Got Your Tail (boyxboy) ✓

Chapter Thirty One

[Castus' POV]

The food was boring and nostalgic, everything was just OK maybe a little dry and a little bland, back when I was younger her food was always like this, every meal could have been the same as the last one. For starters this was because she liked to only have to buy very specific ingredients and always be able to use them up but also my dad was extremely picky about what his food contained.

If my mother made something my dad didn't like my father had this spiel he would do. First he'd take a bite and cough and make a face, looking at me with an expression as though we were both disgusted he could continue to take small bites and gag, he crunched extra loudly just to make it as obvious as possible he hated her food.

My mother never said anything, I think her emotions died a long time ago, all this anger and resentment isn't real I don't think. She doesn't hate Zack, she doesn't even hate Sven, she's just venting all her darkness on them.

When I see her like that it pains me, it hurts because I know her smile, she used to smile and play with me like a normal boy. A part of me hates her, but I miss her as well, the her that died so long ago. I have no hope that she will return, whatever my father wanted her to be she has become, a shell where a tortoise once lived and cried.

Sven had managed to escape somewhere, Zack was still in his room on Denis' orders, I'm not sure what's going on between them.

I wasn't in any mood to chase Sven down, he didn't deserve to have to sit next to my mother and watch her bare her fangs.

When Sven first faced my mother after such a long time I'd have expected him to be the one fuming, instead he held almost no regard for what she said. He was calm and completely withdrawn, as though he didn't care at all, which was crazy considering who she was and what she said.

Still, I could see the need to get away from her.

The others just sat around the table and ate in a sullen silence that naturally enveloped any room my mother walked in. They sat expressionless and chewed and chewed, taking their time with the meal, as though maybe it was hard to swallow.

I know my pack doesn't like her, obviously they've never said anything to or around me but it's not a hard thing to figure out.

They'd met Emyln once before, it was the first time I saw my mother in a while since I abandoned the pack. My desperation to be loved lead me to romanticize my memories of her and when I finally got through and invited her over I was, in a way, deluded with expectation.

Of course my mother being my mother she came and spat on all the good intention thrown her way, crushing me internally and offending anything that moved and breathed.

It was weird because in a way after I found Sven and brought him back I realized how raw I'd felt, how sensitive I'd been to everything, how dramatic. All my emotion ended up being invested in Sven and my illusions about my mother, which had persevered despite her venom, eventually faded.

I had no more illusions about my mother, I'm not sure I feel anything for her anymore, in fact, I just wanted her to leave.

My mother constantly looked up at me as though she had noticed my lack of emotion towards her. Nothing she did angered me or humiliated me, now her little gimmicks got her very little attention because all I felt was irritation.

Now that I've seen her again I was really able to fully appreciate how silent that hyperactive emotional bubble in my brain had become.

I felt a little like psycho watching her wondering if there was any easy way to make her go away, my own mother.