.

     "Rach, what's wrong?" Richard said while trying to take her hands away from her face.

     She didn't bother talking. Instead, she gave him a tight embrace. Richard hugged her back, rubbing her back, "Was it a bad dream? C'mon, Love, tell me. What's wrong, hm?"

     Rachel nodded, "Anong nangyari sa panaginip mo? If it was me leaving you, don't worry. That will never happen."

     Rachel nodded again. She pulled away from the hug and wiped her tears, "Okay ka na?"

     "Okay na, kasi alam kong lagi kang nandyan," this made Richard's heart leap.

     "I know that nagsuka ka nanaman this morning," he took the box of brownies from the table, "Here. For you, my love."

     "T-Thank you."

     "Sorry nga pala, I came home late. Napuyat ka pa tuloy, masama sa kalagayan mo yan. Dito ka pa din tuloy nakatulog. Tara, let's go upstairs na," He gave her a peck on the lips before taking her hand and intertwining it with his as they made their way up the staircase.