Under Control

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"Honey, I'm home!"
Julian's loud drunk voice boomed through my apartment and abruptly woke me up. He giggled, walking over to me. Of course he went out and got drunk, why do I even continue to have some hope in him? He tried scooting on to the couch with me, but I sat up.

"Honestly Julian? God...I knew this was going to happen. I thought that now that you knew you'd be a father, you'd clean up your act a little." I fumed, storming into the kitchen to find some comfort food. Julian quickly followed behind me.

"Oh don't be so dramatic, Maya. It's not even born yet. I need to live life before its ruined", he slurred.
"You really think this baby is going to ruin you're life? You're the only one who is capable of doing that, you ass!" I screamed, turning my back on him and rummaging through the pantry. He threw his head back and groaned at the ceiling.

"Come on baby, don't be like this." His voice became soft and he approached me from behind, wrapping his warm arms around my waist. He reeked of alcohol. I shrugged him off, taking out a box chocolate chip cookies.

"Don't fucking touch me, okay? You told me you'd control yourself, but you have no control." I shoved a cookie in my mouth, chewing angrily.
"You know what? I can do what ever the fuck I want because I am an adult and all you do is pester me when I'm trying to have fun. Once we have this kid, we'll be boring and miserable and it'll just cry and shit. It's going to get in the way of my life." He pointed a finger to his himself, furrowing his eyebrows.

I laughed. "It's getting in the way of your life? Do you realise what I have to go through? Did you drop out of college so you can have enough time and money for this baby's future? Are you giving birth to it? Do you have to carry around a growing human in your god damn stomach for nine months!? You're the one who put it in me in the first place!" I was nearly yelling at the top of my lungs at almost 1 in the morning, was this how my night was going play out?

That shut him up. He didn't have anything to say and had no right to say anything. I fast-walked to my room, taking the cookies with me and slamming my door. Julian knocked, twisting the knob and begging for an invitation in, but it was locked. He repeatedly tapped his head on my door. After a while, it went silent and I was sure he left. I was doubting life and I was doubting ever finding happiness with Julian and his child in the same picture.

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