Twilight- fire and ice. An eternal flame

I don't own any if these characters they belong to Stephanie Meyer

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"Hey ness". James husky voice whispers as he walks in the door. "Hey jake" I smile, he grins at me as he shakes his shaggy, jet black hair sending tiny droplets of water spinning towards me. "Jake" I groan, "I'm all wet now"

"Not as wet as your gonna be" he grins again, and before I know it he's wrapped me in a tight hug, completely soaking me with rain from the raging storm outside.

"See now we match" he whispers into my neck his arms still around me. As if both being soaked would even up any differences between us, I had heard the story's I know what Jacob deserves, and it's not me, he deserves someone who can grow up with him, lead a life with him, grow old, have children, grandchildren, I can't give him anything but an eternity of living with vampires.

And that's why he can't know, why I can't tell him, he can't know, if he ever want to live a normal life he can't know that I love him more than my own life and more, he can't know.

"Hmph" I hear mum clear her throat as I turn to look at her smiling face, pushing jake away knowing that dad is where ever mum is. Mums smiling like hell.

"Renesme" she starts, "Carlisle wants to see you" big surprise there, Carlisle has wanted to check me up basicly everyday now, I'm only 5 1/2 but I feel like an 16 year old human, Carlisle says that my body is changing a lot now and in strange ways, he describes it like how humans go through puberty, but he said of course I'm a lot more special.

I know that I have to go in there, I have to go into Carlisles "office" and be checked again, I push jake away he knows how I hate him or anyone being there while I get checked. It makes me feel, more abnormal, if thats possible. He smiles encouragingly at me as I walk towards the door.

Calm down renesme! I scold myself, I'm acting like the man sitting in there isn't my grandfather, like I'm going to see a human doctor.

"Hello renesme" he greets me warmly and I mutter a quick hello back.

"Why don't you just hop up on the bed while I grab the measuring tape" he smiles. I know he'll be back from the lounge with the measuring tape before I get to bed thats only a few steps away, I hate being slow.

Mum says she knows how it feels, she said that I was lucky, she said she was human speed which was a lot harder than whatever I am. But I think that even then she knew she would become a vampire. She always knew. In her hert she always knew that dad would make her a vampire, and that then they would be equal. But I won't. My whole life all I've ever been is a half and half, not really belonging on either side. I'm to slow and clumsy and strange to be a perfect vampire, and to fast and agile and weird to be human. And from dads face when I asked, ill never be a vampire, because everyone says the process could kill me me. But I think it's my choice and at least if I was a full vampire maybe jake would realise that I'm not good for him, that he can do so much better.

I hop up on the bed with white sheets Carlisle waiting patiently behind me, maybe if I turn then maybe ill get some patience too.

"I'm just going to measure around your waist" he speaks quietly and kindly, I raise my arms giving him a clear path to my waist. I feel the cold tip to the measuring tape through my top and shiver slightly. Carlisle smiles at me in a "well done" sort of way, ever since I was born I have had to. Have these check ups. I've always hated having to lie still.

Next I know Carlisle will want to measure my height so I stand up as he rushes towards his desk to write down the measurements. Of course he's back before I'm done but the thoughts there.

"You've grown nessie" Carlisle grins at me. I smile half heartedly, when haven't I grown?

"Just go hop on the scales and we're done" Carlisle promises me. He alwaysets me do the scales myself, I'm glad, it makes me feel more like I get a sort of say in what happens, even though I know that I don't

I walk over to Carlisle and tell him how much I weigh. He smiles at me again and tells me I can go. I walk slowly towards the lounge. Jakes sitting on the couch waiting for me, and mums standing next to him laughing, they both stop when they see me, like they always do, as if I know what's going on.

I just shrug at them and mum rushes of towards Carlisle, jake pats the spot next to him. I sit down gladly "so what does doc have to say about my angel today?" He smiles his warm smile at me "not much" I blush just like every time he calls me his angel. He smiles a smal smile now and I know he's trying to hide that he's worried, stupid werewolf. Doesn't he know what's good for him? True he imprinted on me, but does that mean that I'm his best and only option? I smile to myself remembering how explained to me about imprinting.

It was only a couple of months ago but I must if looked about a year younger. Jake took me out to the lake where we lay looking up at the sky, finding shapes in the clouds, our hands were touching the slightest bit, I was only just starting to understand what I was condemning jake to.

He looked into my eyes, his russet skin glowing in the sunlight. He told me the story that no one else had botherd to tell me truthfully, of how I was born and how he imprinted on me at birth.

He along with everyone else expected me to take the news badly, but I was exited! I was his. And he was mine.

But now I realise that I was wrong.

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A/N hey guys please comment and vote to let me know what you think XD thanks