Pretend This didn't Happen

The Realtor

Gary went outside and began to go down the driveway, setting his pace to a jog which carried him to the Diner just as Devin and the realtor pulled into the parking lot. Devin and the realtor approached Gary and the realtor extended his hand "hello" the man spoke "my name is Anish." The two men shook hands and Gary held the door open for Devin and Anish to enter the Diner before following the two men inside where they found a window booth for coffee and the contract signing. The contract was signed at the before mentioned terms that were agreed upon, leaving Gary with $1, 323, 463.24 in his bank account.

"Gary," Anish asked "would you like a ride home?" The three men piled into Devin's SUV and drove back to the house. "It's been nice to meet you Gary, sir" Anish said as Devin drove "I hear you are quite the music player" the East Indian felllow spoke almost giddy like his former wattpad fans. "I will need to see your show sometime." Gary then dug through his wallet before producing Jerome's card and handing it to Anish before getting out of the SUV at the home he now owned. "Thank you" Anish said "I will surely come to see you perform."

"OK, that sounds good to me," Gary reponded "I won't be playing there for the next week but Sherry took my place there while I am away so the show does go on." Gary closed the door to the SUV. 

Gary entered the suite and was met by Andrea "I hope it's good." Andrea looked expectingly as Gary put his briefcase on the table "what is it?"

"We now own this house and the 2.83 acres of land it sits on." Gary observed Andrea's  expression fade "What's the matter?"

"I was hoping for something good to eat." Andrea smiled "I'm sure you have something planned in celebration of this new venture we've entered, we are now home owners, my love." Andrea began to put her jacket on. "So where are you taking me?"

"Hmm," Gary grumbled "I had not thought that far" Gary explained. "Where would you like to go?" Gary aks his beloved, "It's your choice."

"My choice, huh?" Andrea pondered pressing her index figer to her lips "I would like to go to Valemount, British Columbia." Andrea sneered "I want to eat a steak and potato cooked by you over a campfire, meh." Andrea stuck her tongue out, making a silly face at Gary "How do you like them apples?"

"Wow!" Gary exclaimed "I love them" Gary explained "but that is one hell of a drive." Gary asked "are you up for driving that distance?"

"Of course" Andrea answered "I am," explaining "that way we can also stop for the poutine of your choice."

"You convinced me" Gary stated. "Let's go." At Andrea's proclaimation that they should prepare for the trip, "for sure!" Gary explained "get your jacket on, we'll fill the gas tank and go." Gary farted and smiled "we'll shop for everything we are going to need in Edmonton."

"Now you've convinced me," Andrea shuddered "you are a stinky bastard." Grabbing her coat and purse, pinching her nose passing Gary and heading to the van once outside. Gary followed her laughing. 

"About seventeen hours from here I remember there being an amazing butcher shop," Gary explained "it's a ways off the beaten path but if memory serves me correctly the best steak I've ever eaten was from there. I only wonder if the place is still there."

"Seventeen hours, eh?" Andrea looked over at Gary buckling himself into the passenger seat of the vehicle. "How many suprises do you have for me hubby?" Andrea asked curiosly batting eyelashes.

"Suprises?" Gary pondered "OH, I've been all over this country when I was younger. Since then there has been oil spills and other environmental damages done. It'll be nice to see if I can even recognize these areas any longer" Gary explained. "I do think we should go through a drive thru and get some fast food for the journey though." Gary stated "it's going to be quite a trip."

"Sounds like it" Andrea stopped at a red light and leaned across the vehicle and kissed Gary on the cheek. "I am so lucky to have a personal navigator through this treacherous terrain."

Gary chuckled at that "The treacherous terrain, my dear, is right here." Gary explained "more damage has been done to humanity in these civillised cities than has ever been done in the wilderness areas of our planet." Gary looked over at Andrea as they pulled up to the drive thru window and ordered "You see there is even three percent of this meals ingredients that do not need to be labelled by law." Gary smiled "you didn't hear that from me."

"OH don't worry baby, that's no longer a conspiracy," Andrea explained "it's common knowledge that these are eat at your own risk establishments." The two shared a laugh on the way to the next window to get their mystery meat cheese burgers and slightly potatoe french fries.

"That'll be $63.75 thank you." The teenager inside the window had very good customer service skills Gary figured worthy of the change from the four twenty dollar bills.

"That was very generous of you" Andrea stated "seeing as that was more than her hourly wage I am certain you made her day."

"Yes," Gary admitted "it's a sad thing when these billion dollor corporations can't afford to give their employees a living wage to poison the public. Or has that changed too?" Gary rolled a smoke for the start of their cross country journey. Between puffs of his cigarette "no they'd rather spend their money to develop more tastey and addictive ingredients that poison the consumer for their bottom line pocket books. I'm sorry, it just pisses me off when I think about it." Gary finished his cigarette and butt it in the ashtray that Andrea had added to the van for him "with that said, let's eat."