Wish I wasn't so shy

Bye Jules

Today was the day. Julian peacefully snored next to me, and I took in every inch of his face, his neck, his arms, everything. I hated to think I'd be leaving this in four hours.

The last three days were hectic. I didn't go to any of my classes because I wanted to spend as much time as I could with Julian. We had a long talk about this whole situation, and he said he'd be waiting for me. We both promised to be faithful, we even crossed our hearts. I will admit that those days were also filled with a lot of sex.

Julian stirred in his sleep, slowly opening his eyes. I scooted closer to him, kissing his chin. He sighed. He held me close to him and didn't say anything to each other for the longest time, not even a good morning.

"I should get up", I groaned.
"Or you could stay for awhile." He said. I felt like shit hearing him say that. I know he didn't intend on making me feel this way, but it hit me hard. I sympathetically looked at him. He kissed me roughly, smooshing my lips against his. We both wanted to pretend it was like any other day.

I was about to get up when he pulled me back down, planting soft kisses on my jaw.
"Julian, please don't do this."
"Do what", he said between kisses. He knew exactly what he was doing, but last he let me go.

I showered, brushed my teeth, and got dressed in comfy clothes. Julian lied there the whole time watching me. Which reminded me that I had his present. I looked inside my drawer and got it out. It was a journal.

"Here."
"What is it?"
"Your birthday present, so you can write songs for me." He opened it up but I stopped him. "I wrote something in there, don't look at it now." He obeyed, looking at the cover in deep thought.

I grabbed his hand, bringing it up to my lips. "I love you", he said.
"I do too. A lot. And I'm sorry." My eyes were watering.
"Maya, it's okay. You have to do this, you have to see your family in a time like this." A tear ran down my face. Julian quickly wiped it way, kissing my cheek. "Let's have some breakfast."

I rubbed my eyes, nodding my head. He pulled me into the kitchen, making us each a bowl of Lucky Charms. "So, we have another show in 2 weeks. You might not make it but I just wanted to let you know", Julian spoke.
"That's amazing. You're gonna be huge and famous now. You'll be a rockstar", I chuckled.
"There's seven billion people on earth, I doubt I'm going to be famous."
"Well I have faith in you."

He looked up at me through his bangs, chewing his cereal with a cute grin. I smiled, bringing the bowl to my lips to drink the sugary mint tinted milk. I drank most of it, stopping to catch my breath. Julian laughed.

"What?" I asked.
"You have a milk mustache", he said, then kissed me. When his lips left mine, I wiped the top of my mouth with the back of my hand.
"You can't even grow a mustache Jules."
"I can too", he protested. I laughed, putting my head in my hands. "Can not", I whispered.

"Shush." He gave in, hugging my waist and resting his head on my chest.
"Having fun there Casablancas?" I teased.
"Yes." He smiled. "You think we have time for some fun?"

"Are intending that you want to have sex?" I huffed.
"Not unless you don't want to. I just want to explore your body one more time before you leave." He had his head resting in my shoulder now.

I looked at him, our faces centimetres away. "Sure", I whispered, looking at his lips. He instantly attacked mine and put his hand under my shirt. He roughly grabbed my breast over the material of my bra while I fisted his hair. I sucked on his neck, leaving another hickey. Over the days, some of the other ones have gone away.

His breathing became heavy. "Let's go to your room", he huffed. I nodded my head, cupping his face in my hands. Not once did we break the kiss. Julian led the way.

He picked my up; I wrapped my legs around him. He had me pinned up on the wall but then dropped me down my bed. He went to his knees, tugging the waistband of my sweatpants down to ankles.

I bit my lip, staring at him with my needy eyes. His were clouded with lust. "We'll do anything you want." He growled. I could feel his breath on my inner thigh.
"Anything?"

• • •

I dressed as quickly as I could and got all my luggage together. Julian threw on his shirt, pants and his Chuck Taylor's. He helped me take everything into my car and off to the airport we went.

He had one hand on the stirring wheel and the other was holding mine. We talked about different things to distract from the sorrow and loneliness we'd be feeling in 40 minutes.

Before we knew it, the airport came into view. Julian parked in a spot he probably was suppose to and walked me to through the airport. After going through all the security shit, we reached the gates. The plane didn't start boarding for another ten minutes, so we spent most of it hugging.

"Maya, you mean the world to me and I promise to call you everyday. And tell your family I'm sorry about the loss. I'll miss you." I couldn't see his face, for it was hiding in the crook of my neck, but I could hear the tears building up in his eyes.

"Oh fuck, don't make me cry", I giggled. "Make sure to tell the guys were I am and have fun with the band stuff. I'm so proud of you by the way. And be healthy. Promise me you won't drink too much?" I pleaded.

"I'll try, for you."

"Flight 145, Pennsylvania. Now boarding."

"Fuck. Julian Casablancas, I love you."
"Maya Rosetta, I love you more." I could see the tears now and I couldn't help but cry a bit myself. We kissed for the longest time, until they call for my flight again. I slowly backed away, our hands seperating. And then our hands were no longer touching and Julian no longer contained his tears. He was trying not to make me feel bad but even I couldn't stop crying. I walked to the flight attendant and handed him my ticket. I constantly looked back at Julian and I was just glad he was still there.

"I know it's always hard to leave a loved one", the attendant said, "Have a safe trip."
"Thank you", I croaked out. I took one last look at Julian, blowing a kiss. He caught it, bringing it to his cheek. He always had the ability to be cute in such a sad time. One last look, and I was walking through the terminals. Good bye Julian.

AN: 😱IM SORRY I HAD TO DO IT!! Got some ideas coming along so look out for that ;) And can we just talk about something for a second? We know Jules is amazing but personally he's reached his full potential. Idk if he can become more amazing than he already is, I love him with all my heart because he's such an amazing person. Sorry I just wanted to take this time to appreciate him. Also alknil YOU DID IT GIRL CONGRATS!!!! I was reading the story and was just dying, wish I had the confidence to do that