Got Your Tail (boyxboy) ✓

Chapter Sixteen

Explain? What was there to explain? He'd made it perfectly clear what he thought of me the day he had me crying on the pack house kitchen floor. The moment he rejected me, the moment he started yelling at me, demeaning me, cursing me; I knew what he thought of me.

So maybe I'd expected it, but I never thought he would be as harsh as he was. I'd dreamed the night before, all sorts of possibilities of how it would go down. He would see me, realize, sneer in disgust and walk away. Maybe he would shake his head in disappointment. Maybe he would just run away. I'd planned on leaving before he managed to find out but I didn't manage to get away in time.

How was I supposed to get over that? He was my mate and yes I was bound to him but could I ever place trust in the man knowing how outraged he had acted upon finding me to be his mate. What could he possibly say that could justify his actions?

You know, I never left the pack, when I ran away I saw the pack mark slowly fade from my skin. Do you know what that means? Do you know? That means I never left them, they kicked me out.

I'd spent two years trying to quash the pain of rejection and betrayal in the darkest hole in my mind and Castus comes, drags me off to his fucking lair, and refreshes all those dark dusty memories.

Some people might think two years wasn't long. Have you ever lost someone? Have you ever mourned for two years? It lengthens the time, it makes it all so much longer. It felt like I'd been gone more than decades.

The cutting, the tears, the depression, and above all, the loneliness. How could that not leave a jagged scare somewhere in my mind?

I decided not to ever forgive him, because it would be better for me that way, because if he decided sooner or later that he, after all, did not want me, I would never have to suffer the same betrayal all over again.

"Excuses?" I sneered.

Our eyes met for a brief second before he turned to face the direction he was sitting in and stare straight ahead.

"Not an excuse, an explanation."

An explanation, yeah right, and what difference does it make? I felt a shiver run through me and suddenly I felt cold and tired, I wasn't one for emotional discussions and yet leave me alone with my mate for five minutes and I was there spilling my dark disheveled heart out to him.

I was exhausted, I couldn't find enough in me to argue so I just signaled for him to continue. Somehow out of the corner of his eye he saw me.

"I loved you, love you still." He said, his voice was low and it sounded more like a hum. The room was quiet. I stared at him. Was he fucking serious? Was he serious? I'd never heard bullshit as bad as that before, what an awful joke. After all he'd done to me, now he was saying he loved me?

"Oh, yeah, I forgot, it's custom to cheat on those you love. I forgot! Oh, crazy me, I should have known!" I snarled.

He caught my glare and his eyes turned dark.

"I know I did you wrong Sven but-"

I laughed, not out of amusement. "Oh, and when did you realize that?!"

"Let me speak."

"It's also not Sven. It's Stiles, I go by Stiles now, but you wouldn't know that," he tried to interrupt, "since I've been gone for two years."

"LET ME SPEAK!" He ordered.

My tongue swallowed itself and I felt my throat constrict. My entire body froze and tensed and I found myself complying whether I liked it or not. Castus had more power over me than I liked. If I were a part of his pack I would have my throat bared at this point, and by Luna do we all know how badly that might end. An unmarked wolf should never bare their throat to their mate unless they know what to expect.