Twilight- fire and ice. An eternal flame

Chapter 3- experiment?

I love him

But I can't?

Can i?

I'm a vampire, well almost, and he's a werewolf, I can't expect him to love me, I'm a nothing, but.

But, he is mine, but I'm not good enough for him! But no one else deserves him.

Why is life so complicated? Oh god I wish for the times when I was younger, when he was mine and I was his, everything was so simple then, everything made sense.

"Ness" mum calls from my bedroom door,

"Yea" I answere cautious, did dad hear what I was thinking? "Can I come in?"

"Sure" I can hardly say no, not that I would want to but still.

"Hun can I talk to you?"

"Sure mom" moms obviously worried about something,

"Honey Carlisle and dad have had an idea" her eyes betray her, whatever the idea is she doesn't like it, "they think that maybe what's happening to your body is a reaction, your body type is a lot like jakes, you and him are the same, both not human or supernatural, just special, and jakes body goes through changes when he's around vampires, so they thought that maybe the opposite would be true for you" I stare at her not understanding, until it dawns on me, they want me to go be down at la push, with the pack, wow. "I thought that I would tell you first so that you can have time to think" mum tells me in certainly, "it's okay mom" I smile slightly "I'm just confused, can I have some time to think?" Mum smile and backs out the door, I collapse flustered onto my bed. Oh hell.

"Renesmee" this time dads voice rings from the lounge, I reluctantly peel myself up off my bed, it's been almost a hour, I just can't quite understand, they're sending me away? What change do they expect? What dies Jacob think? What do I think?

I fly down the stairs, I can't deny my brain the answers any longer.

"Yes" I gasp slightly short if breath.

"Hey beautiful" jake smiles from his spot next to me on the couch. I look from him to dad confused, dads expression is slightly pained while jake seems completely at ease. "Renesemee" dad calls for my full attention, I turn obviously towards him, "your mother and I have decided to try this... Experiment of Carlisle and allow Jacob to take you back to la push for a week, if you of course agree?" He eyes me cautiously,

"I'll try" I whisper, I made up my mind a long time ago, I would go with jacob, because u need to find something out, and I need to be away from my family to do it.

"Then you leave in the morning" dad sighs as he gets up and leaves the room, towards him and mums room.

"This will be awesome ness" jake sighs happily, I know he's exited about getting away from all the vampires, sometimes I wonder why he stays around.

"Yip sure thing jake" I say with as much happiness as I can muster.

"We can visit Charlie if you want?" I know jakes giving me the choice because I haven't seen grandpa in so long, since we left forks, I must if been tiny then, it was only about a year after the volturi attacked. "That would be nice" I tell him, I should be 5 almost 6 and grandpa already knew about how unusual I am, but I'm not sure if he would be happy to see what I look like now, I could pass for maybe 13 at the youngest? Probably not even that, maybe 14? But it's not like that will matter I can hardly tell him that's how old I am, all he has to do is check the calendar, it was so much easier when I was younger and all the decisions were made or me. So much easier.

"I know all the guys will want to see you" jakes almost talking to himself now. "And Emily must miss you" "Claire" he tacks on as an after thought. "Everyone" he finishes happily as he turns me "thank you"

He turns suddenly towards uncle emmet who just came in, jake pushes me away slightly as uncle emmet growls slightly and punches his fist into his palm threateningly, he eyes us suspiciously as he turns and heads up the stairs.

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