Pretend This didn't Happen

Cancer sticks

"That's good baby," Gary mentioned "I am going to lay down for a while when we get home. I'm feeling kind of ill," Gary explained "I don't know what's come over me."

Andrea shook her head and looked directly at her husband "It's probably the poutine still stuck in your intestines, Gary." Focusing again on her driving and the freeway ahead of her "You know if ever there was a meal to cause a heart attack, that'd be it."

Gary chuckled and groaned "Yeah, you're probally right. OH," Gary groaned in pain "remind me why us humans are such suckers for punishment."

"OH hubby," Andrea gave Gary a sympathetic look "you're just stupid." Andrea said "you had to kick off our alien experience grounded and feeling like shit," Andrea explained "you're only keeping with most of humanity. I'm going to make us a nice parsley and lentil salad with lemon dressing when we get home" Andrea said. "It should help get that shit outta your system."

"Yeah," Gary groaned "you take such good care of me," explaining "that's why I love you" Gary took another cigarette from the pack and sparked it. Gary took a deep pull from his smoke and farted "OH," he sighed with relief "all better now."

Crunching her nose and squinting her eyes "speak for yourself. Man you stink. Is that what kept you safe before I came along?" Rolling down her window also and turning on the air conditioner, shaking her head "you better take a look behind us and see if our daughter is still breathing after that one" Andrea retorted. 

"Yeah," Gary chuckled "It may have very well been, anyone that ever tried to get close to me could have been frightened off by my skunk medicine."  Gary looked over his shoulder at his daughter "I think the smell may have knocked her unconscious but she is still breathing."

Andrea lauged "I have to admit though, I like your stench more so than those" Andrea pondered. "what did you call them earlier? Ah yes, Cancer sticks." Sticking out her tongue at Gary "you smell like a stinky ass cigarette." Andrea said "let me rephrase that, stinky ass cancer stick."

"Shh" Gary pursed his lips "the aliens are listening." Gary laughed. "You have to understand these little bastards don't have a conscience and only do as they're told." Gary explained "I have mine returning falty cancer cells to their senders. Don't go messing that up for me babe." The couple shared a good laugh over that one."

"Seriously though hubby," Andrea stated as they drove into the mobile home park "you really should quit smoking."

"I know baby," Gary looking his wife deep in the eyes as she put the vehicle into park outside their home "I will, I promise." Gary further explained "My alien has agreed to help me with that when it's time."

"OH please," Andrea shook her head at Gary through the side door while taking Angareas from her car seat "you just went a year without smoking?"

This wiped the smirk right off Gary's face and he looked dumbfounded "did I have a choice? If you remember correctly I could not speak until my next cigarette either. So I am just going to keep with this smoking shit, and loving the alien for it." Gary explained "that little grey bastard owes me anyway for sparing him." 

Andrea shook her head in disbelief, laughing and whispering to Angareas "your daddy has lost his marbles, girl." Andrea kissed her daughter on the cheek before going inside.  

Puffing on another cigarette before going inside "don't think I didn't hear you two conspirators" Gary called from outside. "Besides, I had my marbles taken away after a few of my stupid friends choked on them."